I was in a 5 year relationship where I was strung along (friend, lover, friend, lover, friend, lover - over and over again). It was madness. Took me everything to get out of that cycle, three years.
I'm starting to seriously date again. Now there's this woman I'm REALLY connecting with. It's still way too early to tell how connected she feels to me. Frankly, I think she's keeping herself available for other guys as she's new to the town and she's very attractive. Our chemistry is undeniable, but it's scaring me in the most paralyzing way because I'm reminded of being "stung along" before. I feel like an old, shell-shocked war vet or something. Anyway, her behavior is normal for a young single woman out and about, dating, having a good time. I'm feeling like I'm taking this all too seriously, and I'm afraid of scaring her off. I've been quiet about it, but I'm getting antsy. Should I date others to keep myself distracted? Should I suffer? Please, if you have any advice, please share!
2007-05-24 19:35:57 · 7 answers · asked by ? 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Oh wow - I'm sorry to hear about your previous experience. I understand your dilemma. I would continue to date her, try to relax, and have a good time. Realize that this girl is NOT the other girl - so you can't punish her for future things she might or might not do. Don't be in a rush to find "the one" or make everything so serious. It sounds like she really likes you, has fun, and isn't looking for alot more at the moment. But that's not a horrible thing. It doesn't sound like you're really in a good place to have a serious r'ship anyway. So,I would continue to date her and start seeing other people too. I mean...if she's gonna play the field, why can't you? Now is the time to see what else is out there. You never know - you could meet "the one" by accident! Don't worry honey. Although this bad thing happened in the past, I promise, you'll get over it and go on to find the love you deserve.
2007-05-24 19:42:59 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Actually, you two should have spoken about the kind of relationship each of you was looking for, before starting to hang out together; so that you would have known from the very beginning if you were on the same page; since you haven't done so, though, do it now: tell her about your feelings and intention to move one step further. Being straightforward is always the best way to be in any type of relationship. Good luck;)
2007-05-24 19:52:02 · answer #2 · answered by Love_my_Cornish_Knight❤️ 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
If she is indicating to you that she does not want to settle down right now, then respect her feelings. Let her know, once and only once, that you realize that she is not ready to settle into a committed relationship right now, but when she is ready to settle down a bit, you would like the opportunity to show her what you have to offer. Tell her that in the meantime, you would like to see her occasionally, so that you can get to know each other better.
In the meantime, just date as usual. You will have already made yourself clear to her. The next move will be up to her.
2007-05-24 19:47:05 · answer #3 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are connecting, is she? Ask her how she feels about you. If she wants a one-on-one relationship with you? If she say no, then date others. You are so typical of people who fall in love easily, You need to look at what you are getting from her emotionally, not what you are giving. Don't just find a woman and fall in love so quickly. Put yourself on a pedestal and give her enough room to climb up to get her prize, YOU!
2007-05-24 19:43:14 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
no one should suffer from this kind of thing, besides, thats wht of the women do nowadays, keeping herself available for more options out there and yet keep a guy as a spare...so, think about it, are you a spare to her? ask her out loud already what she's thinking about u, rather than playing guessing game.
u have a life too, u know? and please dont date others to keep yourself distracted, seriously look for someone, love her and let her love you back, feel the love, rather than filling in the hole, k?
hope that helps...all the best! :)
2007-05-24 20:01:54 · answer #5 · answered by curious_vanila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well no matter what you need to talk to her. if your connection is as strong as you say then it can only help. tell her your history with the last girl so she understands where you are coming from and why you are scared and weary, and explain to her that you don't want to scare her but you have a right to feel the way you do and she has a right to know why. she may surprise you and understand more than you think she will. talking can only make you stronger.
2007-05-24 19:48:15 · answer #6 · answered by Lindsey P 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
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2016-10-06 00:38:57 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋