Help! My girlfriend's turning into a Christian!?

Question

My girlfriend has been turning to church and religion and it is about more than I can stand. We've been having a rough time lately, so I've tried to be indulgent, but this is getting out of hand. I am an atheist myself, and have tried to tell her she may as well believe in Father Christmas as Jesus, but she is unmoved. I suspect that the level of education is a determining factor; she has never gone on to university, so grasps religion as a method of validation. I've cheated on her a few times in the past and the thought crossed my mind she was having a revenge affair and using church as a cover-up(a thought that causes me extreme hurt---how cruel of her!), so I asked her point blank. She replied, "I'm seeing a man on a weekly basis now, and you're welcome to meet him as well. His name is Jesus Christ." This is too much. I've followed her secretly a few times and it's true: she's spending every free moment at church and has totally neglected me. What can I do about this?

To twinkyz4:

What in the world is up with you? You write an incomprehensible answer and then chastise yourself for your spelling errors.....?

To Bob(Dragon...):

Pointless.......

Answer 1

go to church with her and check it out. maybe what she is into is not as bad as you think. it's really immature of you to suggest it has to do with her education level also. >L

Answer 2

If, as she says, she is cheating on you with Jesus, then good for you. It could be much worse. But my advice is to break up with her, for the following reasons:

1. You cheated but are not willing to accept the reverse happening to you. I don't think you respect her if you have cheated "a few times".

2. If you went so far as following her, you don't trust her. Who wants to be in a relationship with someone you don't trust?

3. She loves you, or she would have left you when she found out about your cheating. BUT if she loves Jesus, and you force her to choose, it doesn't matter what YOU believe. She will choose Jesus because that is where her belief lies. I'm telling you that from experience.

4. Do you want to be with someone who is so "into" something you don't believe in? You're just too different.

Discuss this with her; if she's serious, you need a smooth break earlier rather than later. The next thing you know, if you're having sex, she might demand that you marry her or she could break up with you anyway.

Answer 3

If you can't respect her enough not to cheat on her, then I suggest you leave her.

Now, if you are really wanting to stay in the relationship, I will have to warn you that this Christianity "run" she is going through is going to last a long time.

Many people, after converting to a religion become so engulfed in it that they go overboard and they try so hard too fast to be the perfect religious person but at the same time become harsh with others about their faults, their lack of practicing the religion correctly, and they may preach to the point of turning people off of wanting to hear anything about that religion.

There is one Muslim sister who termed Muslims who become like this when newly converted to Islam as "Convertitis", or the "Insta-Scholar". And I think it is probably the same when a person first converts to any other religion.

But all in all, it doesn't really seem like you are both meant for each other.... or maybe just going through some bad times... you may want to consider counseling to see if you both can work things out or if its time to move on.

Answer 4

What difference does it make if you love her? Do you love her? My wife is a christian she goes to church every Sunday, I am an atheist. We are different people, with different thoughts. You don't have to believe the same things to be in a relationship. To me it looks like you are trying to find a way out of the relationship, and if this is what gives you an excuse and really do want to leave her, do it. But just remember, relationships are about compromise, you are never going to find a girl that believes everything you do. If you're feeling neglected do what I do. I work ALOT. One of the only days I get to see my wife is Sunday. So every six months or so I go to her church. I don't go because she forces me, I go to spend time with her.
Just remember, she's probably as fervent about this as you are about the lack of a god.

Answer 5

First of all, it sound like you may not have a lot of respect for this girl. You've had affairs on her, you think she isn't very bright or enlightened at least and you don't seem to trust her. I think those are big issues you may need to be more worried about.
Secondly, I am agnostic and I live in the bible belt and my husband is Catholic. We have agreed not to discuss religion. I respect his beliefs and he respects mine. He attends church or does what ever he needs to in that area and does not put any pressure on me to attend. I do not harrass him for going.
Thirdly, you both need to discuss it if you are feeling neglected. How many hours a week do you spend on your hobbies and out side activities? She should have the same amount of time to pursue her own interests even if it is religion. (please excuse any spelling errors as the spell check took too long.)

Answer 6

I am sorry dude, but in my eyes here she is on the right track and you are not. But this isn't so much a religious debate. The fact is that your beliefs and hers are take VERY different turns. And man cmon cheated on her? That's just wrong no matter how you look at it. I see your relationship as doomed to fail. The cheating should have done it in, I don't know why it didn't but now the very different belief systems is going to become a much bigger problem than that.

Answer 7

Your gf had found the lover of her soul :) It's love that no one else could give and no word could describe the feeling that you feel when you've been FOUND by Christ... It's an agape love and the bible said "whom the son sets free is free indeed"... Going to a university have nothing to do with knowing Christ and having a relationship in him. Nothing that you could do BUT to accept him in your heart and confess with you mouth that he is your Lord and savior to receive the salvation that is offered to you....And the heaven rejoices when a sinner turns from it's sin. I will be praying for your salvation...

Answer 8

You my man are an idiot. Where do I start...
First of all, what does her level of education have to do with her beliefs?
Second of all, how does it hurt you if she believes in Christ?
Third, how do you get off cheating on her and asking us for advice?
If your atheism sends to too cheating, then how can her Christianity, which preaches morals, hurt you? Unless you want her to treat you the same way you treated her?
You need get a clue and let her be who she is or better yet, you should probably leave her, because it is obvious to me that she deserves a whole lot better, you sanctimonious, self-righteous Pinhead.

bob

Answer 9

You break up with her. She's better without you anyway. You're the one who cheated on her in the first place. And if you cheated on her because she wants to have a personal relationship with Jesus, your one selfish person. She needs to be with fellow Christians and not with an atheist. You need to find another atheist for a girlfriend.

Answer 10

You need to grow up. Maybe you should be proud that your girlfriend has found something that means something to her instead of staying home and having you cheat on her! Gee, would it be ok if she all of a sudden developed an avid interest in male stip clubs or illegal drugs? Get a grip, if you don't like it, break it off and let her have a chance to have a happy life.

Answer 11

Whats your problem dude.There is nothing wrong with being a christian.God exists and he is real in every way.What are you worried about God is going to take her away from you.Are you worried that she will not be having sex with you anymore.Maybe you should just marry her.You should be ashamed to say that you don't believe there is a God who created you do you exist on your own how did this world come into being someone must have created it and that person is God.