Why do so many want to stand in the way of love?

Question

I read through the answers to a question just asked about a non-believer and a Christian getting married. I'm in the same situation, and I found it actually sad that so many said either "he needs to find someone else" or "he's not gonna marry you unless you're on fire for the lord."

Why? Why should religion stand in the way of true love? I fervently believe my fiancee is my true love, and we were meant for each other. So what if I don't believe? He doesn't mind it. So how could anyone be so hurtful as to say things like that?

How does anyone know they "will not mix" unless they've been in this situation? And I do understand how religious people think - I used to be one. Love is love, isn't it?

I'm 35, he's 36. We're not a pair of teenagers here.

Answer 1

Take heart, hun. Of course it can work out. I have been married to a christian man for over 10 years, and we have two lovely daughters. Just ignore the naysayers. If you love and respect each other, it's all you need.


((((((((((((big hugs))))))))))))))

Answer 2

What?!? If you're in love and you want to get married, then get married. Why waste time bickering about silly philosophical crap? And why bother asking other people what they think? Other people will f*ck up your relationship every freakin' time if you let them. Jeez!

If you truly believe that your fiancee is your true love and that you were meant for each other, then what the heck difference does anything else make? So what if you believe different things? BFD!!! It's not like one of you is an ax-murderer and there are actual bodies buried in the back yard (and other couples have actually managed to make that situation work).

Love each other. Get married. Treat each other well. Have a good life. Tell anybody who doesn't like it to kiss your @ss!

Answer 3

Oh, geeze. Not to the Asker, but some of the answers. People of different religions/non-religious marry all the time. As long as both parties have discussed the non-belief or belief, there shouldn't be a problem. What anyone else thinks doesn't matter, as long as the couple is happy. You should however, have a discussion as to how future children will be raised, so you don't have a big blow-out when the time comes.

Good luck to you! Be happy! And don't worry about what others think. You and your spouse will be the only ones living with your decision.

Answer 4

Love

Answer 5

You mean fiance, right? Anyway, in the beginning before you get married everything always seems rosy and lalalalalala.

The fact is though, that when both parents share a different religion, the children will often go with the religion of the father, unless the mother takes away the kids and gets a divorce, but even then it's going to be messy.

In my religion, Islam, it is allowed for a man to marry a non-Muslim woman only if she is one of the "people of the Book", which refers to either Christians or Jews that follow their religion closely. But it is not allowed for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man, because of the fact that in most cases the children will follow the religion of their father. If a Muslim woman marries a non-Muslim man she brings dishonor to her family and it's something that is actually prohibited by Islam.

There was a case of a Indian or Pakistani Muslim woman in England who married a white British guy who was non-Muslim and the family got so mad that one of them went after them and killed them. In our mindset we would call this barbaric and a murder and all that, and indeed I don't think that is the right way to deal with that issue, but it just shows you how serious an issue it is for a Muslim woman to marry a non-Muslim man - it is very serious and it's like she totally renounced her religion.

So to answer your question, nobody can prevent you from marrying who you feel is right for you, but you should tread very careful when marrying someone who has a different set of beliefs than you. Because a person's religion is manifested in a person's behavior and way of life, and if you don't think it's important to know about that then I think you need to reconsider the matter.

Answer 6

HI Reec...... This is a very delicate ? I feel for you ,,, since you are asking you must want the truth.... [religion is not of GOD ALMIGHTY] religion meaning ,something that you do over and over and over again... I will say like the catholic religion , there leaders tell the people to pray the rosary over and over and over again and pray to there idols , the reason I say these its cause i used to be a catholic so I know.. The only place where religion is use , JESUS is telling us to take care of the widows and the orphans and the lame religiously over and over... Now I have a relationship with GOD . .. CHRISTIANS meaning JESUS CHRIST followers... By THE WORD OF GOD I can say that JESUS speaking saying dont get equally yoke with a non-believer ... that is what JESUS says.... perhaps you might want to ask your boyfriend if it true ...just look it up ... listen I believe that the LORD has touched your heart already by falling in love with your Christian bfriend and he with you I believe that you see all the good and greatness the LORD has done in him that one day you will become a Christian like you bfriend ,You have put your foot forward and now you cant go back MAY GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR LOVE ONE PEACE AND JOY

Answer 7

I think others see what you can't.
And that is, that if he is really a believer, your differences will in time be divisive. It's not that he is right and you are wrong or vice versa, it's just that mature people can see that this is a FUNDAMENTAL difference.

It's not like one of you is cold-natured one of you hot, or one of you is a meat-&-potatoes person and the other is a vegetarian, one of you a cat person and the other a dog-lover. This is much bigger than that.

This is a significant and FOUNDATIONAL difference in your beliefs/values systems....and though you may be young now, these things become more pronounced with time.

I too would be among those urging both of you to reconsider. For both of your sakes. If he is truly a believer, he will want you to eventually believe as he does and will want to raise children who believe as he does. In times of sorrow or suffering, his default will be a different one than yours. In celebrating, his Christianity will play a significant role in his life. It's not fair to you if he is constantly trying to "win you over" to his way of believing.

But if he's not a true Christian, then it really doesn't matter.

Answer 8

Because sometimes love alone doesn't make any relationship work. I am not saying yours will or won't but, there comes a time when people realize there is more, and don't know what more is. Everything they have tried, has failed.
I hope you and yours will be strong and find what it is that you need to keep you together and that you stay away from failure.
Best wishes!

Answer 9

I understand your feelings, believe me. I'm a Pagan married to an atheist. My mom's a lapsed Pentecostal who's been engaged to a lapsed Catholic forever. And I agree, love should be respected. My main concerns would be whether you could respect each other after marriage, and how you'll raise kids (if any.)

Answer 10

Some of those answers were just plain mean spirited. If a couple is truly comitted to making it work, then religion (or lack thereof) should not get in the way. My husband and I are both on different spiritual paths, and we will celebrate our 10th anniversary in August.

Answer 11

It is a deep rooted fear among the religions to marry an out-group. For centuries upon centuries, it was expected to marry in-group. Don't ask me why. But it is still prevalent these days. Especially in the Jewish community.