You may help me get wisdom on what to do. Thanks.
2007-05-24 19:46:13 · 10 answers · asked by cheng 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You should take him to meet his father but only under you supervision..If their is'nt already a male influence in his life then maybe this is opportunity..However, I would be very cautious, and talk to your son to make him aware that his father may leave him again..Protect your child though, and do what you feel inside is the best thing to do..If your'e unsettled within about letting this guy see his son, then don't do it..And, on the contrary, if you think that it's the right thing to do then go for it..I hope this could help you out, and good luck with your decision..
2007-05-24 19:59:36 · answer #1 · answered by stlouis4urunowut 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well how old is your son? My older brother (now 36) wanted to see his father. His father had no interest in raising him or being a part of his life. The sad part was that his dad even used to live right across the street from us. Still he never made an effort to see my brother. When my brother got older, and out of high school, he really wanted to have a relationship with his father. He would talk to my mom about it then a few more years passed and my brother had a daughter. His first child. He went to his dads house and told him he was a grandpa. He got this response "oh". Nothing more than that. After that my brother made up his mind about his father. He couldn't care less about having any kind of relationship with him.
My point is, that maybe your son should see his dad. It may give him closure or at the very least kill his curiosity and make him figure out if he even wants this man in his life.
2007-05-25 03:26:19 · answer #2 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is under 16, just tell him that you will give him the information he needs to contact his father when he gets a bit older. If he is 16 or older, give him the information to contact his father, but warn him that you are not sure if he will ever want to be in his life or not. Help him not to get his hopes up before he contacts this person.
that is how I handled it. It was a good thing that I waited. His father promised him that he wanted to be in his life, then never contacted him again. I emotionally prepared my son for this, because I had a feeling that his father could have cared less. Fortunately, because he was prepared, he took it all in stride, and is okay with it. If he had been younger, I don't think that my son would have handled it as well. He would have probably thought that it was because something was wrong with him, instead of realizing that his father was just an irresponsible person.
2007-05-25 03:01:39 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, do NOT promise your son ANYTHING! ASK your son WHY, and what he thinks it would be like if he did - and give him some "what if's" - like if he's married and has other kids, drinks alot, does drugs, doesn't WANT to see his son... show your son there is a real possibility it could be a disaster or hurtful to contact the man - if he understands and is willing to take the chance, YOU need to find "Dad" without your son knowing, and take it from there. 7 year old boys REALLY need a POSITIVE male role model - have you considered contacting "Big Brothers"? I know other single Moms that found them to be a real blessing for their boys.
2007-05-25 03:37:55 · answer #4 · answered by BikerChick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Contact your ex and tell him about your son. You two did not end up to be a couple but still he is the father of your son. The little boy has a right to have a father, to be taken care of by a guy (that's very important in terms of fatherhood and also manhood), or at least he does not feel unfair for him compare to his friends with a father.
2007-05-25 02:51:58 · answer #5 · answered by Chi Chi 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My sisters son hasn't seen his dad in several years either. It is best to go with the truth. If you lie to him to cover for his dad, sooner or later he will find the truth and want to know why you lied to him. I would though try to contact the father, if you know where he is, and let him know that his son is starting to ask about him. You said you haven't seen him in 7 years, but you might still know where he is, I wasn't sure on that.
2007-05-25 02:50:01 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is he know that both of you were no longer connected to each other?I mean divorce or separated?If he knows just tell him the truth on everything that he needs to know,there's no need to make some fictitous story that like this ,like that,you know what I mean.Cause one way or the other,when he grow-up,everything will be clear to him and if you lie that will definitely hurt him and also to you.That's it ,just be honest to him all the time,and explain to him everything that was happen to your relationship with his father.So you wouldn't worry anymore about it.But his tender age don't make any promises that you can't keep,about tryin to look for his father.
2007-05-25 03:03:08 · answer #7 · answered by CARL76 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him as much as you can without words that might hurt him
too much. the fact that he's not in his life is painful enough.
to not know anything about him hurts too. if the dad isnt going to be in his life, state what the plans are for a father figure. is it a grandparent or a good friend, an uncle? divert his attention from someone he doesnt know to focus on someone that he does know. good luck.
2007-05-25 02:51:34 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would get i touch with the dad if he does not want to see is son i would tell your son what you know about his dad and wait till he is older to tell him the whole truth
2007-05-28 20:57:23 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell him the truth without hurting him.Just tell him you had your differences and you went on your separate ways.Promise him you gonna find his father for him.He has a missing peace on his puzzle,find it for him.He deserves to see it.
2007-05-25 03:01:08 · answer #10 · answered by avavu 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋