Adoption or legal name change?

Question

I was wondering if it would be easier to have my husband adopt my daughter or just legally change her last name to his.

Her biological father hasn't had anything to do with her since she was born and his name isn't on her birth certificate. She currently has my maiden name.

To do either without having to have his permission would I have to file abadonment against him or not?

Please, I want real helpful answers.

I asked this question on another site and all I got was blamed for my situation and told that paternity had to be established before I could do anything.

Also, my daughter was born in Missouri and her bio-father lives there. When she was 7-months-old we moved to Iowa. How does that affect what I want to do?

Answer 1

It really depends on what state you live in. We have just been through an adoption, so I have some information -- at least from my state. Do the 'net research -- that is the safest best. Call an attorney that might do a free consultation.

There is a huge difference between changing her name and legally adopting her. God forbid something to happen to you, but if it did, you would want to make sure that he LEGALLY can take care of her. I am not sure that just changing her name would be adequate. In my opinion, I would go through with the adoption. It sounds like he is already raising her as his own anyway.

As for the abandonment and the other issues, you are going to have to do the research. Check into something called the PUTATIVE FATHER REGISTRY, and look at the details for your state. It might give you some help.

If you are serious about this, and have any other questions, you can email them to me. I will help all that I can. I know that this is a frustrating situation, so please contact me if you need help.

[e-mail]

Answer 2

Post an ad in the paper saying that you are looking for the biological father and the reason why. If he doesn't respond to the ad, legally, you have the right to proceed in any way you like. That's the easiest option. Judging by his lack of communication with his daughter, it's pretty clear he doesn't read the paper either so you're probably safe.

If you just change the name, your husband's legal rights are fewer than if he adopts her. It's political paperwork at the end of the day but if you trust this man enough to adopt your daughter, I say go for it. If you are only 98% sure, just change her name and file for sole custody of her. That way if he power trips and he takes her, it'll be kidnapping and you'll be better off. Things like this are tricky so do your research before getting started. But if you're even considering it, he must be quite a gem! :-)

Answer 3

A legal name change would be easier and less expensive, but your husband would not have rights as her father. If something were to happen to you, the courts would probably look your family members to care for her.

You would still have to file abandonment papers because if the biological father should decide one day that he wants involvement in her life or even partial custody, all he would need is a DNA test to prove paternity to contest your and your husband's sole custody of her. This may vary state to state, so I would ask a reputable attorney in your area to be sure.

Answer 4

Adoption takes a while I should know it took forever for it to be finalized but if your daughters father is willing to give up his right then it will take time but it will get done, but I think that it would be better to just get her name changed legally...