The two sisters and brother pulled out of the wedding due to religious differences (they are devout Baptist we are less divout Christians and attend a non-denominational church) after I altered the bridesmaids dresses to be more conservative, told them they did not need to get hair or makeup done and even told them they did not have to dance at all. Still it was too much for them and they don't want to be a part of it. They even refused to do a reading for us! Now his father is having issues with renting a Tux because he doesn't want to spend the money. Am I wrong to be upset with them not being a part of the wedding? And if they are so against the wedding why are they coming at all?
2007-05-24 07:15:43 · 23 answers · asked by KikiM110 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
Well I understand if they do not want to attend the reception. Some Christians don't like to listen to secular music.
However, not going to the ceremony is just silly to me. You do have a right to be upset, but pray about it and leave it in God's hands. The worst thing you can do is hold a grudge to your new family that will eventually turn to bitterness. If they are really God-seeking Christians then I believe that God will eventually show them what they should have done.
You and your fiance are doing a great thing by getting married. Don't let anyone or their actions discourage you. Trust God and keep them in prayer. Be supportive of your husband, I'm sure it won't be easy for him that day without his family. God bless.
2007-05-24 07:28:07 · answer #1 · answered by World Peace Girl 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could you two foot the bill of the tux rental? If so, do it if you want his dad there. Certain members of my family do not do church services- they will not be at my wedding ceremony but they'll be at my reception. Can you come to an agreement with them that's along those lines? You wouldn't think there'd be that big a difference, but if they're uncomfortable as bridesmaids they shouldn't be bridesmaids. I would be annoyed- especially since they're backing out and didn't just say up front that they wouldn't do it- but you seem to be taking it a little too far.
2007-05-24 13:00:10 · answer #2 · answered by K S 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Someone has to take Emily into the back alley and knock her two front teeth out!! That girl is a drama queen and she is conducting a puppet show by pulling everyone's strings. Your fiance needs to sit that little brat down and have a talk with her. She is deliberately trying to get her way by using emotional blackmail. How dare she. Does she really expect to bully her way into your bridal party? If you allow this to happen, you are making a HUGE mistake and giving this little witch power to destroy your wedding planning. This current drama she is causing from a distance, just imagine what it would be like if she were part of your immediate entourage. OH NO. You husband should meet with each individual boycotter. He needs to let them all know that you have selected your bridal attendants and Emily is not included because she is not close to you. He needs to tell everyone that he would like them to attend the wedding, as planned, but if they decide to take sides and use emotional blackmail, that is their prerogative and he will certainly miss them on his wedding day. END OF STORY. EMILY LOSES.
2016-05-17 04:56:23 · answer #3 · answered by gail 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st congrats on the wedding.
I don't think they understand that this is not about them it is about you and there brother. Also they need to be trying to make your day special and work with you not the other way around. Plan you day to be what you want. Forget them for now. I would have your soon to be hubby ask them where in there religion does it state that family should act like this & they can be a guest and not worry about being in the bridal party. Also you are not asking them to change there beliefs. Pick others for your bridal party and let your father in law where what he wants. No one will look at him anyway. You are the star. Don't let them upset you. Some families like drama and need to take the focus off the bride.
2007-05-24 07:29:34 · answer #4 · answered by Kat G 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say whether you have the right to be upset about their religious reasons, however you very well should be upset that they let you go to the extra trouble of altering their dresses and made other concessions to accommodate them before telling you they can't do it. Hey, if the wedding causes them too much inconvenience, then maybe they shouldn't be part of it.
I can understand that would upset you, not to mention your fiance, but given the choice, and perhaps a word or two from your riance, they may capitulate.
2007-05-24 07:26:16 · answer #5 · answered by Happy Wife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
One would think it was your guy who is more upset. Things like this do just happen with different denominations and religious differences. They probably thought they would give it a try, then just found they couldn't do it.
There's a difference between family attending a wedding to be there to witness it, and then being involved in it.
Leave this for your guy to figure it all out with his family.
2007-05-24 08:40:05 · answer #6 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the right to be upset. Afterall you will be their family too, what a way to start huh? But, you should just try not to pay too much attention since they are the ones who are wrong. Enjoy the rest of the planning and you will see they will regret not being part of your wedding. Oh, make them stay home so you can invite people who really want to witness such beautiful union regardless of religion.
2007-05-24 07:23:34 · answer #7 · answered by Smile L 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since they are so against everything you are wanting and have already pulled out of the wedding, I would suggest that your fiance tell them he would rather them not come to the wedding at all if they are going to behave so rudely. There is no reason for the 2 of you to be unhappy at your own wedding because of their attendance. Congrats and good luck with them.
2007-05-24 09:42:31 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with you. I'd be very upset if my fiance's family pulled out of the wedding. Exactly what more do they want, after all you've already done to accommodate them ?
It's your wedding, not theirs. And if they can't accept you and give you and your fiance the right to have your wedding as you see fit, then it's just as well that they not be there !!!
I have one question--where does your fiance stand with all this ? I hope you and he are a united team, and have decided what you both want. Perhaps he can talk to his family.
If your fiance isn't with you on this, I'd reconsider getting married to him until things get straightened out.
2007-05-24 07:25:40 · answer #9 · answered by Tweety 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your last question is right on the nail. Maybe your husband should suggest that they not cost you the reception fees and just stay home since they feel so strongly against the ceremony and reception to begin with. You may actually have a better time without them than have them sitting there either stone faced or scowling in disapproval at everything and everyone around them. Good luck and God Bless your marriage.
2007-05-24 07:19:38 · answer #10 · answered by tersey562 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋