Can someone help me with my Mother? This is really serious, and no, I'm not a kid............................

Question

My Mom lives with us and she suffers from either dementia or alzheimers. She has occasions to where she thinks things are happening, such as we're moving, and has been known to venture outside while we're asleep, around 4 in the morning. My stress level is so high that I feel like hitting my head against a brick wall. This morning she made some statement for me to call her if the I needed help with the kids, and my kids are grown. I've told her Dr. and he doesn't have much of an idea as to what's up. I love her, but sometimes I feel like this is going to literally drive me crazy. Any suggestions? We don't want to put her in a nursing home.

It's not that I don't care. My Mom & Dad split up (after 40 yrs of a bad marriage) & she came to live w/my husband and me, our choice. I have 2 brothers & they don't even call her on her birthday or Mother's Day. I am just frustrated & worried. She's already on Aricept & Zyprexa, among other meds. She's supposed to be undergoing an MRI (to rule out a stroke) and the Dr. mentioned a geriatric eval. but she'd be there for 2 weeks, and my husband's afraid that they'd find a way to do some sort unvoluntary commitment to a home.

Answer 1

This happened to my grandfather. It was a blockage to the artery to his brain that caused the same symptoms as you are describing.

Eventually may parents had to find an assisted living home for him. It was far more "homey" than a nursing home, and he had some level of independence, but there was constant care.

They came to this conculsion when they found him pouring him a tall glass of cleaning fluid instead of OJ. He came to our home for holiday's, or even just Sunday dinner.

Good Luck

Answer 2

Hello family in need. I'm a nurse that works long term care for the elderly. I understand not wanting to use a nursing home although in time that might be the only option. But as for now. Have the doctor do a medication review see if something new might be causing the confusion. Also there are new meds out for alzheimers they are Aricept and Namenda they both work well in most cases. If you need help check with Home Health and or the DHS. As for getting up and going outside at night, Wal-Mart sales the simple to install alarms that fit in the upper corner of a door or window. we use them at the home I work for. I hope this helps.

Answer 3

My gran aunt has Alzheimers. She lived not too far from us and was very independent before she became sick. She would disappear into the city for hours and we wouldn't be able to find her. A few times she went into cafes and restaurants and became faint and even fell a few times and they had to call ambulances for her. When she was taken to hospital she manahed to escape and somehow make it back to her house over 20 miles away. My family and I tried to take her in but she was stubborn and wouldn't go. (She grew up in an industrial school and never liked to be without her independence.) Anyway, she eventually got so bad and was causing my mum so much stress (who has cancer) that we had no option but to put her into a home where she can be looked after 24/7. It was a difficult decision to make but in the long term it was the right one. My mum is now in remission and knowing that her aunt is being cared for properly has helped lower her blood pressure and taken such a weight off all our minds. What I'm saying is that even though you may not want to, consider a home or at least a carer to help you out some days with your mom. Good luck.

Answer 4

I am sorry for your troubles. Your mom needs to find antoher doctor. She obviously has some time of dementia and/or Alzheimer's. Check local organizations in your area for some help. Call your mom's insurance to see if you can possibly get someone to come to your home to help out. Good luck

Answer 5

First off GET A NEW DOCTOR. The one you have sounds like he doesnt care. She needs to be thoroughly checked.
You can buy door alarms that go off when a door is opened. Look into that. They are not expensive.

Do some research on your own also besides taking her to a new Dr. Look up all you can on the medical conditions you mentioned and see what you can learn to be supportive of her condition (even if its not her problem it could benefit you on how to deal with these kinds of symptoms). Then you can learn how to respond to things she says and does.

Answer 6

first - i'd find a better doc who specializes in geriatric medicine. hers sounds like a quack. there are nursing organizations that offer overnnight home health. look into one of those. her ins may cover it and it would give you peace of mind.
EDIT-read your added comments. the doc's can not force her into a home no matter what.i don't know what good an evaluation would do and why would it take 2 weeks? definately see a new doc. good luck.

Answer 7

You may be able to ask hospice if they can send a home healthcare worker to help you out.Also have other family members to take her once in a while for a weekend or maybe a week to give you a break.A nursing home may eventually be ineviteble.

Answer 8

tough it out that's your mother if it was you she would do the same. a mother takes care and does what ever she can for her child until she is not able to anymore. now it's a daughter turn to return the same love to her mother. it's not a favor is there any more siblings that could help you out sometime. give you a break hey even a mother needs a break sometime.

Answer 9

Take her to another dr. who knows something about alzheimers and dementia. My uncle was recently diagnosed with Alzheimers and they do have meds that slow down the process.

Answer 10

my suggestion is to find a doctor that deals with alzheimers and have her tested . and if it is that you have a long row to hoe if you dont want her in a nursing home . my heart goes out to you and your family . put dead bolts on the doors this should stop those early morning strolls.