Been seeing my g/f for a few months now and everything seems to be goin great. The only thing is that we've never spoken bout her past. I know she had a b/f for about a year before she met me but don't know what happened between them to cause them to split. For some reason it annoys me that I dont know this. I suppose it's because i dont know how she felt for him or if she is still friends with him. Should I be feeling like this?
2007-05-24 04:15:12 · 40 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Have you talked about your past?
Are you concerned, or jealous?
Watch how she behaves around her long time friends.
2007-05-24 04:18:08 · answer #1 · answered by spam_free_he_he 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only thing that matters is whether or not she is trustworthy or not. Her past is irrelevant unless she still has feelings for this guy or if you're her rebound boyfriend. It's generally a touchy and difficult thing to talk about so ask her a few inocuous questions which might shed some light on how she may still feel about him, such as how long is your longest relationship? (presumably him). The tone of her voice answering these questions will tell you alot, longing, hatefull, etc.
2007-05-24 04:51:03 · answer #2 · answered by T M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you like her, and the two of you have a good relationship, then there should be no problem asking her about him. It's natural to be curious, and it all goes into finding out more about her, and who she is.
However, be prepared for something you don't want to hear. It's possible that they ARE still friends, or something like that. Maybe it's best that you know the circumstances now, before the two of you get even more serious.
2007-05-24 04:21:27 · answer #3 · answered by misguidedrose18 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Her past is just that....her past. I am sure you have a past yourself and I don't think you want her to know all your secrets either. You have to make a decision right now that you don't belong to her past....you belong to her future. If you like this girl (maybe even love her) then think about the fool who let her go and the lucky man you are for having her in your life.
I speak from experience when I tell you this as I had to do the same. I'm the lucky one.
Good Luck to you.
2007-05-24 04:20:23 · answer #4 · answered by ☆ Heavenly ☆ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly what you mean. My fiance waslike that about his ex-wife. I finally got it out of him by saying it was not fair that he knew all there was to know about my exs. Also I would shut up about it if he gave me a brief explanation of what happened. He gave me enough info that showed me she hurt him so bad and deeply that I don't ask any further questions. But I had to have some kind of information so I could understand him better and maybe not make the same mistake she did. I definitely wouldn't anyway, now that I know, but you should have some feeling for youir g/f's background.
2007-05-24 04:28:02 · answer #5 · answered by Kelly773 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its only been a few months since you started datting her.... She will tell you when and if things get seriouse between you too. Like getting married.. But right now its not up to you. It is in her past and not yours.. HAve you told her about your past relationships and how it went, ended and how you feel about your ex yet. If in a yr. you too are still together you can have a share it night and both of you talk about your past relationships. PPL date thats what they do , so dude get over it for now....
2007-05-24 04:20:55 · answer #6 · answered by jamz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Human beings are naturally curious (some more than others) so this curisoity is normal. However you shouldn't push the issue. Obviously she liked the guy pretty well to stay within for about a year, and obviously they had their problems to cause a break-up, that should be enough for you until she feels she wants to share more. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-05-24 04:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by tersey562 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how hard it can be to want to know everything about the person that you are with, but there are some things that you will never know...and some things that you will find out in time....
Instead of getting so worried about it, concentrate on your future, and go day to day...maybe there is something in her past she is ashamed of, or is afraid you will not understand. Share stories of your past, and see how her reactions are to that.....ask about her family, or high school, or her first trip...and then see if starting easy, will open up to harder things.
2007-05-24 04:21:10 · answer #8 · answered by Reda T 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have you even asked, or are you simply worried because she hasn't brought it up?
If you're curious, you can say, "I'm curious about your previous relationship. What do you feel caused the breakup?" If she says she doesn't want to talk about it, let it go.
Lots of things can go wrong in a relationship. Usually both partners are at fault. Usually people learn from their mistakes. You shouldn't pursue this if she doesn't want to talk about it. Just focus on the problems/happiness in the current relationship.
2007-05-24 04:19:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm going to tell you the same thing I told my fiancee, don't ask a question if you REALLY don't want to know the answer. When someone doesn't talk about their past it's because they are over and doone with that part of their life and your bringing it up isn't helping them move on. When she ready she will tell and if she never does don't be angry. My fiancee pushed and pushed me to talk and when I did he was hurt and upset. It's not worth disrupting your happiness for something that is no longer part of her.
2007-05-24 04:19:35 · answer #10 · answered by curious1 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's okay to feel a bit of insecurity about your partner's past, but it shouldn't consume you or hurt your relationship. After all, she's chosen to be with you and not the old boyfriend, right?
Communication is important in a relationship, so ask your girlfriend about this in a non-judgemental way.
2007-05-24 04:18:55 · answer #11 · answered by manatee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋