Ex thinks he's the victim?

Question

Has anyone ever been with someone before that you cared for them a lot within the relationship and you did all that you could have possibly done for that person, but all they ever gave you was disappointment and heart ache? And after the break up the ex acts like he was the victim throughout the relationship? As if after ending the relationship with you, it made his life much easier (making you feel like you were the problem or worthless)? Wow... I never thought he would stoop that low. Is this a form of mind games? emotional abuse?

Actually he was the one that broke up with me, well he didn't even break up with me, he just ignored me completely making me wonder and go crazy thinking about what's wrong with him and if he's okay. Eventually I got over it and figured it was done and over with. But I just heard through some close friends that hes going around telling people that "Life is so much better without me", when for so many years I took all the crap and never ever nagged a single word. No, in my heart I know that I dont have to actually sit and try to evaluate what I might have done wrong, because I know in my gut I didn't do a single thing to hurt him.

Answer 1

Girl im there right now...Im the bad person now, he is the good guy...Mine was very emotionally abusive and the things he is doing now still are and extrememly controlling...
Tell your ex, boohoo and find a real man, he isnt worth your time.... im taking time off....

Answer 2

Well, actually u make a good point about that.However, that thing that made him feel that way was the need to give him everything.See guys don't like girls to give them everything in the beginning of the relatioship what he wanted was to find you interesting and feel as though you were playing hard to get. Once a guy chases after a girl a lot he will feel as though he has a reward or something special.See it's not good to give him everything even though many women are sweet and loving and like to cater to there guy as a way to help support him that's not the case in getting him to stay at the beginning or as the relationship progress. I thought the same thing you were thought about keeping a man until i read the book Love Smart by Dr.phil.See once you know how a man thinks you can have him to do for you more and himself.Good Luck!

Answer 3

Yep !!!
And you know what... THEY'RE right !!!
They ARE the victims..... of stupidity !!!!
Claiming 'victim' is anothing way of trying
to control the situation by making the other
person feel guilty.
And you SHOULD feel GUILTY...... guilty
of trying for so long to have a relationship
that was right.
People like the ex do not want to except
responsibility for their actions so they tranfer
the blame and guilt over to someone else.
Don't let it get to you...next time the ex wants
to control your emotions, tell'um to GET A LIFE !!!!

Answer 4

Yes i've been in a similar situation. I was dating a guy who was basically a drug addict behind my back, (and often right in front of me) he put me through hell.. emotionally physicall and mentally abused me.. and he was literally.. insane.. yet he made me feel like I was crazy..

Once we broke up (he tried throwing me in the looney bin so i dumped him finally).. he wrote "blogs" on myspace about how I was such a burden, and I was insane, and I wasn't worth it..

His angle was that I put him through hell because I nagged him about doing drugs, and hanging out with drug addicts, and selling drugs..

Basically you have to know that in reality.. he's wrong.. You know what really happened in the relationship, let him think what he wants. If thats what he has to do to cope. If you know you weren't a burden, and you know you did him no harm, then also know that you are the bigger person in the end ..

Answer 5

I went out with a guy like that.
No matter what was going on in my life (mum having cancer) his problems were always worse (such as people in school teasing him over stupid stuff.) He would call at all hours to whine about stuff like that and I would talk to him, give him advice and help him through it. In the end I was so exhausted being drained emotionally and physically I broke up with him. He continued to call my house begging me to take him back (I declined) then he asked me to help him study for finals (I also declined.) He then blamed me for him failing his exams, blamed me for his subsequent failed relationships (apparently I had treated him so badly he now treated girls badly to compensate - WHATEVER!!) and continued to call my house every couple of weeks for no apparent reason. ANYWAY, I just kept ignoring him and he eventually went away. Guys like that are such losers they are not worth your time!!!

Answer 6

Mind games. He's trying to make you feel guilty. Don't let him. You know what you are like and the things you did for him. Don't play into his games.He just doesn't want to accept responsibility for his part in the breakup.

Answer 7

Yeah, my sister's first husband was like this. He was a self-absorbed jackass before he married her. It didn't get better.

It is mind games, but the goal is to not have anything more to do with him. In her case, they had no kids, so once the divorce was over, no contact.

Answer 8

some men just love feeling sorry 4 themselves-even if the breakup was their fault in the 1st place..its an attention seeking thing! i was in that situation n i was the 1 who was hurt but i just held my head up high n didnt let it show..u b stronger than him, just ignore him n move on.. u deserve better.

Answer 9

It's his consciousness, what he believes, it's his truth. It's not abuse or a mind game, he really believes it. He could be saying it to make you feel guilty to manipulate you BUT seriously, who cares what he thinks at this point? Take care of you.

Answer 10

Yeah he's definitely faking. He knows he's crap with out you. just give it some time before he comes crawling back and you can shove this in his face.