English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

I am 52, she is 28. I am getting the usual signals: stands really close to me, always touching my arm, always comes over to me when she sees me, really holds my gaze for longer than expected. I don't think it's my imagination. I mean, I have made no moves on her ( for all the usual embarrassing reasons). I'm actually quite perplexed; don't really know what to do as she is a colleague I really respect and like.

2007-05-25 00:50:27 · 28 answers · asked by darestobelieve 4 in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

28 answers

Maybe this question should have also been posted in the etiquette section. Because...........you should not contemplate going out with a colleague, unless it is at a coffee shop to discuss business. Remember something, at fifty, life should be getting easier and softer, not harder.

2007-06-01 23:11:08 · answer #1 · answered by Neska 1 · 0 0

Hello Mr 52. Firstly, you haven't made explicit whether or not you are attracted to her. By the sound of your email, you seem to be more worried about the fact she is half your age. Is that really such an issue? If, of course, you have no inclination to breach the boundary of friendship with the young lady in question, then honestly, I would pull her aside one day and simply tell her what you are feeling. I'd certainly rather a man be honest then let me think there was something there if that wasn't the case. Use a bit of humour and try to make light of the situation. Life's too short to get all perplexed about something like this. If you respect and like her as you say, then be open, upfront, and honest. What is the worst scenario? She could laugh at you or she could get upset that her feelings aren't reciprocated. Either way, better to clear the air so you can sleep better at night:)

2007-05-25 01:14:59 · answer #2 · answered by gin71 1 · 1 0

Take it slow, don't assume that you are reading the signals correctly, and let things evolve. Because of your ages, you want there to be the one who initiates anything more than work related actions because there could be a problem with mis-interpretation that could result in a hostile work environment issue. It may be simply that this young lady subconsciously sees you as a father figure or respected work figure with whom she can learn from. She may also see you as a non-threat sexually because of your age, kind of like the relationships between women and gay men. If you are feeling the sexual vibes from her, a one time joking comment about her proximity to you may open the door (if you really are interested). I wish you luck! I tell people that you first have a sense that middle age is here when you look at a really hot mid-20's or younger woman and honestly realize that if you really wanted to date that, you would have no shot at all unless you were paying for it. A sad reality.....

2007-05-25 01:18:15 · answer #3 · answered by Drew C 2 · 1 0

You didn't say this woman is a co-worker, but if she is, then be nice and friendly to her. If she keeps moving on you, then maybe you should ask her out once just to see if she is really interested in you because she thinks you are a nice guy, or if she is after more than you want to give her right now. By the way, age makes no difference. It's the relationship that matters.

2007-06-02 00:31:42 · answer #4 · answered by barbwire 7 · 0 0

You're probably living every man's fantasy (if she's hot that is).
I wouldn't sweat it. If you have a problem seeing a girl her age, or seeing someone at work, let her know politely, if the advances get "worse" (better in my view). If you're single, and this girl's mature enough/not an airhead, I'd dive into her if I was in your shoes. Unless she's a strange bird and has Daddy issues, etc. See if you can bump into her "accidentally" outside the office, try to initiate a friendly coffee thing w/o her getting "the signal". See what's going on with her.

2007-05-25 01:18:43 · answer #5 · answered by The one with a tail... 5 · 1 0

It's obviously making you uncomfortable, and I don't blame you. It's a work situation, so it's probably inappropriate. You are going to have to have a talk with her and tell her that you are starting to feel uncomfortable with her. Tell her you respect her very much as a collegue, but her close contact is making you feel uncomfortable because this is your work and livelihood. Tell her you really can't afford to feel like this at work, you've spent alot of time and effort nuturing your career. I'm sure she'll be apologetic, and when she is, the air will be clear and you can go on with your career. Good luck.

2007-05-25 01:07:14 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You have to be careful. IF you have read it wrong then it could be uncomfortable after the knock back. But if you have read her signals right and want to go for it then you must think of the consequences if you both don't work out having to work together etc. OR it could work out fine and you could live happy ever after! Don't worry about the age thing if she does indeed want to go out with you it obviously doesn't bother her and it sounds like it would not bother you. If you are interested and want to take your relationship a step further then casually ask her if she would like to go for a drink with you after work and go from there............... Good luck. xx

2007-06-02 00:43:33 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

If its respect and like on your part,leave things as they are. You may spoil the friend ship if you are getting the wrong impression.Invite her out for a meal and take it from there.Good luck because age is not a barrier when it comes to love.

2007-05-25 01:32:31 · answer #8 · answered by jw808052 1 · 1 0

hey you only live once - as long as no ones getting hurt in the process - why not have some fun?

If your scared by this woman or dont fancy her - then be honest, tell her that she's making you feel quite uncomfortable as you think shes coming onto you, tell her that you prefer to be open and honest and not play games and tell her thats what shes doing - that way your not the bad guy but your sticking to your standards. etc

good luck

2007-05-25 01:01:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

So she is a colleague that you respect and like. So what is the question?
I'm not why you are perplexed. If age is a hang-up for you . . . simply tell her so.

2007-05-25 01:21:32 · answer #10 · answered by Skully 4 · 0 0

fedest.com, questions and answers