Is there help for a painfully shy 32 year old?

Question

I am a 32 year old shy man, that have not been able to meet anyone since my divorce 2 years ago. I cannot find a woman to to meet because it is so intimidating to talk to women now. None of them think I am a catch. It is so hard to live with that I have driven everyone away that have cared for me, because that's all I talk about. I am on the verge of going over the deep end if I haven't yet. I truly believe that GOD made me this way to f with me, because he hates me. I've been to psychologists and they do not help. I'm just about at the last of my rope and no one wants to help. It's like they don't care if I'm dead or not.

Is there anything I can do before I choose to take my life

Answer 1

There is a lot you can do. First, if you are thinking about hurting yourself please talk to someone. Talk to your family or even your regular Dr how is not a psychologist. Your Dr. may have a more pragmatic approach to the problem.

I overcame shyness over the past few years and I know how hard it can be. You need to work on your self-esteem and believe in yourself before you can get into a relationship.

If you are too shy to talk to girls in person, internet dating can be a really good option for you. Try something like match.com and be honest in your self evaluation. You'll get through this.

Answer 2

If you go to church, please look for a singles group. In a group you may meet someone special and you will really click. I am a Christian, and I know one thing for sure: God does not hate you. There are some very special single women in churches who don't care that someone is shy. Another thing, psychologists are not magicians. They will make suggestions that you must follow for success. Please don't give up. I am sure you have qualities that many will find special. Please go to your regular doctor and find out if there is some medication that will help. You haven't met the right person yet. You could also practice talking with your male friends, and then use the same techniques on the girls. Don't end your life. You can beat this, but you have to try. Everyone is rejected from time to time, but it is important to get up and try again. I used to be very shy too, but I am much better now that I finally met that 1 special person who helps make life worthwhile. Best wishes for you !

Answer 3

Become a tutor in free time. Help people read at a library. Be good to others. Lots of people need physical help, and can't afford it.

Try to get some interests you really like, and occupy your time. Friends will crop up. Others are shy, too. Now many sit at computers.

Take a dance class. Try to learn, not socialize to much. Others will start talking to you. Try NOT to talk about being shy. Its ok to talk about being recently divorced. 80% of Americans are divorced. Learn to laugh about it. Whenever I hear someone is divorced, I tell them 1) I'm sorry to hear about it, and 2) Congratulations.

If you are not a catch, why not ? Need a new hair cut ? Change your clothing style ?

Go to church ? People are very accepting of new members.

Become a regular somewhere. When you don't seem to be a stranger, people will get interested in you. Be interested in others.

God may want you to wake up and do something, but not kill yourself. Sounds like you have health and a brain. That is more than many have.

Answer 4

Well, Mrs Right does not exist, but if you want a woman who would love you and care about you, that is much more possible to find. Don't scare her away by acting intimidated when she talks to you. Think your ex is only one of the six thousands of million people in the world and stop thinking if your new love would hurt you as she did.

Answer 5

You know, just because you cant find a companion is NOT a good excuse to end your life. What about friends and family that do care for you? I mean you have to have some. I suggest you branch out and become more active so you dont dwell on the fact that you are single. Single is not a death sentence, its just a way of god telling us we need to focus our attention on self and sometimes others around us. Please try to resort to other methods of contentment besides drug therapy or therapist. Try taking yourself out to eat, or with friends. Read for enjoyment. Go to movies!
Good luck

Answer 6

Try talking to people in chat rooms, which will at least loosen you up to start talking to people in conversations. When you have mastered that well, then volunteer your time at places like nursing homes, hospitals, etc.... It could help in both directions, the people there are longing to have some outside contact and a little human compassion, and they also have a lot of insight on life and can give you a lot of confidence boosting. I have noticed one thing about the opposite sex, confidence means everything. Look at Donald Trump, he is one of the ugliest men I have every seen, but have you seen his wives? It's all about the attitude, if you are positive, it's like a magnet drawing others to you, and if you are negative it pushes others from you. I'm not saying to go out there are just bounce up and down with glee, just look for the positive. I believe that there is a movie my Mother told me about recently that has inspired her it is called “The Secret", it tells you how to gain things out of life by positive actions. We are all influenced by something, you have to put around you things that influence you in a positive direction. Honestly, if you are shy there is nothing wrong with that. Do not beat yourself up for it. Men who are shy can be a blessing to a woman who has been surrounded by overbearing, overzealous men. Woman like a man to talk to and not have come in and tyrannically try to fix all the problems, just someone to listen is all and understand the feelings as silly as they might seem. If the people that were around you drifted away and said they were your friends, they weren't if they didn't stay. I do not know where you are, but environment says a lot, people in big cities have cares only for themselves and what they can gain, how they appear to one another. In smaller areas they are a little more compassionate. I know that God seems like he is your worst enemy right now, but I believe he puts us all in situations that leads us right to the destination that we need to be at. Without hardships how can we understand someone else’s woe...? There is a perfect woman meant for you, of that I am certain, but maybe she has issues that until you go through certain training will not be able to give her the inspiration that she needs. Instead of looking at today and it's picture, look for tomorrows possibilities. Move somewhere inspirational, get involved with public groups (a.k.a. churches (plenty of good women there), town committees, and school committees) nothing that you need to stand up and be the front man, but something that you can sit in the background of and just participate. I just moved my friend here to live with me, we have been friends for 20 years and she did not realize how her environment kept her in such a little box. I took everything that she had to move, but the rewards were phenomenal. Look at it this way, what do you have to loose, you are not happy where you are, worst case, you won't like it anymore than before, your just the same not worse. Good luck, believe it our not there are people out here who still care. No one is perfect, not me, not my husband, nor my friend, my kids, or family, but we all compliment eachothers weaknesses. That is what it is all about.

Answer 7

Sounds like you have a relationship with God. Pray about it then. I f you have faith in God and believe in Him, maybe your prayer could be like this...

"God, I am shy and divorced. This is painful and I don't like it. Please help me to stop seeing myself as I see myself, and to start seeing myself as YOU see me. I know you don't make junk. Please show me how you see me!"

Try behaving like the person you want to attract! Do you walk by when the homeless share their plight? Would you stop and talk, though, to a celebrity? If you don't change the way you behave (the vibe you put out) then that may be what you attract into your life!

Go read the Secret!

Answer 8

Yah, take life by the balls!! Only you choose your life and how to directed it. If you want to be a PU**Y and mope around about how bad your life sucks and the need to blame it on others then maybe you should remove your life from our existance. And besides, NO girl is gonna want to talk to any man who does not exude confidence and take on each "problem" as a challenge. You really need to look around and see how much better your life really is compared to others who truely have nothing. No home, or trying to keep that home, not being able to see their children because they are trying to give them a better life by giving them up to someone else, barely making minimum wage and having to choose to put $5 worth of gas in there truck to get home or use it to by the only meal they are gonna have that day. Get over yourself.

Answer 9

I am advising you to go to www.nimh.nih.gov and click the "Real men Real depression" link. Please call one of those numbers and read through the material. Give the psychologists another chance.

Answer 10

Sorry you cant cure crazy... But thats why God invented Working Girls and porn. This should at least make you feel better.