I'm a very new LDS and I have a good friend who will be going on his mission in August, he's about 22. Well the point I'm trying to get at is that my other friends have noticed that we both like each other enough to go out with each other, and they want to set us up so that we are dating when he leaves so that I can wait for him, but how do I wait for two years??? If he really is my eternal companion, how am I supposed to cope with being away from him if I'm emotionally attached?
some advice please. Please dont say that it wont happen, because I've practically already been set up with him and he agreed.
I hope you can understand whats been said through my babbling...
2007-05-24 22:40:04 · 10 answers · asked by joeyfarlz 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Purple.Diamond's: married women can go with the guys... otherwise we have to go on a different mission, by ourselves...
2007-05-24 22:56:33 · update #1
Caroline: I'm 20
2007-05-24 22:57:12 · update #2
starborn63: yes I'm comfortable with being set up with him, I like him but I dont have the guts to do anything about it, and its easier this way, its been organised that we're going as a whole group, so not just us two, to see Pirates of the Caribbean 3...
2007-05-24 23:18:08 · update #3
Purple Diamond: just clarifying, married women can go with their husbands on a couple's mission, and since I'm not married I cant go on a couple's mission
2007-05-24 23:19:38 · update #4
Hey, every couple is different, so there's no solid answer, but I can share my experience and advice.
I did start to date my husband before his mission - at the time, I was actually preparing for a mission too (he's about a year younger than me). I knew from the start that this was marriage quality guy, but when he asked if I planned on waiting or not, I said no.
He left for his mission. I dated a few guys (they were great, but didn't seem to measure up to him), then I went on my own mission and obviously didn't date at all during that time, then I came home (before him) and dated some more before he returned (again no one really quite seemed to match me like him, but I was willing to give them the chance). He came home, and we hit it off again, and we're married shortly after that.
The whole time we did write each other, and while I was on a mission too, that mutual support and understanding really helped us through the hard days.
All in all, my advice for you (from someone who has been on both sides of the mission fence) is: Don't tell him you're going to wait, in fact tell him you plan on dating. Tell him you care for him, but it's better that he expects you to date - I've seen plenty of dear Johns and dear Janes - horrible stuff on the mission - and you don't want to do that to him. You'd rather he be pleasantly surprised that your still available and crazy for him than horribly surprised that your not.
The only tricky part after that is deciding how affectionate to be (or not to be) in your letters - but I'll leave that between you two.
good luck
2007-05-25 05:09:06 · answer #1 · answered by daisyk 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you really love him, you will wait for him. You know that mission is the best for him and that you have to let him concentrate, after this 2 years you two have an entire life to live together. If you 2 are meant to each other then everything will be fine, but if you don't then whatever happens for a reason.
I hope that you don't break this guy's heart by sending him a Dear John letter. If you know that you won't be able to wait for him just let him know right now before he leaves for his mission so he will not be illusionated and thinking and saying his missionary friends that he has a nice lady waiting for him and then the letter with the bad news arrives or when he gets home you're with somebody else, he would feel very dissapointment and sad.
2007-05-25 05:44:14 · answer #2 · answered by Love Yahoo!!! wannabe a princess 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I think it is an honorable thing to wait for a missionary while they are gone. I've seen the scenario play out both ways though, so if it happens that you find someone else while he is gone, you shouldn't feel handcuffed into waiting for him. But, if you feel you want to wait and that he's the one for you, then by all means! There are plenty of things to do for two years! And you know what, just because you're waiting, doesn't mean you still can't go out and have fun. During those two years either your belief will solidified or you will come to find that you weren't meant to be after all. Either way, have fun! Be young and follow your heart!
2007-05-25 04:23:57 · answer #3 · answered by socmum16 ♪ 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't get emotionally attached. I would work on becoming friends and getting to know each other. It is a distraction for a missionary when they are overly concerned about a girl waiting for them at home. Also, while he is gone he needs to be good with you dating and not putting your life on hold for him. If you happen to be single and still interested in seeing where things go when he gets back, then great. When I left on a mission I encouraged my girlfriend to do the above, that we were no longer girlfriend/boyfriend and that she didn't need to write too much. It was perfect. We kept in touch here and there and we hung out when I got home, but I didn't feel we were to be together. You just can't stress about it and certainly don't want him to. I later taught at the MTC (Missionary Training Center) and encouraged all the missionaries I taught to not worry about girlfriends/boyfriends and to focus on what they were there to do. When it comes down to it you just need to decide what's comfortable for you both, but no one should be passing up on living or putting their life on hold. Good luck.
2007-05-25 07:33:55 · answer #4 · answered by straightup 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Eternity is a long time. Better date around and get to know a lot of people so you know what you are looking for in a husband. When this guy gets back, maybe you will be available, maybe you won't. But either way, you dated around and had a lot of fun, and no regrets.
In SLC, I know a lot of girls who have "waited for missionaries" and I only ever knew ONE who made it the whole 2 years. So it can happen, yeah, but it's like a 1% chance, to be honest.
2007-05-24 22:44:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
This is why my son refuses to get into a relationship with any girls yet.
If e is"The One", then the two year separaionwhil ehe doeis mission will be a great blessing to you both. Write to him often, maybe send a care package periodically. Encourage him on his mission and if he two of you treat this as a learning experience, you'll both be blessed.
2007-05-28 00:56:30 · answer #6 · answered by mormon_4_jesus 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What does your heart tell you? Being that you are "new" to LDS...what does your head tell you? Is this truly the life that you envision for yourself? You mention being "set-up" with him...are you comfortable in that role? If so...all the best to you. If not....RUN!!! You have the right to choose your life. I was raised/forced to believe in a creator...but learned through my own introspection that if there is "true power" in the universe....it is all life!!! Be well and be strong!
2007-05-24 23:14:14 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let him go on his mission, when he gets back and if both of you are still interested in each other go from there.
gw
2007-05-25 04:45:39 · answer #8 · answered by georgewallace78 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you already consider him your life partner, two years should mean very little. Your religion does not allow the physical intimacy that might happen anyway, so this may help to follow the rules. You can call him and write him, that will get you by in tthe short term.
I must say I think LDS is silly.
2007-05-24 22:47:31 · answer #9 · answered by Nort 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Can't you go with him?
Don't LDS women go on mission?
2007-05-24 22:43:56 · answer #10 · answered by Purple.Diamond 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋