Why can't i eat?

Question

I have had a problem with eating infront of people, especially men! I think it's low self esteem, i think i am fat and when i eat it makes me depressed afterwards. I don't have an eating disorder because i eat when i want to and eat enough to fill me up but i never eat infront of people.
Now my boyfriend who i've now been with for a year is annoyed. I haven't eaten infront of him once since eating a chip from KFC.That's all. i find it hard and think he might think i'm fat and i shouldn't be eating but i know he doesn't think that as he always encourages me to eat and is really worried about me. I don't know how to get over my fear of eating infront of my boyfriend, this may sound like a stupid problem but it's affecting me and my relationship.
Please help me in finding self esteem. I'm 5ft 2inches and i weigh 8 stone.

Answer 1

It seems like you do have a mini social problem, but nothing major.
Try eating in front of friends first, people who you feel close or pally with, then try it with them AND your boyfriend. He should try to understand your mini problem, and if he doesn't, get it into his head!

How about if you have something simple and easy like Ice Cream, and you could both eat it, feedin it to each other?? Would maybe bring you closer as well
x

Answer 2

I have suffered with this. Well I do suffer with this, but in a different way. I can eat snacks in front of people, but sitting down to a meal is beyond me. I take food in my bag and eat it in the bathroom or outside. It's an eating disorder, there are more than just the Anorexic/ Bulimic / overeating ways to have issues about food. Social phobias are one of the big psych disorders these days because social expectation and pressure are intense in today's frantic do-it-all-do-it-now world. There isn't a stigma in going to your GP and saying I have panic problems, I worry about my eating (or however you choose to phrase it). Remember that EVERYONE has issues about something - for some they are massive problems, for some they don't bother them so much in everyday life (but they have them just the same), but you are seeking help, which holds you up as a courageous, responsible and focused person, rather than hiding and hoping it will go away.

Answer 3

hmmm. well it good that u say u dnt have a eatin disorder, so mayb its just the self estem more than anythin else. i think you need to work on appreciatin your body and learnin to love it. after all its ur body, its somethin that no one can take away from you, and its unique to u. try talkin about your problem more to your boyfriend. mayb he doesnt realise just how serious it is and how it affects u. have a good discussion about it. then again he says he doent mind u eatin in front of him, you have to trust him, if he really loves you then he wouldnt just say this. also apperance isnt everythin. from what i can tell u are by no mean overweight so dnt have that to fear, and your boyfriend dosnt love you just for your body, he loves everything about u so i mean so wot if u did put a pound or two on, he WILL still love you. seein as this is fear problem, its somethin that you have to overcome step by step. dnt rush it, but remember your boyfriend does love you no matter what, and how much you weigh and whatever isnt the most important thing in life, who cares what people think about you, when i'm down town on my own i'll eat a pasty or chocolate bar in front of every one to show people taht i aint some size 0 anorexic girl and that i want to eat and be happy, ok some people may think i'm bein a pig which i may b but i no that if i'm unhappy with the way i look i'll do somethin about it such as go to the gym or eat more healthy. i hope this helps.

Answer 4

Does sound like a bit of an eating disorder, sorry! We all have things that make us feel out of our comfort zone. Do you see your boyfriend as fat when you see him eat? I doubt it... No one thinks like that of other people. Eating is just an activity...one that supplies your body of nutrients and energy. It's good for you! And people know this!

Just keep in mind that it's an activity that MOST people enjoy doing with friends, family and loved ones. It's fun! Like shopping, or watching TV. It's about spending the time together and exchanging conversation. That's it! If you're sitting there, enjoying a meal with your friend or boyfriend, and start to feel embarrassed, just think of your favorite activity...the feeling YOU have when you're enjoying yourself. That's the feeling the other person is having when you share a meal together. Just enjoy!! Those little annoyances in life are really not THAT big of a deal. I promise!! =]

Answer 5

Wow! At 8 stone, you shouldn't be worrying about your weight. You're the perfect weight! My girlfriend seems to have a similar problem. She won't admit it and just says that she's not hungry, but I do worry sometimes... It would be nice to be able to take her out to eat occasionally... I'm sure your boyfriend feels the same. Honestly, don't worry about eating in front of people. Your DEFINATELY not fat and I'm sure your boyfriend wouln't care, even if you were. Good Luck!

Answer 6

Sounds like Social Anxiety Disorder.

See a doctor.

Answer 7

You may deny it, but you should reconsider whether you have an eating disorder. I recently studied Anorexia Nervosa and refusing to eat in public/in front of people is one of the top symptoms. Just think about it and watch your eating. I hope you get over that!

Answer 8

I think that actually is an eating disorder. just realize it's something everyone has to do (eat). and maybe even see a therapist to see why you have the self esteem issues.

Answer 9

What you should do is pretend he's not there, start taking a few bites. Then start talking to him and probably while you're talking to him, you'll eat while you're talking without noticeing it. And you won't eat that much without noticeing, if you're worried about gaining weight. You'll eat a bit or two between each sentence, and if you eat slow, it helps your digestive system burn fat. I hope that helps.

Answer 10

Don't be embarrassed to talk to your boyfriend over it- he obviously cares and you have been with him long enough to confide him. You have to keep telling yourself that everybody eats! You are not fat either. A counsellor might help you to overcome these fears.