Should i wait and see or should i leave now?

Question

My boyfriend and i have been together for over a year now. I've told my parents about him and he's met most of my family. I met his family too recently. When i asked him, about marriage, and the fact that i want to be engaged when i am 28-29, he said to me, that he loves me and wants to be with me forever and is happy the way things are right now. But in terms of marriage, when he thinks about it, he's fine. But the minute he thinks about it seriously, he gets freaked out. He told me that at this point in life, he feels that he doesn't want to get married...but he may or may not change in the future, only time will tell. I'm 25 and he is 26, should i wait or should i leave?

Just a general comment: He promised me that if he was to marry, then it would be me.
He also told me a few days earlier, that maybe he is like this, coz his work/financial situation isn't great.

Answer 1

If he truly meant what he says, that he wants to be with you forever then he wouldnt be freaking out. He is saying one thing but acting another way. Watch his actions not his words.
I would tell him since it is your goal to get engaged by 28 or 29 that you are going to date other men and hopefully find someone who values you enough to dedicate their entire life to you and not be freaked out about it. Then do it.

Answer 2

I think you should be patient. If you truly love him, then understand his fear. Life isn't about getting to a destination, at 28-29, or any age. It is about the journey. If you love having him in your life everyday, then that is what is important. You have only been together for a year, but are in a hurry to make the "forever" commitment. A 30-40-50-60+ year commitment is worth a little more time to be certain. Plus, if he is the one, you will look back and 1 extra year will seem like the blink of an eye. If he is not, you will be so glad you waited, and figured that out~

Answer 3

A year is not a huge amount of time but if you both really love each other, are you willing to wait another year? He seems to be ok with the marriage thing, but maybe not getting married right now. It's up to you as to whether you are happy as you are now and willing to wait to see if comes around to the marriage thing in 6-12 months.

Answer 4

Getting freaked out is a sure sign that he's not sure he wants to get married...it could be for many reasons from he's scared or waiting for someone else. He likes the way things are because he's somewhat in control and doesn't want to change that til whenever he's ready to which could be soon or many years from now. Bottom line, he isn't ready for a serious committed relationship if he can't communicate to you about your future together without freaking out. He's just not ready. It's up to you how long you want to wait for him to come around...if he even does.

Answer 5

Me?......I would not even be in your shoes. But, since you ask, here goes.........start formulating plans to start a new life without him. See, darlin' I don't have sex outside of marriage. If a guy cares enough about me to want to have sex with me, then he won't be reluctant to go thru first with the weddin' plans. There won't be any sex until after the weddin.' If you don't trust your own self, since you are accustom to having casual sex, then don't be alone with a guy, just don't let it happen. Don't get into heavy petting and makin' out. It cheapens the sexual act.
I would never move in with a guy and then expect him to propose to me. It's the other way around. You make plans to marry; get married, then move in together. So, don't get upset. Leave. Learn some important lessons from the experience and thank God you're not pregnant or have any his children.

Answer 6

I say wait ya'll both have meet each others family ya'll love each other and only time can tell like you said so if you leave you will never know and there is no need to rush into a marriage. Take the time to get to know the person a lil more before you try and jump into a marriage...

Answer 7

Sounds to me like your boyfriend is afraid of committment and he gets cold feet every time the subject comes up. Marriage is all about committment. A promise to love that one special someone for the rest of your life. You deserve that promise and committment from him. Instead of his maybe, maybe not indecision. But, only you can decide if you should wait and see or leave now. It's your heart that's involved. Listen to your heart.

Answer 8

hey since u came this long n according to u the both of u love each other truly then i think u can always convince him baby, seriously if u really luv u then this is a test for your love, so go ahead n talk to him or make him marry u yaar, i mean god gave girls a lot of charm to seduce guys!!!(lol...) so wat r u waiting for ???
u do love him right! so i think u wil win, dont worry just seduce him then i bet he wil come behind u to marry him n hey nothing wrong in doing this to him coz u love him.
well some guys get insane when it comes to marraige even though they love the girl to death(nothing abnormal with your boy friend), here is the toughest test for the girl then, so i think its all in your hands now, make him realise how precious u r to him, n make him understand your value, i dont think u should let go off him easily i mean dont give up so easily,afterall u love him so u can do anything for him right,so go ahead n all the very best!!!(i hope i could instill some confidence in u )

Answer 9

If you are interested in getting married and having children, I suggest that you move on now. He was honest with you. Take it at face value. Don't think that you can change his mind, because that will not happen. Only he can make that decision, and there is nothing in the world that you can do to make him think differently. If you try you are just fooling yourself. Take it from someone that has been there.

Answer 10

If you love him you should wait for him maybe he wants to marry you but just isn't ready right now give him time. And good luck with him. Just don't push him It might make him run away.