How f'ed up is this??

Question

Ok a guy I am really good friends with is in love with me and wants to be with me. I would like to have the same thing. However, he is married and the wife is pregnant. Not sure if the kid is his or not. He is leaving her anyways but I don't know if I can deal with all of this. I love this man very much and have never felt as close to him as I have towards anyone in my life. But when it starts out this way is it doomed from the start? I am totally confused cause my heart wants one thing and my head says I'd be a darned fool to put myself through this.

Answer 1

Well it all depends on how much you love this guy and just how much you’re willing to put on the line. How much are you willing to risk to take a chance on love with this guy. Would the struggle be worth it if things were in fact rocky for a little while? As long as the bond between the two of you is strong enough, it is said that love conquers all. Who knows if there will be any problems anyways... it’s the chance you’re going to have to take if you want a life with this man. One way to avoid any mess, for starters, definitely don’t get too far in until the wife is out of the picture or else you’re going to have to deal with her. Be prepared if in fact he is the father of this woman’s child because you’re going to have to be able to cope with the fact that him and his ex are going to have to maintain a relationship for the sake of the child. Whatever it is that ends up happening, just remember, if you go into this with a negative attitude then you can expect negative results. Just go into this with your head held high and only the best intentions for you and this man. Good Luck with everything.

Answer 2

Girl, wake up! The guy is using you. Use your head. When in doubt...DONT. IF (and that is a BIG IF) he is going to divorce his wife, then step back out of the way and let him do it. Chances are he is lying about that...just some guys have a problem sexually when the wife is pregnant and like to have a little something on the side to relieve stress. Don't get caught up in the middle because the way it appears is that you will be the "fall" person WHEN he gets caught (and he will)....you will get the blame from him and the wife (that he will not leave). He is using you in two ways...sexually or to boost his ego AND to take the blame for his social mishap when he gets caught at it.

Answer 3

It's funny how I just posted a question similiar to yours except he isn't married and we were together for 4 1/2 years and not the "other woman" is pregnant. My suggestion is to talk with him about it. I would go directly into any relationships with him, only because children make a lot of a difference when couples are determining if they are going to leave or stay and the last thing you want to happen is him changing his mind. If he does leave her, have him show you a divorce decree before you make that next move.

Answer 4

This is a bad situation to be in, and you were smart enough to have already figured out that any relationship you start with this guy carries a whole lot of baggage with it. Don't commit yourself too soon. Try to ride things out for a while. These things tend to become clearer with time. If he's leaving this woman, I'd ask him to get a paternity test. If he can make as clean a break as possible from this girl, it would make things easier. Good luck!

Answer 5

think about it.. real hard. before u do anything, think of the consequences. opportunity's not there all the time. he might be gone if u dont go for it.. but if u do, that's gonna be the same as asking for a whole bunch of problems. why did he get married to her and wants to leave her? watch out. he might be inlove with u now and leave u later when he falls inlove again with someone else. but i dont know u, and i dont know him. i cant judge u. maybe he's for real. pray about it. and dont always follow your heart.. coz even though love is a very good thing sometimes, it DOES NOT conquer all... it wont get u through everything ;) good luck

Answer 6

It does sound like quite a bit of drama. I think your head might be right about this one. If you do decide to pursue it, I would give it some time. It probably isn't a good idea for him to start a relationship right after a divorce. If you both really do love each other, waiting won't hurt.

Answer 7

Step back from the situation. He has a preggers wife. He might be freaking out about being a daddy. Sometimes guys also try to act like the kid isn't theirs to justify their wandering affections.

Run, woman!! Run!!

"If he's married, hear me well: cool it, dearie, and run like hell!"

You'll never be sure he wouldn't do the same thing to you. Besides, you don't need that bad karma on you. Some gal might do the same to you in the future, and you won't like that none.

Answer 8

Why do you want to be with a little boy pretending to be a man? A man would not sleep with a woman he's going to divorce. A man would not get that same woman pregnant. You realize that he's cheating on her with you and on you with her? He seems to be playing both of you along.

Do you want a man who's already lied to one woman, is leaving her and his kid (it's his kid), and can't keep a commitment? Do you really think he won't do the same thing to you?

Answer 9

If he's not emo don''t do it..... Plus what makes you think he won't do the same to you? You've gotta think! That guy is an *** wipe anyways if he's leaving his pregnant wife for you. Not saying your not good enough or anything but trust me you can and will do better. Love is nothing but a emotion and honey it will surely fade.

Answer 10

A womans heart is like a guys penis they are both wrong. Dont f#$k up your life. He's lied to his wife (how hurt is she right now) thats gonna be you when he's sick of you. Run from this loser you know its wrong to stay. Sure you will be sad for a month but when you look back think of how proud you will be of your self. It's self esteem get some. You seem smart prove it.