Help? I can't be aloine. i hate being alone?

Question

Sometimes I will do anythimg not to be alone, for any period of time. i cannot figure out why I dread being alone sooo much. I literally go from activity to activity to avoid being alone. When I am alone, I dissociate ( feel like i'm in a dream) or I drink or self-medicate. This has been a chronic problem for me. I am in therapy ( for past year ) but I still have an intense crazy fear of being alone. How can I overcome this?

I don't think you guys understand how bad it is

Answer 1

I have lost everyone I love in my life, my mother, my husband
and two sons. one suicide, one cancer. the only living person
left in my life is a daughter who has been sober for one year.
I find I am less lonely if I keep the tv or music on; and i have
three cats that totally fill my life with joy. maybe you should think about getting a pet. Try taking a class in something you're interested in, you may find a friend you have something
in common with. Look at the beauty in the world around you
You can't help but know there is a God out there that loves
and cares about you. Peace and love to you.

Answer 2

First off- im not going for the points here...
I have the same problem. I have always hated to be alone. ALWAYS. To the point of when i was younger I would allow people in my life that shouldnt be, just so i wasnt alone. Now that I am older ive learned but it took me time and patience. Ive spent alot of money- No one around, id go shopping even when i was broke.
Kids is not a option- trust me on this. I have 2 sons that are great but that was not a cure or was it intended to be.
I have a cat and she is sooo great as far as not letting me be alone! She demands all of my attention.
I still have my issues with it. I wish i could give you a magical answer. Ive tried therapy and meds. I would honestly say give it time... Acknowledge the problem so you can deal with it realistically.
I wish you the best of luck! xoxo

Answer 3

----If you give it some taught, there is time when one must be alone. Some solitude is even beneficial, a time to think and to relax, or do personal things, like hair or nails or shower etc you need to learn to enjoy the time when you are alone and make plans what you will be doing.Learning to overcome your fear, begins in the taughts you have about being alone. Is this a frear of being attacked by someone, or get to the bottom just why are you being afraid. I am sorry you feel that way. and hope you will work on overcoming the problem.

Answer 4

You should look at joining a sports team or a group activity that happens throughout the week.

If your anxiety is truly that bad, consider getting a roommate, or a pet. Dogs and cats are great companions, and they do make it seem as though you aren't actually alone.

If it is truly a fear, then try "un fearing yourself" in the same way that people with a fear of heights take roller coaster rides, or people that are afraid of closed spaces spend some time in a hyperbaric chamber...sometimes the only way to get over your fear is to face it down and realize that it doesn't rule you unless you let it.

Answer 5

I am really sorry your feeling this way.

Does your fear have anything to do with being alone with your own thoughts? staying busy and having people around really quiets that down.

Honestly I would really like you to try sitting at home for just a few hours with yourself, plan it, kind of like a date and I want you to do a few activities all by yourself.
1. I want you to start a journal. Write down things about all these activities you do. How you feel about them and what you get out of them. Write about the people in your life and your relationship with them. Write where you want to go in life and what kind of person you want to become.
2. take a bubble bath and read a book or magazine while your sitting in the bath.
3. Paint your nails at home and deep condition your hair. (you can get a cheap packet of conditioner at a beauty supply store like sallys) and then do a facial.

try doing this, making this date and stick to it once a week. really try doing it for just a few hours.
Being alone can be sad for anyone, so maybe a roomate may help to.

Answer 6

I am someone who used to hate being alone. The answer really is to try and take it in baby steps. Start off with just a couple of minutes alone with someone on the other side of the door...then go from there.

While you are alone, talk to yourself sternly, but positively..."I am okay, I will be okay...I am able to handle this one minute at a time." that kind of thing, positive, but stern self-talk. It's very hard, but it can work as long as you really talk to yourself. Have something to do while you are doing that few minutes. A book, a cross-stitch, a favorite comic...something...have someone you can trust just outside the door. Start with the door open and them talking from just outside the door...then have them move away from the door, but still talking to you. then have the door partially closed, with them talking to you...then have the door closed with them talking through the door...then have them there, but not talking to you...once you have that, then you can increase your time...

baby steps...make a plan, write it down, and go from there...

Being alone can be scary, but it can also be relaxing and satisfying. You can learn about yourself. If you like to write, write about your feelings when you are alone...if you are only alone starting at 3 minutes or so, you can increase it while you are writing...write down how you are feeling and then talk about the good you are doing by sitting there by yourself. such things as "you did it...you are by yourself for three whole minutes!" be positive...

Also, make the schedule up with your therapist...they are the best person to run anything by before giving it a real try...

I had to do that with my phobia of being a passenger in a car...it took a long time and a great deal of anxiety; however, with patience, positive self-talk and perseverence, I did it and you can too...good luck.

Answer 7

Why don't you try to spend a whole weekend alone? Or if that is too much at one, just a night or whole day and then gradually increase the time. You will make it through and then you will realize that being alone is okay and can even be fun at times. The best way to get over the fear would be to just face it right on.

Answer 8

Get a pet. A cat would be great because they thrive off attention. If you want company with people try becoming a volunteer around your community. That's a great way to meet new people and good people at that.

Answer 9

Your therapist and doctor are the people to talk to this about, not a random question site. Your therapist should be able to help you work on strategies to deal with this.

Answer 10

Have u tried a behavioural psychologist? They might be able to help u overcome ur phobia.