Does spanking really work as punishment?

Question

i was having an argument with my boyfriend yesterday and he said that spanking only works with boys... when i was a kid it never worked with me. i always just ran to my mom and she comforted me. does it only work with boys?

my definition of works would probably be, stops the child from doing what they did wrong.

Answer 1

since your dad spanked you and you ran to your mom who comforted you, it shows that your parents didn't work as a team in raising you. that is why you are confused about raising children now.

i give my daughter warning first before spanking her... as in, "if you do that one more time, i will spank you." and if she does, I will spank her because I always follow through with what I say.

Now, if i say, "do that one more time and I'll spank you" she knows that i am telling the truth and she does not do it again.

if she runs to her dad, her dad will ask her, what did you do to make mom spank you? and vice versa if he spanks and my daughter runs to me.

my husband and i are always on the same page when it comes to raising the child. we also never argue in front of the child and we will never discuss displining in front of the child.

i've probably spanked her 3-4 times in her life and i will probably never need to spank her again because she listens to me.

Answer 2

Anything that discourages an undisired behavior is considered to be a discipline. Children respond differently to different disciplines. I do not believe that spanking shoud be used as an everyday discipline. I do believe if your child is defying your authority (you have said, "Do not touch this cup, it is special to me." and your child looks you in the eye and reaches out and touches the cup) they need a couple of swift swats on the behind. Not a beating, just enough to solicit a cry - get their attention. Here I cross the line - I do not believe in spanking with your hand. Your hands are for blessing and loving your child, they should never fear them. I used a wooden spoon on my children - never left a mark - but it always was in sight on the kitchen counter (until my son was seven and it disappeared lol). Use true time outs, take away farorite toys, restrict activities (remember not to take away a special priviledge already promised).
Each of these disciplines can work including spanking, but never discipline out of anger or as a last resort, be consistant and provide a united front. You are on the right track, when in doubt - find it out. Good luck

Answer 3

It really depends on the child. Some children are really scared of timeout and that does it for them. Others is a couple of taps on the behind. Of course one spanking or one timeout isn't going to stop the child from repeating a behavior. If you spank the child one time for him or her sayiong a bad word for example but then the next day you think its funny when they say it again and dont punish them. The behavior will continue so you need to be constant in what you are trying to teach your kids. And no spanking does not only work for boys, even though boys tend to get in more trouble and might get more spanking. lol Seriously though try different techniques, maybe taking away there toys or gameboys. One of my cousins laughs when he gets spanked so its usless. But as soon as you take away the tv he starts to cry. So again depends on the kid. and also Its not right to abuse your child and beat them. Theres a difference.

Answer 4

I've always thought spanking should be a last resort - but not completely out of the question. However, I now have a 3 1/2 year old who does not respond AT ALL to spanking. Putting him in the corner for a few minutes works much better. However, I'm sure there are kids out there who respond to it. Probably not the best method for any kid, but it's an option.

Answer 5

It depends on what the child did and of course the age of the child. time out, removing favourite toys and tv shows and other methods first before spanking. For teenagers - uh no way, get them where it hurts the most - remove privilidges - their access to the car, lower their curfew and other methods like that for that age.

A swat on the butt is ok, but an all out spanking is not a good thing as it is usually done in the heat of the moment when mommy or daddy is angry. A swat on the hand is ok, if they are about to do something dangerous. A verbal 'thrashing' is ok if a child gets mouthy. a kid i knew started saying the f-word over and over and her mother gave her a verbal thrashing. (looking back - the kid didn't realize what she was saying and my friend i think over reacted a little bit, as she was a little bit too loud. (the kid was 5)

Answer 6

Worked for me. My dad would spank me with his belt, and I can say he put the fear of God in me. And I can assure you I had nothing but respect for him growing up, and it certainly didn't "warp" me in any way. In my personal opinion, it's these no spanking fanatics that cause the kids of today to act the way they do. Give me a break.

I am a mother of a fairly well-behaved 4 year old girl. I think all kids are different and respond different to different punishments. If spanking makes your kids behave, then you should do. Not beat them by any means, but a swift slap on the bottom isn't going to make them grow up and be disturbed and beat others and end them in prison. My guess it would do the exact opposite. I don't spank my daughter that often, because she doesn't always respond to it very well. And when I do it, I hold her afterwards and we talk about it. I use time-outs more frequently because they scare her way more than spankings. And she doesn't do again what she did to get herself in a time-out before.

Answer 7

The answer is that you should look up what the psychologists have to say about it. I'll tell you what you will find when you do (though you shouldn't trust me - go look it up for yourself). The psychological research tells us that spanked children have more behavioral problems, not less, and more psychological problems. You wouldn't give your child medical treatment without considering the advice of doctors, so it only makes sense to consider the advice of psychologists before spanking them.

Also, anyone who doubts the strong connection between spanking and sex should google the word "spanking" and see how many sex sites they turn up. Something that a huge number of adults do for sexual pleasure is not something that you should be doing with your child.

As for the question of whether spanking is particularly appropriate for boys, boys who are spanked are much more likely to become violent offenders in later life, much more likely to beat their wives, and much more likely to end up in prison. Again, don't take my word for it - look it up.

Answer 8

It sure worked for me! lol If I would have ran to my mama for comfort I probably would have got it worse. I rarely even got spanked because I rarely disobeyed, I didn't want to get whooped. And I knew that was what was going to happen if I was really bad. When I lived with my uncle and aunt when I was three I got spanked with a switch one time only and that was all it took to get me straight. So, for me it worked well. But for some kids it doesn't because they don't care if they get spanked.

Answer 9

Worked on me. Never committed crimes, never beat anyone up, did not screw with my psyche. There is ALWAYS a line between a spanking and a beating.

Now of course you have to define what gets a grounding, spanking, things taken away, punishment to fit the crime and how many times the same isntance happens. My mom rarely spanked me because her guilt trips worked the heck out of me. I even got switchins from my grandma (Mississippi).

Answer 10

lol, Spanking works with girls too. Our 3 daughters will tell ya. a few keys for a more effective spanking

Never spank in the heat of the moment
Make spanking a consequence, not a reaction
Use spanking as a last resort, or for major rule breaking only.

Answer 11

Doesn't really matter what tpe of punishment you use. Its how you use it. If you give time out for bad language this time and not the next time its no use. If you spank for bad language and not the next time its no use.
Being consistant is the answer to discipline.
We seldom spank here. Mostly use time outs and loss of special events.
My hubby did spank our 10 yr. old for playing with fire ( matches ) that destroyed evergreen shrubs in the garden of the park near here few days ago. He also was grounded for a week. To me that was the best punishment for him. Just my opinion.