Atheists: "How happy would a firm atheist be if their child became a Christian?"?

Question

I just received the above question as an answer to my last question. And it made me wonder.

First, a little story. I'm an atheist, my girlfriend is a Christian. When I first came to this R&S section, it was to learn more about her religion. She read along with me, and many of the bad Christian answers made her doubt her faith. Really, deeply doubt her faith. I hated that, and did everything I could to make sure she remained a Christian, because I know that believing in a god makes her happy. Luckily she decided she didn't have to leave her faith.

But then again, maybe I'm a weird atheist, but I doubt it. Would you, as an atheist be very disappointed if your child or spouse chose to be a Christian?

**hands Debra some popcorn**

Answer 1

Honestly it would not bother me in the slightest. I was born christian (like most atheists) and had the freedom to decide by myself.

I understand that religion has its uses. While I personally disbelieve, that doesn't mean religion is pointless. However I feel that there is no correct religion and that one religion does not meet the needs of all the people. I fully understand why women have difficulties following a religion that does not have positive female role models. If my child decided that christianity did meet all his/her needs and made her happy--I'd be thrilled that my child was happy.

Now if my child decided that it was part of her religion to be disrespectful in my household and make every family gathering his/her personal soapbox to bash others and attempt to make them convert, I would have a complaint. Not in her religious preference but in her desire to manipulate others, her need to alienate her family, and her lack of understanding for others--for I raised him/her to care about those things. My problem would be with her behavior. Same as it would be if my child were to run off with a cult. It would be fine to worship the religion, but not at the expense of her life.

I am a firm atheist and nearly everyone I have dated has been a firm christian. One of the things I've always loved about them has been their christianity. I have doubts on how to raise my children b/c if they tell other kids they are "atheist" and don't believe--causing other kids to retort their classic line about burning in hell and never seeing your friends--they are too young to know about that. They will fear this hell and more importantly, feel different from their friends, without any idea of what those convictions are. They are too young to make choices like that. However once they are an adult and are making informed choices--I hope they make choices that will lead them to happiness. The road they chose may not be my road and it doesn't have to be the same choices I made. Thats why I'm American and live in the country of freedom. Like all parents I want my child to be happy, no matter what that means to her.

Answer 2

Well, do you really want my honest answer? I bet it won't be too popular.

As much as I'd love to agree with everyone and say yes I'd be happy. I can't lie. No, I would not be too happy at the idea of my kid (assuming I had one!) becoming a Christian because I know what happened to me when I was one. I would not want to see my kid go though that. I truly believe that Christianity is innately harmful and damaging; I seriously do not like what it does to most people. Most of the Christians I've known, are deep down not happy people. (Yes I know there's exceptions) I don't know, maybe I feel this way because I am an Ex-Fundie-Christian. I would however always love and support my kid, no matter what they choose to believe. A kid's got to make their own choices in life.

As for the part about how would I feel about my spouse (again assuming I had one!) converting to Christianity? Oh that's a little different, to be completely honest I wouldn't just be unhappy, I'd be down right mortified. I've had very negative experiences with Christians in the past. I'd be think "Oh ****!".

Answer 3

I'd wager that even the strictest Atheist parents would be more accepting of this than their Xtian counterparts, because Xtians have (in theory) a strict doctrine to follow and an authority to appease while Atheists do not. To the Xtian parents, the penalty is that their all-loving god sends their child's soul to suffer eternal torment and agony in Hell, whereas for the Atheist parents, the penalty is that their child is seduced by a mildly happy-making placebo and probably duped out of a portion of their income.

However, as an Atheist parent, I'd be crushed if my daughter decided to become a Xtian, and I wouldn't date/marry one (not because I'm intolerant, but simply because I'm more realistic than romantic and know it would drive us apart in the long run).

Answer 4

I'd be happy if my child was happy. If I have children, I intend to let them make their own minds up about religion, whether they be Christian, atheist, Buddhist, whatever. The only circumstance in which I wouldn't be pleased is if my child tried to convert me to their religion. I would teach them to respect other people's views, the way I would respect theirs.

Answer 5

No, not at all. I know that religion fills a need for alot of people who have an overwhelming fear of death and what may be beyond it. If they would be depressed after being force-fed logic, then how were they helped really? I have no desire to stamp out a nice harmless christian's sunny delusion. It's the militant ones with an agenda that worry me. I support my family's happiness, as long as it doesn't hurt them or anyone else.

Answer 6

Markyyy, I'm pround of you, hon. That was an honorable thing to do. I know this is coming out wrong, but I'm just trying to pay you a compliment for gently pushing your girlfriend to what you feel would truly make her happy.

I would want the same for my son. Of course, we are raising him Christian, but the choice is his. Right now, he's a little kid and doesn't know anything else. The choice that matters is the choice he makes when has all the options available. Does that make sense? HE has to choose for himself, and I will love him no matter what he chooses. I want him to be happy.

Answer 7

I guess I would be OK with it, as long as it was a conclusion my child reached without too much outside influence. I would hate it if my child were suckered by some slimy pastor who was just looking to add another notch to his spiritual belt. I would also be disappointed if my child ever became religious due to intellectual laziness. Other than those two reasons I would have no objection whatsoever.

Answer 8

Your question made me wonder ... How do atheists tell their children that God doesn't exist??? I suppose that the absence of telling is one way ... and another example is "Miracle on 21st Street" where the mother taught her child that Santa Clause doesn't exist ... but I'm now puzzled how an atheist would tell their child that God doesn't exist? First to tell the child that God doesn't exist, you need to tell the child what God is when another child speaks of God. So, do atheists frist tell childreen about God and then say, "He doesn't exist?"

Further, it is my belief that children are very close to God and often bring their parents to God. In which case, would an atheist be worried that their child might try to convert them to God?

Answer 9

Hey Markky, I wouldn't mind at all. I am an atheist as well, my boyfriend is a Christian. As long as my child was not hateful towards others I would be perfectly happy.

Answer 10

It shouldn't matter at all. It is up to your children to choose their own way in life and this includes their own spirituality. Would it matter if they chose a different religion, say Buddhism, Muslim, Hindu or Christian. It is their life and they have to find how to best develop their own spirituality. While parents may have preferences, they can dictate and to try would only drive a wedge between you and your child. I am Buddhist, but my child needs to find her own way. I certainly hope it is Buddhism, but if it is not, my love for her will not change.