We were asked by his aunt to go see her back in Feb. while she was still coherient. Today he left to go see her in the hospital sad and crying while she is near death and incoherint. Who besides me thinks this is so wrong. He left me at home and said "I'm going to see my grandma" I gave him 2 weekends back in Feb. for us to go see her and he didn't bother giving me an answer.
I want to boycott the funeral and let him go by himself. After all she'll be dead anyway. Any advice?
2007-05-24 18:23:22 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
You are all so right, but I'm pissed. What's colder?
When someone is dying are you going not support them even if you don't know what to say.
Being there to hold their hand or say thanks for being there for me while I was young I would think means more than showing up while you are drugged up and not even know who's in the room.
2007-05-24 18:36:39 · update #1
Sarabea thank you, It is very hard on me; for one I loved her and two we have been married longer than 5 mins. for 25 years. He left without me, I madder than a hornet.
2007-05-24 18:46:39 · update #2
When my mother-in-law was in the last stages of the cancer that she fought for 3years, my then husband, her baby son, actually saw less of her than before she got sick. I don't think he saw her more than once in the last two months she was dying. He couldn't. He couldn't bear the pain.
People deal with grief in a variety of ways, it sounds like your husband is doing just that. It also sounds like you are also in pain, and her funeral will give you an opportunity to get a handle on that. Don't do stupid things out of anger, life is too short. Give yourself and your husband a break. I'm sorry for your loss.
2007-05-24 19:02:23 · answer #1 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's not wrong. Maybe your husband is having trouble coping. Maybe back in Feb. he wasn't ready and maybe he want sto remember his grandma the way she used to be and sick and nearing death. It's not about giving him 2 weekends and you didn't get an answer. It's not that easy to have to face life and seeing you grandma in a dying state. Boycotting the funeral is childish and selfish. As his wife, you should be there for him whether or not he wants you to go with him or not. He may or may not want to go to the funeral. he may want to go alone because he doesn't want you to see him in an emotional disarray. He may ask you to go so he can have his support system there. You need to be his rock during this time and verbalize that you are there for him to support him in whatever he needs. Be a supportive wife not a vengeful wife.
2007-05-24 18:36:17 · answer #2 · answered by sieni32 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well obviously this situation is very hard for him. My advice is be very supportive to him. This is one of those things that can ruin a relationship. your partner needs to know(or at least think) that you care. Boycotting the funeral can possibly turn him and his family against you. He may never look at you the same and in the long run he might return that favor to you. Ride it out with him your husband is supposed to be like your partner in crime. you are supposed to be there no matter what. whether you want to or not. bite your tongue and grind your teeth if you have to, if you feel that you cant do that for him than i suggest that you find another partner that you ride or die for. cuz hes not the one.
2007-05-24 18:37:44 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you know what don't listen to all the other people I'm sure this is hard for you to. I just lost my grandad and everyone deals with deal in there own way. my be your husband couldn't face his dieing grandmother but it would be sad for her because she won't remember her grandsons vist. But you should go to the funeral because you may not want to go now but years down the track you may wished you when. Just think about and talk to your husband and you will come to a good descion
2007-05-24 18:39:27 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is one of the most selfish things that I have eve heard anyone say. That is your husband. He is losing a family member. It is your duty to be there to support him. It is not your right to determine what he should and should not do in that situation. Nor should he tell you. Everyone handles illness and death very differently. If you love him you will respect his feelings and be there for him.
2007-05-24 18:29:58 · answer #5 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must remember that this is his grandma and it is hurting him inside. You must be more supportive of him now. He's not thinking straight and he needs your understanding. Perhaps when he tells you he's going to see his grandmother just tell him you are going with him. Also you may want to go on your own sometimes. Keep your husband and his family in your prayers.
God Bless
2007-05-24 18:38:20 · answer #6 · answered by tony 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is the most selfish thing i have heard in a long time. He may have put off the visit because it deep down would have been very difficult. He delt with it differently then you. Yes it sucks he didnt go sooner but he did eventually go and it was sad for him. Why dont you be a caring person and be there for him. And your "she'll be dead anyway" comment was cold and emotionless. Grow up and stop being a self centered b_____!
2007-05-24 18:29:17 · answer #7 · answered by bighelp 3 · 1⤊ 2⤋
i think of that those while going who're scared and choose convenience will see what ever they opt to be certain a lot comparable to my nan waited and waited for my uncle her son to reach from an prolonged practice adventure on mothers day to be certain her.She pronounced carry me son and died he meant extra to her than an angel.while a individual is going into anaphylaxis ask your self they do no longer opt to die however the edge impacts of the organs all attempting to such down is drawing near doom and then a huge sense of calm on an identical time as anybody else remains in panic.perhaps organs shutting down continuously provide the visual allure of peace and calm.
2016-11-05 08:01:51 · answer #8 · answered by andry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you really serious? Let him deal with his grandmother's death in his way. Not everyone is on the same schedule when it comes to a loved one dying. He needs to do what he needs to do--not what you need him to do. Man, if my spouse didn't come to my grandmother's funeral as payback for me not listening to what he told me to do! That would be the end of our relationship.
2007-05-24 18:31:56 · answer #9 · answered by blooming chamomile 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Why so harsh? It is devastating to lose a loved one. Let him grieve in peace and be the supporting wife that you are supposed to be. One day you may need the same favor from him...
2007-05-24 18:27:25 · answer #10 · answered by Katie 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋