Please help?

Question

I haven't spoke to my dad in years. he lives in the same area as me and my family.
His wife that he has being married to for about 5 years hates me, but loves my brothers.
i have reasntley heard that dad has started to go to AA meeting because he is an alcoholic.
Do you think i should give him another chance and go and see him.

Answer 1

Definately. Family should be #1 in your life. Seeing him now, whether it works out or not, will ensure that you don't have any regrets that you will end up carrying with you for the rest of your life.

Answer 2

Well I understand completely what you are going through, my mum is the same with me. I made contact with her when my first child was born, because I felt it was right that she knew and at least had the oppertunity to be a part of our lives if she wanted it. Things were difficult at first but have now improved. Don't get me wrong things aren't perfect but we've reached an undertsanding of sorts.

I think you should write your dad a letter and tell him you would like to meet up, and take things slowly. Be prepared for things to be difficult, but if you don't try you might regret it.

Good Luck
xx

Answer 3

that is something that you alone must decide,no one can say if it is the right thing to do or not,if you still love your dad then the decision is easy,if you are not sure how you feel about him then maybe you should leave it for a while,my father left us when i was very young,i met him again when i was 17yrs old but had absolutely no feelings what so ever for him,i haven,t seen him since and don,t want to,that is a choice i made a long time ago,i don,t feel sad or guilty because to me he is just another person not a relative,don,t think you have to make amends because of his alcohol issue,that is not the best reason to see him,you need to do it because you want to not out of a sense of having to,take care.

Answer 4

I symapathise, am in a similar situation. This will depend on how strong a person you are and whether you are up to handling rejection if he chooses not to have a relationship with you.
If his wife doesn't like you it is possible he will always choose to please her rather than work on a relationship with you even if it is what he would like to do - after all he has to live with her. Although the fact that he is going to AA meetings suggests he is trying to turn his life around.
I would suggest you wait and allow him the opportunity to deal with one issue at a time, although a carefully worded letter with no accusations would allow him to come to you when he is ready.

Answer 5

Hey,
My mum goes to AA meetings too.
I have problems with my mum for other reasons of her being an alcoholic. But i forgave her from her drinking
i think you really should call/email/write to him saying you wish to have your dad. Either you will be happy and have a dad, or you realise it not ok to be family, but you need to see, i wish you good luck and i really hope you get communication with your dad again.

Answer 6

I am in a similar situation with my dad (not the AA part) His wife doesn't like any of his so he doesn't see any of us except my sister! which no one understands. Don't let it get to you. If you go to him first there is always the chance he might reject you which will hurt like hell trust me I know. Speak to your brother to see what he says and ask if he will have a word with your dad. let him come to you he will when he is ready. I know it hurts like hell but be patient

Answer 7

I say wait a little while. Part of the thing with AA is mending fences with people. Give him a little time to get inot the program, and if he does well, he should be looking YOU up.

Unless you just really want to see him, but then keep your guard up.

Answer 8

I think that as hard as family life can be it is well worth making the most of the time you have with them! If you can't bring yourself to go and see him maybe just a phone call could make the difference!

You never know what you have till its gone - and then its too late!!

Answer 9

Hey there,

I know how you feel, my dad left when i was 6 years old, and i haven't seen him since last year where i met him at my auntie funeral and he dosent really want much to do with me.

ia m not saying your dad dose not want nothing to do with u, but it up to u if you want that relationship again? are u ready?
give it ago but make sure he makes alot of effort to do it, make sure he wants to spend time with u, if not i would just try and move on with out him, unfornaulty that's why i am doing, even though its easier said than done.

good luck xxx

Love
XxXxPinkPrincessxXxX

Answer 10

Life is to short to let your father's wife get between you and your dad. Don't waste any sleep over her hating you, leave that alone, you get on with your life and building a relationship with your father again before its to late.