My uncles aren't liked by my family much. My dad likes them (his brothers), but my mom has forbidden them from contacting us or for my father to see them for now. (Legal fiasco, misunderstandings, jail time, fights over money, etc.)
I love my one uncle (but not the other), and I miss him.
So do I invite both uncles, just the uncle I like (even if it hurts the feelings of the other one when he finds out), or neither of the uncles, making my mom happy?
The wedding is in October and will just be close friends and family.
2007-05-24 19:20:21 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I think you should invite both and tell your mom that they will be there just for the wedding.
They are part of your family and i think it would be disrespectful not to invite them.....Plus they would be hurt too,like nobody cares about them.....Your mom is a grown up ,i'm sure she can handle them just for one day.
2007-05-24 19:27:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should do what you want, however keep in mind that disagreements and/or arguments or worse, could ruin the day.
Even moms can be wrong sometimes, so if you want the one uncle there, invite him. Invite both if you feel you should. (For what it's worth, I'd invite both). Your father would probably be pleased to see them, and perhaps your mother will see a better side of them.
Congratulations on your wedding.
2007-05-25 12:01:32 · answer #2 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your marriage is the start of your life ON YOUR OWN, making decisions for what's best for your new family. You can't start out by making everyone else happy. I would invite exactly who YOU want to invite that will make you happiest and feel the most loved on that day. That day is about celebrating the love you and your fiance have found. If your Mom can't celebrate that with your uncle there, then that is very sad on her part. She should be mature enough to put your happiness above her pettiness....on that day at least!
2007-05-25 02:37:58 · answer #3 · answered by bestadvicechick 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is your wedding. You should invite those you care about who you want there to celebrate this special day. As for your mother, she needs to put her differences aside for one day. This is YOUR day not hers or anyone elses. If you want to invite one uncle then invite him. I don't think much love will be lost by the other uncle if he isn't invited, I'm sure he may already know that you don't care for him much. Again....keep in mind this is YOUR day. Do what will make YOU happy, not anyone else.
Congratulations by the way : )
2007-05-25 02:25:26 · answer #4 · answered by glittereyedg 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's your wedding. If your mom cannot set aside her feelings for your big day, she has the problem, NOT you. You should invite the people you truly want to be there.
That said, you also don't want chaos at your wedding/reception. Talk to both your uncle and your mother and explain how you feel and that for that day, even if they don't speak to each other, this is how you feel. As far as not inviting the other uncle, again that's your choice. have who you want to be there
2007-05-25 04:30:06 · answer #5 · answered by lmbecd 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Been there, and made the wrong decision. I've always regretted it.
Time to be an adult and invite who YOU want, despite any protestations. Invite those you'd like to attend. If mom has problems, tell her to see a therapist and work out her anger and resentments. If she refuses to show, tell her she's lost a daughter for all times and she has 24 hours to accept your decision or else she can mope for all the years she won't see you. She has NO right to tell you who to marry and who to invite, end of discussion. She's a control freek!~
Wish I heard that advice myself. Never invited one aunt and one uncle I always wanted to have at the wedding, because mom said it would upset all the other brothers and sisters. MY fault for being unable to stand UP to her.
I DID many years later and have dumped her for good!
2007-05-25 02:31:44 · answer #6 · answered by Legandivori 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its YOUR day, not your monms, so invite whoever you want to invite, if she doesnt like them she can stay home. I wouldnt worry about hurting the other uncles feelings if he knows you dont like him already. Send him a card or something letting him know you are getting married but not an invitation
2007-05-25 02:32:57 · answer #7 · answered by megleg88 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you have a good relationship with your mother, why not tell her how happy it would make you to have your uncle (either or both) at your wedding. It's your day, after all, and your feelings should be more important than any family problems.
2007-05-25 02:27:09 · answer #8 · answered by Julia D 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have a similar dilemma. My aunt is the same way in my family but despite that the whole family hates her, I plan to invite her too because she is family and that is a once in a lifetime day we will not be able to get back in our lives to come and she shouldn't miss out because of all the foolishness. I say invite both of them and ask EVERYONE to be cordial because it is all about you this is YOUR DAY.
2007-05-25 11:09:26 · answer #9 · answered by OFFICIALLY MRS. HOWARD! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Invite whoever YOU want to. So invite the uncle you love and not the one you don't like.
2007-05-25 11:15:33 · answer #10 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋