My dad is only 61 and is dying of emphysema, he and my 13yr old son are extremely close, and sometimes I think my son takes on the role of making sure his grandfather is ok.
I know it's not going to be long, how do I prepare him for this?
2007-05-24 10:53:57 · 14 answers · asked by tamilynn 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
you need to sit him down and just explain that Grandpa is going to a better place and he is out of pain now and that death happens to everyone...its a natural part of life and it's nothing to be afraid of. Tell him that his grandfather is in a better place and so long as he remembers him he will never really be gone from his life.
2007-05-24 10:58:31 · answer #1 · answered by Jack 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That's a good question, i just heard kids start the understanding of death about at twelve, so it's good time for your son to understand the situation.
Maybe you have to explain him that his grandfather have already lived a life and now his body is tired, exhausted, and migth not be around for a long time.
You migth take him to talk to the doctor, so he can explain what is happening with his grandfather, and why is it being so painful for him to be alive, and why is his body giving up.
You can help him a lot if you encourage him to go to your church, to be closer to god or your religion, cause faith is always the only thing that can help you trougth an strong suffer like that.
Good luck.
2007-05-24 18:06:06 · answer #2 · answered by Popocatepetl 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Talk with him openly about grandpa's illness and the process of it. Assure him that grandpa is ready and you all are doing as much possible to keep him comfortable. Explain death as a natural, non-painful process. He is 13 and can handle some honest info. After your brief intro on the subject allow your son to lead the conversation. He may want to ask questions right away or he may need a little time to digest it. Allow him to take the lead here.
Importantly allow him to see his grandfather. If grandpa is in a hospital explain to your son before hand what machines he can expect to see so he won't be shocked. But do take him to see grandpa.. children need closure as well. This is VERY important that he see grandpa, even if he looks very sick.
If you want, call your local hospice as they usually have some wonderful resources for helping children prepare for and deal with a death. It is a painful process for you guys, but with some honest communication it can help.
2007-05-24 18:00:39 · answer #3 · answered by scottishduffy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am sorry this is happening. It will not be easy for you or your son. I am afraid all I can suggest is sitting your son down and telling him that you have serious news, and tell him the truth. Hold his hand, tell him you love him, that there is no explanation why bad things happen, but they just do, and that your dad always loved your son and would want him to live a good and honorable life and to live well, to make him proud. If you believe in God and heaven, you can tell him that your father is going to a very good place where he will forever be at peace. Sorry, thats the best I can do. I wish there were an easy way, but there isn't. I wish you and your son and your dad all the best, peace.
2007-05-24 18:00:03 · answer #4 · answered by jxt299 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with most of the other answers. Talking to your son and being honest is very important. He is at a difficult age now, and he needs to understand it is a natural thing for people to be born, to grow and to die.
Perhaps if your father could talk to him directly it would be good. Hearing from his grandpa that it's OK will probably help your son to deal with it later on. Maybe if he has closure with your dad and if your dad reassures him that this is inevitable he will be better off. Good luck!
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(I was 14 when my favorite grandpa died of the same thing. And I wasn't told of his death because I was in summer camp when it happened. I found out by accident when someone gave my mother her condolences....and I realized what had happened! Major shock!)
The good thing was his illness was very long, so I was able to spend time with him (short visits) and was able to understand the end would come sooner or later.
2007-05-24 18:13:06 · answer #5 · answered by Nena S 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The kid will get over it... prepare yourself. Make sure you make it clear though that death is a natural part of life. It sounds bad but if you've had a pet that died or anything, just tell him that its sorta the same thing. Sometimes bad things happen to people but we can make ourselves feel better about it by making everyone around us feel good about life. So that means being nice to people and treating others well even when you aren't happy with them... having an outlet for those feelings of sadness... something that makes you feel good about yourself, really helps.
2007-05-24 17:59:46 · answer #6 · answered by Phil C 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how u are feeling! And the only way to break it to ur son is to! Sit him down and tell him what going on! tell him grandad is very sick and there a chance he might leave us soon! tell him to cherish his grandfather last fews days, weeks or months! its easier to do it that way! I totally understand cause i lost my grandfather at 13 myself! He was very close to me! i loved him more then ever! Tell ur son that he should alwayys remember the good thing that his grandfather did for him or the time they have spent together!
2007-05-24 19:27:19 · answer #7 · answered by cutie 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell him that death is a part of life, my grandfather died when i was 12 so i can relate no one that ever died in my family before so i didn't know what was going on my mother was crying and i didn't know what had happened!! So just tell him set him down and tell him he is old anufff to understand
2007-05-24 18:05:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You must be honest with the boy...you must tell him, that poor grampa has an illness that will ultimately take his life...and that not to let on...and to always give grampa hope, that he is going to make it...Also, if you are a Christian,...and even if you are not,...Pray with your boy, to God, through Jesus, for your dad's comfort, and to give you both the strength you need to stand by grampa's side while he is going through this...the boy needs to know, that this is going to make him a man,...and that his strength is needed for you also. God Bless dear, and I wish you all three, the very best, and Pray that your father doesn't suffer. XX
2007-05-24 18:00:11 · answer #9 · answered by MotherKittyKat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Im really sorry this is happening. But make sure that ur son understands that heis out of the pain and suffering. I hope you guys will get threw this
2007-05-24 18:05:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋