my bf choked me. HELP!!?

Question

so i was supposed to be at his house by 5 30 but my mom was giving me **** so i was late. I got there at like 5 40ish and he flipped out. I got pushed up against a wall and hestated to choke me asking me how come im too stupid to tell time and how he could get some1 so much smater and prettier then me and that he was going to teach me not to be late again saying that if he let go of me to late i would die and it would be my fault.


i have no idea wut to do... i am so confused and it suxs i love him so much

im 17 and so is he but he turns 18 june 21 and i wont turn 18 til next year

Answer 1

You are definitely on the receiving end of some pretty harsh treatment. Your mom is angry with you and your boyfriend is angry with you, insults you and assaults you. What a big tough man he must be to pick on you. I suspect that he has treated you poorly for awhile now and you have done everything you can to make him happy with you. Of course you are confused. For some reason you don't like yourself enough to call off this relationship and call the police. This is a dangerous person and you are being controlled by him. You are in for a lot more than what you have just experienced from this boy. He does not love you or care about you the way a normal man would. He needs to have power over you. You probably would be asking for trouble by talking to him about his behaviour. He will get angry and suggest that he is the way he is because of the way you are, you make him do it....so not true! Everything will be your fault and you will never be good enough. You are not even in control over your own feelings, he has manipulated you into believing you love him. You need to ask yourself how you could love someone who treats you like you were dirt.
The harder you try the worse it will get because he has no respect for you and you have no respect for yourself. Love him all you want but you need to protect yourself, get away from him now. It may be difficult for you to make this decision
without having some help. To find out why you would put yourself through this type of treatment you need to understand where your poor self esteem comes from. If you are still in school go talk to the school counsellor or speak to your doctor about what happened. He probably will refer you to a counsellor who can help you to explore the reasons behind the unhealthy choices you make and help you to feel better about yourself. I know what I have said is blunt, but I really am afraid for you. Please take care of yourself so that you can find someone who loves you just the way you are. Someone who would protect you and never hurt you.

Answer 2

Why in the world would anyone love being choked and threatened for being late? If he were a stranger on the street you would have already made that call to law enforcement. Wow what if you really make a mistake? like getting pregnant..would you be this confused if it were your child? What if he had injured your neck & paralyzed you? You think he will take care of you then? It's called assault & battery or S&M..one is against the law the other is consensual (which means you like it)
You can't fix someone like that no matter what you do whether it is stupid or not. Nothing will ever fix him, not even himself because he likes it. Do you? Let him get another bimbo jeez what are you gonna miss? some really stupid guy that will end up in jail for killing a woman..eventually and still browbeat you into thinking he just loves you till death do us part. You need to talk to your parents, a counselor, educate yourself (so you aren't stupid)and law enforcement. You aren't the first one and you won't be the last

Answer 3

There is too much abuse in our society and it is people like your bf that need to be helped. Helped to jail. Love or not, abuse is wrong and no matter how much love you have will justify abuse. Do not be afraid of him but you seriously need to think about your position. The profile of an abuser is that they will do what he did and then apologize or make it better but just enough to keep you around until next time. They have no compassion for their victims and lure them back and do just enough to keep the victim from going away for good or from exposing them. They are sick people and very dangerous. Do not be confused either, even if he is not an abuser, that is not the way to talk to anyone period. The physical violence is not to be accepted unless that is what you want. If he is an abuser then you are destined for some really hard lessons. Your love is not enough to compensate for what drives them. If you take the chance of staying with him have a cell phone with you and when it starts dial 911 to protect yourself. The love will help you not to see what is going on and that will not work to your advantage. I was abused for over two years by my second ex wife and she was good. They are very smart people but they lack the capacity to love or have compassionate feelings for their victims. That should tell you something. My advice, find you a regular guy that is looking or needs someone to be a friend and partner. The snapshot you gave of your bf gave me chill bumps. It is hard to imagine unless you have been there and it is one of the most ugliest places I know of. Do what your heart wants but temper it with some good decisions from your mind while you are young and live to be old. I am sure that you have enough love and I am sure there is someone that will appreciate it and give you back the same.

Answer 4

You indicate you love him, but how much does he love you to treat you so abusively? Do you enjoy being a victim and the drama that comes with it? If not, you will get the guts off to go to the police and file charges while evidence of brusing still exists and get a restraining orde and end the relationship.

If not, no one is going to feel sorry for you for choosing to be a victim, only your family when you end up being murdered by his hand, It is your choice.

Someone who loves you would never harm you physically or threaten your life, he only wants to control you. If you choose to accept his controlling behavior, the situation will only get worse, not better. The more you give, the more he will try to take, until there is nothing left of your own will.

Answer 5

20 or so people so far have all been spot on with their advice to you. To ignore this is to enter a downward spiral of domestic violence that will include at times: I'm sorry / it will not happen again / it was your fault / you made me do it. This will be followed by gifts like flowers, chocolates saying he loves you. Then the violence returns.
What you need is to firstly, not let him isolate you from family & friends and then you need help, to find out why you would love someone who abuses you, when you know that if it was happening to your best friend you would say "run do not walk to the nearest exit". My guess is that your self esteem is so low you do not believe you will find anyone better...

Answer 6

screw that, "i love him so much" garbage. get rid of him. if he puts his hands on you once, he'll do it again and again. END IT NOW. find someone whos gonna treat you better. and just think, he did it because you were ten minutes late!!?? think of what may happen if a REAL problem came up. than what? things like this never get "better". no matter how much you wanna talk to him about it. or how much you "love him". that eventually just becomes an excuse for you to justify being in an abusive relationship. trust me babydoll, get out now and put it behind you. dont even talk to him anymore. FOR ANY REASON. and dont believe the "ill never do it again" bulls**t hes gonna start spewing. ive seen it too many times. just go and be done with it. theres tons of good guys out there.

Answer 7

Wow darlin you are with the WRONG guy! No man should ever treat you this way-- EVER! If he did this to you for being 10 minutes late, he is capable of doing MUCH MORE to you for something else. No guy who cares about you will do that or tell you that he can find someone smarter or prettier!! YOU DESERVE BETTER and this guy is a loser. I don't know how old you are... but you WILL find someone who will trreat you the way you should be treated and you need to leave this loser now before it gets worse.

Answer 8

That's an easy one! GET RIDE OF HIM!!! Who the hell does he think he is to treat you like that?! If you stay with him after this he'll keep on acting this way it WILL get worse. You need to get out of that situation and fast!!! You are not safe with this man! You will get over him and find another man that will treat you like a queen and you'll look back and wonder why you wasted do much time. Breaking up is always hard at first, but time heals that. You need to end the relationship and cut ALL ties to him. No contact is the only way to help get over him! Goodluck - and be safe!

Answer 9

You should tell someone WITHOUT QUESTION. He is dangerous and this will only get worse. If he will choke you for simply being late, imagine what he'll do if you did something serious. Do you think you are stupid etc.? What kind of guy claims to love you and thinks that way of you? What do you love about him? Please get some counseling and tell someone about this.
AND.. you are not what he claims you are. The more you stay with him.. the more you'll believe it. The fact is that you are with a weak, insecure, angry, selfish and dangerous guy. Get rid of him before he destroys you like he's trying to do.

Answer 10

mine did the same thing cause i was leaving him and i guess he felt he had lost all control at that minute cause i wouldn't change my mind.Even though it was not a hard chock it did make me hack cough ,but the one thing i remember is that i felt sooo defenseless and figured that this was a beginning of more abuse if i let him get a way with it now so i had him arrested and put a permanent restraining order on him but it serves no purpose to do this if your not sure YOU can stay away from him for your own good. He was testing his power and control over you