My boyfriend and I have been dating on and off for three years. Every couple of months for the last couple years we get into a fight and dont have any contact for three weeks at the longest. He will usually call me up and we'll get back together. Right now things are going so wonderful, I've never been so happy. We are moving in together July 25th. I guess that it is bugging me that he hasn't asked me to marry him and that he told me about a year ago that he doesn't want kids because he doesn't want to give them his eczema and because he says he likes to relax and not do anything after work. He doesn't want screaming kids around. Things are going so well right now that I dont want to bring up how I feel, that I want to get married and have kids. I have brought up marriage before and he says that we fight too much, but that he has always been faithful and commited to me. I dont know how to tell him how much it is bothering me.
2007-05-24 22:23:02 · 9 answers · asked by juniper555 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you have your heart set on getting married and having children DO NOT move in with him. You will end up the same way I did--old and disappointed. I waited 12 years hoping that he would change his mind. I ended up having to move out about a year ago. He was right. He did tell me, but I just thought that eventually, because I knew that he loved me, he would change his mind.
Don't waste your life thinking that things will change. He was honest with you., and he meant what he said. You can't change him.
2007-05-24 22:30:38 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Ok, my ex didn't want to marry me, even though I'm only 21 he was almost thirty, a time when men should want to marry, so I broke it off. We were going out on and off for like, a year, and he made it really clear he never wanted to get married or have kids. He clearly wanted a woman around just for sexual encounters. My ex would start fights and deliberately do things to embarass me in public (show up on dates with stained clothes, binge and eat really fast and than puke at a fancy restaraunt, tell me he wanted me to wear all black, sexy clothes while he looked like crap, etc.) This is a thirty year old man I'm talking about! I knew it wasn't me who was starting these fights, so I let him go. Fortunately he never wanted me to move in with him, because than, like, I'd so be stepping on his precious space! Drop a man who constantly picks fights, the whole wonderful thing will only be a short while before it goes back to the same old same old, he breaks it off so it doesn't get too intense (a marriage proposal?!), calls so you get back together (for sex), blah, blah, blah. I've been through it all and dumping my ex for good was the best thing I ever did. Now I can find a man who really respects me.
2007-05-25 10:28:28 · answer #2 · answered by knockbeforeyouenter 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with what others have written, he's been honest with you doesn't want kids or marriage and you said it's been on and off for three years. What's in it for you? You say you are happy but then go on too say there are things bugging you. I wouldn't be getting him to move in - he's happy getting everything he wants without a committment. What are you getting. Your just wasting time with this guy if you really want kids. Find someone who wants the same as you.
Not trying to be mean, I think you can do better for yourself.
2007-05-25 05:46:05 · answer #3 · answered by flip 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't settle. if he can't give you what you need or even want or do his best to be what you need, leave him. There are too many guys out there who want to treat women well.
Plus why would you have kids with a man if he can't even fully commit to YOU? Much less kids you'd have together????
2007-05-25 15:42:51 · answer #4 · answered by cocoboo312 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, what can i say... if you don't tell him how you feel, then he'll never be clear about what you feel. more over, you'll only be increasing your own stress levels. so go ahead and tell him, there's nothing to lose. and if he says he's scared of marriage, then you can question his committment to you. bottom line: you gotta make things happen for yourself honey! All the best!
2007-05-25 05:57:49 · answer #5 · answered by kennyjoel87 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i dont know my ex hsubadn always said he never wanted kids and would never give them to me either. i wonder if he has any now... i decided im not giong to mes w/ a guy who doesnt want teh same things as me anymore u know? only u know what is best fo ryou two to do girl ! good luck, !!!
2007-05-25 20:22:22 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well, if he doesn't want to marry, why would you want to marry him?
and if he doesn't want to have kids, why would you want to have kids with him?
He's been honest, and made himself clear: no marriage, no kids. Don't try to change him, you can't do it.
Instead, thank him for his honesty. At least he didn't pull a bait-and-switch on you!!!
2007-05-25 05:27:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Doubt you will ever get married or have kids with this one from what you have written.
2007-05-25 05:26:49 · answer #8 · answered by Redcarn 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How are we supposed to make the decision for you ? It is ur life and you have to take the right steps.
2007-05-25 05:26:10 · answer #9 · answered by ~ShUdDhAtA UnLiMiTeD~ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋