why do you get some people on answers that condesend you, are sarcastic to you and feed into your problems?

Question

when you suffer with depression and psychological problems, and choose to ask questions about it on answers?

they say ' cheers up mate' and condescend you, telling you to ' go out to the park'
' go to the pubs mate or the clubs mate' and all this garbage..
im a bpd sufferer, im 29 and had it since 15. ive battled serious depressions and traumas for a long time.
i dont want to be felt sorry for!! or to be treated like a charity case....like ' lets be friends with you because we feel sorry for you crap'!!
no, i dont want it, and will reject it everytime. im a person who has alot of ambitions in life that i want to achieve..im serious about my life.
i want to emigrate from england, to the us or australia or can..i feel passionate about these goals. i wanna go away and build a new life for myself...put distance between me and the uk
i want to find the partner im looking for, the girl of my preferance. and all that people can do is grate on you, condesend you, patronise you

and tell you to go phone the samaritans.
or go for a day out! or talk to somebody!
i dont want this, i want more than this!
iwant my dreams and hopes to be taken
seriously!
i dont just wanna, go to a club or a park
be happy in the uk and accept it,
because this is not what i want!! i wanna go
far away from here and build a new life
with the girl i want. but i no its going to
be difficult because i do wait for therapy
have deep depressions and have bpd. so my dreams
and ambitions are on hold

i have very low self esteem, get very deep depressions and i worry constantly how im going to achieve my ambitions in life..
right now it feels that im to distant and there unachievable and ill never reach them

i feel stuck and trapped

Answer 1

Repeat to yourself: "I, and only I, can make it happen. I may need the help of others and shall gratefully accept their help when freely offered, but only if it furthers my goals."

So what if some people are condescending? Ignore them if they aren't helping you achieve your goals. Your goals seem pretty clear-cut, which is more than most people can figure out over a life-time.

Their condenscension or cruelty is their problem. Don't make it yours. Can you imagine the level of frustration in their lives that makes them lash out at you?

Now here's the kick in the pants: Go achieve your passion. The rest is immaterial. Including this advice.

Answer 2

The good thing about using a site like this is you will get a cross section of answers. The thing I have found with my mental health is that I have such mood swings and what I want and need to hear fluctuates wildly. There are days when I want to scream at the person who says "go for a walk" and others when I might think "well actually I have been in front of this screen for hours, I might feel better with fresh air".
Fresh air isn't ever going to cure my depression, and I don't suppose it will anyone elses. But as far as a coping day to day thing goes there are days when it may help as well as days when it really won't. To go back to my original point, a cross section can be utterly what you need. If you get 20 answers to a question and 19 of them really really wind you up, they aren't the ones that matter. What matters is that 20 sufficiently different people with different ideas between them found one answer that helped a little. No point in holding anything against any of the others - you're depressed already and you have more than enough to worry about without dwelling on the opinions you have already dismissed. Dwell on the minority cases that manage to hit the right button at the time they are sent because they are a way forward.

Answer 3

Ignore them, they're just not worth it. Of course you have dreams and hopes and needs. You are no different to anyone else. Why do people answer the way they do? Because they are ignorant and don't understand. And maybe in their own little way perhaps they feel a bit embarrassed or even guilty that actually they don't 'get it' or understand and make a sarcastic comment, which they think might be funny, to make themselves feel good or better. Hold your head up high and take care of you, for you ARE worth it - and keep those dreams alive.

Answer 4

My problems started when I was 2. I had selective mutism. Then I got bullied till I was 13. Now I'm 15, yeah a lot younger than you but I started getting severe depression when i was 12. My doctor refused antidepressants and my mum begged until it got to the point where i just shouted at him everything that had happened the night before. It broke my family apart. I got fluoxetine and now I can't stop making them laugh:) Yeah I got my little problems at the moment. And a pretty big one but at least I feel I can cope and I know ill get through it and its not always on my mind. I really really recommend it!

Answer 5

Dont ask for help and advice from people who have never experienced mental illness like yourself because they dont understand thus will give you patronising feedback. They probably dont mean to be condescending they just havnt got the experience nescesary to get onto your level of understanding.

Instead of asking for advice on YA why dont you look for some sort of mental health forum on the web where there will be people who will get your drift and wont judge or patronise you.

Answer 6

Generally speaking, when questions are posed on Yahoo! Answers, those answering are not going to be qualified as counselors, therapists, psychologists, etc.

Some may give the responses such as "go for a walk" because they may not fully understand what you're going through.

I can tell by your verbiage that once you get your depression issues worked out, that you will work hard to get where you want to be.

Answer 7

Like a child that wont eat his food because he wants some form of attention. You want attention and you get it. Say what you want it is all the same. You still get the attention that you say is no good yet here you are again so maybe something deeper inside you really enjoys this. I do and probably most of the bloggers here do and... perhaps you too?

Answer 8

Well I say 'Good for You'!!

Just because we suffer from mental illness does not mean that we are lesser people and shouldn't have hopes and dreams, just like anyone else.

Noboby has the right to tell you any different, so don't listen to them.

It is possible to live with a mental illness and still lead a productive live and learn to cope with things that make life difficult.

It isn't easy, but it can be done. There is good support and help available, but you have to be prepared to work hard, which it sounds like you are trying to do.

1 in 4 people will suffer from a mental illness at some point in there lives..... but everyone seems to think it will never happen to them. I think they should spend one hour in the shoes of someone who does suffer and then they might realise what it is like!

Have you tried to find a mental health charity in your area - if not try this link:

http://www.mind.org.uk/Mind+in+your+area/

they are easy to access, it only takes a phone call, and they are much less formal than Dr's.

They have lots of services and things they do to help people from all walks of life, working and not working, but they offer support and are very understanding. They are there to help people achieve whatever they feel they want to and not to judge anyone or put them down.

I used the services of my local association for over 10 years and now count myself as priveleged to work for them. I try and use my own experience to help others, which is good for me and gives me belief and confidence in myself, but it also helps other people as well.

I am so pleased that you have goals and things that you want to aim for, that will give you the drive to make moves forward. Just remember that you will probably have set backs and relapes, but that you will improve again and be able to carry on again on your journey.

Thats what has worked for me, accept yourself for who you are, hold your head high as you have nothing to be ashamed of, you are coping with major illness but you aren't letting it beat you. Thats fantastic, but I do know how hard it can be.

If you would like information on the illnesses, use this links to the Mind website:

Depression
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+depression.htm

Anxiety
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+anxiety.htm

How to Assert Yourself
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/How+to/How+to+assert+yourself.htm

Bipolar disorder
http://www.mind.org.uk/Information/Booklets/Understanding/Understanding+manic+depression.htm

it is all easy to read and understand. The website also has lots of other useful information as well. And gives links to other organisations that offer help and support.

I believe that you will achieve your goals, and just ask that you conisder getting and taking all the help and support that you can to make it easier to do - you don't have to do it all alone, and there are good people who will be willing to give you a helping hand, if you let them.

Accepting help doesn't meant that you can't do things on your own, it just helps you to get where you are going a bit quicker, and that seems like a good thing to me.

Good luck with all that you do and I'm sure that one day you will achieve your goals.

Nothing is impossible - illness or no illness!!

Stay strong and in times when you are feeling not so good remember where you want to get to and don't lose sight of the goal - you can and will do it.

If more people had the determination of you the World would be a better place.

Answer 9

not much i can say,ive suffered from severe depression for 6 years your doing alot better than me i have no goals no pland and just dread the next day. your going the right way by making plans of what you want to do with your life, keep those plans and steady yourself forward, when times get tough just remember where you want to go, dont push yourself into to much at once.
goodluck

Answer 10

They say these things because they want to help you..They just don't know how or what to say..
And then your asking these questions on yahoo answers..Alot of them just want that one point for answering your question..
Truth be known most of us don't know how to answer your questions..We don't understand what your going through..
I have a son with depression and psychological problems..He does and says things I just don't understand..All I can do is be there to love him..Hug him and kiss him and let him know I won't allow anyone to hurt him..To encourage him that he can be something and someone in life..
I hope you have someone like this in your life too..