Are these indications of my boyfriend's intolerance of my religious beliefs?

Question

My boyfriend is Baptist and I am Atheist. We took a day trip one day and I brought along the book The God Delusion by Richard Dawkins and my boyfriend was utterly appalled upon reading the jacket of the book. He said it was disgusting. I reminded him literally 'not to judge a book by its cover' since he had not read its contents. Yesterday I purchased Letter to a Christian Nation by Sam Harris and was reading it while he was in the shower this morning. He jokingly said not to read those kind of books while he was around. He did say this playfully and I just brushed it off but I am worried that he will become increasingly intolerant of my beliefs with the more he learns about how strongly I feel about the subject of religion.

We plan on being married one day and having children together. I know this can be resolved because he actually is a very understanding person but I would like to resolve it before it comes a bigger issue in our relationship.

I thought about asking him to read one of the books. Probably Letter to a Christian Nation since it is shorter, to the point, and well written. I thought of making a compromise and saying that if he read a book about my beliefs, I would re-read the Bible.

The reason I would like him to read a book about my beliefs though is not to convert him but merely to help him understand why I believe what I do and why I don't believe what I don't.

Answer 1

if you were willing to read HIS books, in this case i guess that would mean the bible, and take it as serious as you would expect him to take your book, then you two should be fine. so long as you both have an equal understanding of each others beliefs and decide up front how you want to raise you child you shouldnt have too many problems. regardless of your beliefs, religion is a touchy subject for anyone, so there are gunna be times that you clash. just remember that he feels as strongly about his beliefs as you feel about yours, and neither one is right/wrong

Answer 2

Why don't you read "The case for a creator" by Lee Strobel and then have a talk.

I would also reconsider marrying a Christian if you are an atheist, he will return to God even if you get him to stray from him for a while. I am not saying this to be mean, I was married to someone that I found out later was not a real Christian, we divorced after a few years and I have never been the same.

I would also think about how you look at your boyfriend, you come accross as thinking he is less mature or intelligent when you speak of him. I would reconsider your path. All of us Christians are not ignorant, knuckle dragging, right wing nuts, some of us have real reasons for our beliefs other than but not discluding faith.

Also look into the kalam principle of cosmology, irreducably complex machines within our bodies that can not have evolved, and all the other scientific knowledge that points to God.

Good luck.

God Bless

Answer 3

Naturally when two people with completely opposite "religious" beliefs get deeply involved, there will be issues. Those issues will only increase the more time you spend together and the more comfortable you become with one another, particularly if you get married. Marriages go through changes anyways, even when there is not such a GIANT obstacle in the way. Imagine if you decide to have children, what will they be taught?
Ideally your mate and you share the same beliefs, and those are what you can share with your children, as well as share with each other.
My advise would be to re-think the relationship and long term affects that might result from this.
Best wishes-

Answer 4

How comfortable would you be in reading a book that completely contradicts all that you believe? I think it's hard for people to read something that goes against everything that they believe in, particularly if it was something that they were raised believing.

I'd encourage the two of you to have a long discussion of whether or not you can both accept the others beliefs. It would be wise to also talk about how you're going to raise your children as it will be a very hot topic later on if you don't have it before you kids.

Good luck! I hope you guys find a happy medium.

Answer 5

My heart goes out to you both!!!!!

Oh Christy....even if the Bible didn't tell the Believers NOT to marry someone whom WASN'T a believer, and "why", from my own experience, when I chose to marry an unbeliever anyway, it was a disaster waiting to happen for EACH of us!

Every time your boyfriend sees your books, the Holy Spirit is "convicting" him....it literally "hurts"....and whenever he says something about it to you, you are "hurt" by his attitude and unwillingness to look at it YOUR way!

This will lead to your both being "silent" about what bothers you or not....and, for a time, you may be able to have a relationship, but, there is a great LIE within it because of your differing beliefs....

....and, whenever your boyfriend goes to church, or meets with another Believer, he will be hurt over and over because he is torn between his love for you and his love for Jesus....

....when you are in Yahoo Answers, and you SEE how it is between Christians and Athiests.....that is what you face if you should marry a Believer....worse yet, the very things you LOVE about him may CHANGE if he gives up his Faith....

I am truly sorry, but this is Truth...not only as I see it from my own personal experience, but, from what I have seen through various other relationships of people I have known.

When we love someone, we lie to ourselves and each other when we say "it doesn't matter", or, "we're different, it won't happen to us".

What kind of foundation to a relationship will this be for the two of you or for a poor child brought into the world within it?

Seek within your heart, and go in peace....

Answer 6

That sounds like a good compromise you came up with. I hope he takes you up on it. If he refuses, it would seem to be the sign of worse things to come. I have known happily married couples where one was a christian of one sort or another and the other is an atheist. It can work, but it takes a lot of tolerance and acceptance on both parts. It sounds like he's not really so accepting though.

Answer 7

I think you are whipping a dead horse. If I were you I would have a sit down and no holds barred thrashing of the differences. Children will just complicate the problem. While my wife and I were able to make it through the difficulties, I have to point out that she is not your "ordinary" woman. Resolve it one way or another BEFORE marriage and kids. If you don't the marriage will be hell on earth for both of you.

Answer 8

Unless you are willing to compromise with his beliefs and not just have it him compromising with yours, don't bother marrying. Kids are going to complicate this so much, are you sure you want to go there? And I assume you are living together before marriage, by the sound of it. So he is not as devout as he could be. A lot of times the people who are not devout are the most reactionary. You guys are in for it, that is all I can say.

Answer 9

I am Atheist and my wife is Christian and are very happy after 15 years of marriage so it can work out. My Dad was atheist and my mother was Christian and they were married for over 60 years before they died.

If James Carville and Mary Matalin can be happily married anything is possible.

Answer 10

I'm divorced... mainly for the fact that I'm an atheist, and my ex was a Methodist.

I must note, however, that she was also pretty dumb. Seriously. She was not very well educated, and she had a lot of trouble grasping big concepts, which is why I couldn't make her understand the science and such that disproves the bible.

If your boyfriend does not have that handicap, you may have a different outcome.