we both work fulltime and equally pay the bills.He has no "yardwork" to do as we live in a condo.He gives me a hard time when i ask him to help me get groceries and says it does not take 2 of us to shop.He would never think to throw in a load of laundry(he knows how). I have to "remind" him just to take the trash out like 3 or 4 times(i even put it by the door)then he will say well u can do it too.Now i do most of the shopping,cleaning,laundry,cooking ect.I even pick his kid up(1st marrage) from school and bring him to our house whenever i can.To make matters worse he leaves his mess(dishes,clothes,ect) laying around the house.I don't know why he does this as he will complain when he feels the house is dirty but will leave his stuff laying round for days.
2007-05-24 12:42:43 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Tell him to get another job. Because if it continues you will leave your job and become a house wife.
2007-05-24 12:49:06 · answer #1 · answered by Sunset 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do only what it takes for you to live, not his part. when he goes to get clean laundry and there is none, he will complain right? tell him you didn't have time to do his too. when he expects you to pick up the kid, just say oops, i was so busy i forgot. when you go groc. shopping, buy only what you like and cook only for yourself, when he asks, say well i was so busy i just barely managed to fix my own dinner. of course you will have to keep doing the cleaning, because i beleive that the dust could get a foot thick and cobwebs hang from ceiling to floor and a man would not dust nor sweep down a cobweb.(sorry, this is from experience.) 2 yrs ago i was cutting wood for winter,taking care of three kids all the housework and taking care of my ill mother (cooking,cleaning,etc....) while he sat on the couch and complained about everything.--then a man came along who started to take an interest in me, the person, not the mom/cook/woodcutter/maid/wife, etc. etc.---I did not have an affair, but it made him appreciate what he had. now, he at least does the outside work, a few dishes once in a while and some laundry. it was a hard lesson for him
2007-05-24 13:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by angel1 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
try this. I'm not sure if it will work or if this is already how it goes, but i just took psychology and we did a unit on builders and barriers of communication. next tI'me you want him to do a load of laundry say to him nicely " hey honey do you think you could maybe help me out? could you do a load of laundry for me? it would really help me out and id appreciate it so much" my teacher actually suggested that exact example. im not sure what kind of person he is or how he personally will react to that, but from a psychological stand point, it may work. when he realizes that you want his help, not so much you 'badgering' him about it all the time he may assist. although i understand you aren't badgering that is probably how he sees it. i hope this helps =/
2007-05-24 12:58:18 · answer #3 · answered by wicked_little_lie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should sit together and talk this over calmly. Tell him how you feel - what you said here. Discuss what you guys can do so neither of you feel overloaded.
If it seems like he isn't listening - tell him this is serious and that he's right it doesn't take 2 to shop- so maybe he should try it once in a while. Tell him that you both work and you feel just as exhausted as him. Remeber talk calmly.
2007-05-24 12:49:32 · answer #4 · answered by KG 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Put all the stuff that he leaves laying around the house, on his side of the bed, everyday. Tell him that, whoever cooks, the other has to clean up. Don't wash his clothes, let him do his own.
2007-05-24 12:48:11 · answer #5 · answered by All Natural Honey 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
heres a hint when the kids are asleep then ry to do those chores with him. wear something skimpy and provocative and do little things like bend over in front of him and show a little skin. i know may sound not very romantic but a guy likes that and it seems thats what he would need is some motovation. and afterwards he will reward you and it'll make him look forward to helping out around the house more often.
2007-05-24 13:29:24 · answer #6 · answered by james_stailey@sbcglobal.net 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
File for divorce - if you want to continue nagging your husband and have power and control over him.
He obviously does not perform these things due to your persistent nagging. He also no longer feels appreciated or respected due to your control and micromanaging. There is no room for nagging in a Christ centered marriage.
If you can drop the nagging and communicate with your husband as an equal, perhaps he will take care of these obligations on his own accord.
2007-05-24 12:52:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that if he helps you with the housework you will help him in small ways...you know what I mean...a little more fun in the bedroom, that kind of thing. Sometimes a man is afraid to do housework because he feels like his masculinity is threatened; you must assure him that is not the case by reinforcing his masculinity when you expect him to do housework.
2007-05-24 12:47:35 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
yah like starbucks 2007 said...little by little, just stop doing the stuff you do. Not the IMPORTANT stuff, just the stuff that he can live without. Make dinner for yourself, wash your own stuff, and shop for one. May sound mean and i admit it may be but you cant take what hes throwing at you. (or more specifically, what hes letting you throw at yourself)
2007-05-24 13:23:07 · answer #9 · answered by Tangerine 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
GO ON STRIKE!!!
Thats what I do!
When no one will help out in my house...I stop doing laundry...stop making dinner...stop doing the dishes...
Let him fend for himself...when he gets hungry enough he'll eat...when he wants clean clothes..he'll wash them...
Its hard to...but I am telling you...GO ON STRIKE!
2007-05-24 12:47:29 · answer #10 · answered by Starbucks2007 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋