What do i do?!?

Question

In the name of Allah the most benificial the most merciful

asalaam alaikum brothers and sisters,

Although i know a similar question was recently asked i need to get this one out.

I converted to islam in feb and my mother and father are chrisitians. I have not seen my father since i converted and saw my mother more than 3 mnth ago. It hurts me so much because if i go see them they wont let me in the street with my hijab on and i also wear the niqab. They dont know about the niqab because i havent plucked up the courage to tell them. I really want to go see them but i wont take of my hijab and niqab outside. Can anyone help me because my heart is empty without my mum and dad. They are really against islam because all they see is what is in the papers and on news and will not open their minds to even tolerate me wearing hijab

inshallah i will find some help. I need some support with this one

jazakallah for your time

p.s i live in the UK

for those who seem to think this question is not in english (lol)

niqab - veil
hijab - head covering
inshallah - god willing
jazakallah - all thanks be to allah

a little better?

Answer 1

Did you deny Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour? that must be very painful to your parents....

Answer 2

Assalamu-alaykum dear sister,

May Allah help you and your family to stay on good terms. You have to remember that your parents love you and care about you and I am sure that you are just panicking, but they will still love you and be your mum and dad whatever you do. But also remember that Allah loves us 70 times more than our mothers!

I mean, we live in an over-tolerant society, parents accept when their children become gay, when they commit crimes and so on. What you are doing is not criminal it is not harming anyone, you chose to do it out of wanting to get closer to Allah (God) and if you explain things to them rationally I am sure they will respect your choices.

Islam encourages that the rights of the parents whether they are believers or not always be fulfilled, you should be a kind, dutiful daughter and if you are good to them, then they won't care what you wear or what others say about you because they will see as many other parents of Muslim reverts constantly realise, that Islam has benefited their child and made them a better human being and a better more loving child.

To warm them to the whole thing slowly, you should meet them at your home or a place where they can see you without your hijab or you should go round to their house and take it off at the doorstep.And slowly slowly I am sure that things will become easier for you. Trust and rely upon the help of Allah, He is ever close to the believers, there is no protector or saviour better than Allah.

Wassalam

Answer 3

Oh dear, Safina, my heart goes out to you.

I converted to Islam when I was way too young to know any better & I lost my entire family. My relationship with my parents was at breaking point anyway, for a multitude of complex reasons, but Islam was the point of no return.

Is there a man involved in you converting? or have you done this through your own choice alone & because you feel this is the right path for you?

I converted because of a relationship I was in at the time. At the tender age of 18, I was 'pursuaded' by him & his family - it was a case of convert or be rejected. Personally (& Im not saying this is the case for everyone) its a choice I later regretted.

You say your heart is empty without your mum & dad. If they truly love you as their daughter, they will either stand by the decision you have made, or will do anything they possibly can to help you see that you are making a mistake. It never, ever ceases to amaze me how some parents can simply turn their back at a time when their children truly need their love, support & guidance. Sit down with them & tell them you need them.

Good luck, lots of love & best wishes.
x

Answer 4

I'm not Muslim, but aren't you allowed to take those things off in front of your relatives, in private? Why don't you do that right before you reach the door, like on the doorstep, or have them come over to your place?

You can also ask them why they don't want you seen with your hijab. After all, they could just tell the neighbors you're having a bad hair day if anyone has a problem with it.

Answer 5

Well they are right to disown you completely. You should never ever be allowed to have the privelege of being in their company again. You have betrayed your family.

By converting to islam you are supporting and defending a mudering illiterate rapist paedophile called muhammed, and following a murderous violent brainwashed cult.

Muslims should not be anywhere other than arabia, in the heat-scorched deserts where they can kill, mutilate and torture each other for eternity. I honestly think you should move there, and enjoy your freedoms under sharia law.

Congratulations, you now worship the false moon-god allah. The allah that muhammed and his tribe worshipped. Please google 'The Satanic Verses' to find out how muhammed actually referred to allah as having 3 daughters (he was obviously referring to the moon-god allah who does have 3 daughters)

I pity your indoctrinated blindfolded and brainwashed life.

Answer 6

Can you see them without wearing the headgear? Will your Imam forgive you for that? I know there are some sects of Islam that don't require such garb, maybe you can join a more progressive sect?

Or did you convert because of some boy and now you are married to him and he will punish you for taking off the headgear?

Islam can be a very beautiful and spiritual path, when its not being misogynistic and hateful.

You just may have to set aside your clothing preferences at least once to honor your parents (which, I believe is also part of your current religion, is it not? Honoring your parents?), so you can rationally explain to them why you have chosen this path and why this is right for you, and why they need to accept your decision in this matter.

It will be next to impossible if they believe you are "taken in by a cult" or being abused by your boyfriend/husband, so you have to be honest to yourself and to them that this isn't the case.

(From my own experience - I left my religion of birth (Judaism) and became Pagan (Wiccan), and have helped others on my path explain to their Christian families their choice (husband is an ex-Catholic))

Good luck to you

Answer 7

I am so sorry about your broken relationship with your parents. I am going to give you my honest and open opionion on your question. First, there are many, many different kinds of religions, but there is only one true God. Alot of people are either confused, mislead or just searching for something, anything to fill an empty void in their life. To know true happiness and a peace that surpasses all understanding, only God can give. Your parents are concerned and worried about you, that's what parents do. I will pray for your situation and trust in God that your relationship will be restored to you and your parents.

Answer 8

Mashallah, Try to keep your family relations because they need you as much as you need them.

You need to show them Islam by living it. I'll pray for you, it will get easier soon. And don't forget many of the early Muslims had non-Muslim parents like the mother of Abu Hurraira who didn't like Islam but accepted it later. go in your hijab and speak to them, you'll be fine and they might be upset at first but they will be okay after a while.

Answer 9

I can not tell you exactly what to do, because I do not fully know the situation. But I can empathize with you as I am newly reverted to Islam and my parents are Christians. The Quran says to love and honor your parents. Only time, and your good example of Islam will help change your parents views, but definately talk to your parents about it. Inshallah in time they will understand.

God Bless

Answer 10

All I can say is parents are hurting
Their daughter is in a foreign religion
It seems that she has forsaken them
She has gone against their wishes and hopefully won't come to regret it
they probably miss you as much but move on
You have commited yourself now you have to go with the consequences

Answer 11

I understand your parents. Do you really want this faith?

if so have the guts to go all the way!

Why would you as a woman put yourself in a submissive situation? After all the work women before you have done, so you could have an education, a job, the right to vote, the right to drive.....