if you have kids, and are SINGLE, do you think that someone would consider your kids to be baggage? and if you met someone that has kids, do you think their kids are baggage? isn't that what we call it...if you have kids, and/or an ex-husband/wife?
2007-05-24 05:28:35 · 36 answers · asked by knk724 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Everything that has happened in your life can be considered "baggage". It's all that you bring to a relationship. It depends on what the prospective partner is looking for to decide if any of it is good baggage or not. Perhaps someone would love to have children and doesn't mind that they are not their own. Others might prefer to be with someone without children. So, if you're single and have children, best to find someone who would find you and your children are a blessing to his life.
2007-05-24 05:33:47 · answer #1 · answered by PeteInNashville 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
For me it depends on the individual. My kids are grown and on their own. Raising a new family would be a stretch for me at this point if young children were involved. One I'd think long and hard about before making the commitment. However, if I met the right man and the relationship was really solid I'd be willing to give it due consideration.
As far as the "ex-factor", that depends on how much involvement there is with the ex. Mine is completely out of the picture with no emotional attachment whatsoever, so he isn't baggage that I would carry into a new relationship. A mature ex that had a reasonable relationship with the person I'm dating would not be baggage to me, however a pain in the butt ex that is always stirring the pot would be beyond what I'm willing to cope with.
2007-05-24 05:36:18 · answer #2 · answered by AngelBleu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well no, not necessarily, mmm I'm not sure. As a rule of thumb I generally don't date men with children (even though I love children and can't wait to be a mom) because I don't know how the kids will react to me and I just don't want to go through that whole baby mama drama thing, you know what I mean? I don't regard children as "baggage" but I honestly I don't know how to relate to someone else's kids (I have none. . . .yet) are you their friend, another authority figure what? Baggage no, an issue maybe, I would really, really, really, really have to be into a guy to go out with him if he had a kid('s).
2007-05-25 02:13:20 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think of anyones kids as baggage.I think of them as our gifts from GOD and if you think they are baggage you shouldn't have any.I love my babies and they are what our future is going to be.
If other people who aren't married have kids and meet with someone who has kids that doesn't mean you have too much baggage,that means you have a lot more love then some people do. Think of it as being special.And to the other guy up there about kids being number one and you not liking it then you need a child of your own.And when that day comes I bet your attitude changes cause you will also put your child in front of you and everyone else.And if not your an idiot.
Oh and if a man doesn't want to be with you cause of your kids then they weren't right for you in the first place.
2007-05-24 05:48:35 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is a complicated question. Kids should not ever be viewed as "baggage". Unfortunately, they are put through so much by parents and their immaturity or lack of committment that they themselves become the same. Trying to blend families is often messy business. Kids have to deal with the rejection of losing both parents, they have to put up with the changes their parents go through after that, they have to put up with being dragged back and forth from house to house - where is home??? , and if they are lucky, Mom or Dad starts bringing complete strangers home to act as psuedo-parents. These lucky kids get to be called "baggage" because they were created from two people that didn't make things work. This must make them feel marvelous. They don't get to form proper bonds to both parents (usually go to Mom) so Girls are not watched after as well as they should and have a huge viod that seems to need to be filled with "boys" (usually gets this from watching mom catting around. Boys miss out on forming identities through their father properly and suffer from either low self esteem or rage.
They asked for none of this, it was given to them by people who probably were not ready to take care of anyone else in the first place and now have invoved others...Who has the "Baggage" now?
2007-05-24 05:50:43 · answer #5 · answered by Kevin B 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No I don't think that kids are baggage. I think the unresolved issues that are in past relationships, that are brought to new or current relationships are baggage. I do think if you have kids or you date someone that has kids, he or she needs to except the fact that person has children and except their children as well. It is a package deal!
2007-05-24 05:35:06 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, if you love someone nothing about their life is baggage. Baggage is when a g/f, b/f clings to you so severely because the last person they were with cheated on them or dumped them in an unkind way. Baggage is when you insist the toilet paper be put on in a certain way because mom always did it that way.
2007-05-24 05:32:16 · answer #7 · answered by The Eight Ball 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I don't think my kids are baggage but I would be a fool to think that a man wouldn't be somewhat reluctant to get involved with someone with several kids. My only reluctance for dating a man with kids is what his relationship is like with their mother. If she is a pain in the butt and could possibly interfere, I honestly would have second thoughts about continuing dating that man.
2007-05-24 05:33:04 · answer #8 · answered by angelfish 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If they consider your children to be baggage then they are not the right person for you. I know many people who love the kids that were brought into the relationship and have no problems with the fact these children are not their biological children.
2007-05-24 05:32:20 · answer #9 · answered by devious_angel993 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
A one night stand would... what if the kids wake up and find mommy naked with a stranger?
Aside from that, there are many men who aboslutely adore children and would do anything to have kids. Some men desperately want to be fathers, in fact with my friends, women kinda of are thinking of motherhood, but men go gaga over kids, absolutely crazy, you can't take them away from children, they play with, coach, teach them stuff.
Men have egos that need a lot of stroking, and there is no ego massage in this world like being a dad. He teaches a kid to do something and the kid is excited and shows off and says you are the best. Even if the kid says nothing, a man becomes so proud and happy and smiling and feels that he is needed as a man and wanted.
I know a couple, the woman has the most amazing son, and you can't take her financee away from that kid. I think part of the reason he wants to marry her is that he wants to be that kid's father. That kid changed him, he is a lot calmer, relaxed and feels great about himself.
Then there are men who want to be kids and see the child as a rival. Those men, you should drop. Now you have your kids to protect you from them. Imagine the poor single women who they will make suffer from their immaturity and childish antics.
The majority of decent and mature guys WANT to be fathers, and some are on the desperate side, who really would do almost anything (not joking) to teach your son how to play baseball or help your daughter with her math problems.
Last thing, when I see a baby, my girlfriends say oh how cute and go back to what we were doing. Guys start making baby faces, drop what they are doing, and even act cookoo, just to get that baby to smile... which is when you take the latte away from him before he spills it on himself. If that's the majority of mature guys, pick one like that!
2007-05-24 05:51:14 · answer #10 · answered by Madame Y 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋