What would you do in this situation?

Question

I am a very proud Wiccan....My husband is reading my books as well and it looks as though he wants to follow me on this path, which makes me very happy................
My husband has a daughter from his previous marriage, and he has just "found" her after about 7 yrs...she is now 15......She has been looking for him for years too, but the mother kept them apart...
They have been having weekly phone calls, they text and email eachother and things are going great for them!!
My problem is this.....She is a devout Christian!!!!
What am i going to do? I do not want to hide my faith from anybody!!!! I am very proud and happy of the path i am walking in this life!!
But
How do you think she will take the step mother being a REAL WITCH???
I dont want to jepordise my husbands relationship with her!
But as i said i dont want to hide in the broom cupboard either!!
Help!?

I am humbled by all the beautiful answers i am getting! Thank you all sooo Much!! It is good to hear others oppinions when you truly have a problem!
Bright Blessings to you all!

Answer 1

Hey Goodlooking,

I told my Missionary Aunt before I told my mother about my path. At the same time, I also took advantage of the moment to tell her how much I respected what she had done because of the strength of her faith.

I also asked if she'd be OK teaching my daughter about X-ianty if she was interested (which she did).

She's not happy with the situation but respects my right to believe differently.

Answer 2

Well, this is always going to be a rough spot for anyone who chooses alternative religions. It sounds like your husband is taking his time getting to know his daughter, which is a good thing. If he is wanting to grasp onto the Wiccan religion as well, it's not just "your" religion any longer, and if she loves her father (which it sounds like she does) then maybe it will be a little easier for her to accept the religion you both have chosen. The only thing I can suggest is to just be yourself. She is young and impressionable, and if you can show her that believing in a different religion doesn't make you a bad person (which I know you are not) then maybe she will be a little more understanding. Don't hide who you are. Be honest with her. If she has questions, answer them with light and with love, but don't force the issue either. Feel her out to see if she is so devout that she is blinded by her religion, and if there are issues, try to sit her down with your husband and explain to her that, though you have respect for her religion, you have found your own path, and if it is something that offends her, then kindly let her know that just because you have different beliefs, it does not mean you can not have love for each other, however out of respect for eachother, maybe your religions should not be a topic of converstation in order to avoid conflict. It's a matter of her accepting you for who you are and vise versa. I think we both know through Leanne that you can not make someone understand. You can only hope that they will accept the fact that you are a good person, no matter what your beliefs are. Do not hide it from her, but let her be the first to bring it up out of her own curiosty. I hope this helps, even if it's just a little. For the small amount of time that I've known you, I see light and love in your heart, and even though she is devout Christian, if she is an open person, she will see that too.

Answer 3

Sounds pretty rough. I can try to give some advise, but I don't know how much it will help...

I would say to not necessarily lie low with it, but at the same time, don't screamingly advertise the fact that you are a Wiccan. I don't want to phrase this incorrectly. It is awesome that you are so confident in your religion...I wish I had that same vigor.

One thing that you definitely should NOT do is call yourself a "witch". I'm not condemning you for it, but it has a VERY negative connotation to it, just because of nursery rhymes and such, even if those potrayals are not completely true, if they are at all.

Also, don't try to attack her religion, even if she attacks yours. Its very similar to say, someone being gay with a straight Christian friend. If the straight friend says that homosexuality is wrong, the gay person calling the Christian a "breeder" is not going to help. Try to take it all in stride, even if she is very bitter about it.

What I would try very hard to do is let her get to know you as a person, without saying that you are a Wiccan right off the bat. It is harder to reject you or your husband on the basis of your religion if she knows you as a person first and likes you for it. Being a Wiccan is a PART of who you are, not ALL you are. Try to help her understand this.

Also - she may be more accepting than you expect! I know that the stereotypical Christian is not, but that doesn't mean that this one isn't. She, as a teenager, may have a more open mind, and may be more accepting of you as a whole. I personally am a very devout Christian, and my best friend on the entire planet is a Wiccan - I may be an exception, but then again I may not be.

And, worst comes to worst, I guess she can't really do too much. That's not a good mentality to have at first, but in the end, if she doesn't like you, she doesn't like you, and life goes on. I don't think that she'll like her father any less.

Hope that helps, and sorry for writing too much! Good luck!

Answer 4

A lot of people will say that honesty is the best policy in these situations, but I don't know if that's always the case.

I am *still* hiding my religion (or lack thereof) from my parents because I simply don't think they could handle knowing that I am not a Christian. They're having enough problems knowing that my brother turned away.

Still, the daughter is not exactly in a position of authority, so the reversed power relationship would make your situation easier to cope with. Her father, and to a lesser extent you, could help ease her into the the fact that not everyone is interested in joining her religion. She might even turn out to be sympathetic to that idea--not all Christians are fundamentalists, you know. Not even all of the devout ones.

I'd wait a bit and gather more information on how she would likely react before doing anything. Maybe telling her would be okay, and maybe just avoiding the subject of religion would work, too.

Answer 5

I don't see where the problem would truly be.

If I were you, I wouldn't label my spiritual path when speaking with her. Let her see the life you lead - explain by example. There are many many similarities between Christianity and Wicca. I would also allow HER to come to the conclusion about what your religion is. When questioned - you can be vague but truthful and you don't need to hide it.

I do this all the time. I never hide my spiritual choice but I don't go around flaunting it either. When questioned I explain what I believe without labels. People tend to be more open-minded than if I just profess - "I'm a witch!"

Bright Blessings to you Ariel.

Answer 6

Even though you do not want to "hide in the broom closet", that would probably be the best course of action until she gets to know you without the stigmatized label advertised proudly. Wicca is awesome, I wish I was able to freely delve into it, but my spouse disaproves. Not because of a conflicting religion, but because of fear of being turned into a frog or something silly like that. I would be friendly and loving towards her, and as she notices and asks about the symbols and charms most likely displayed in your home's decor, explain what they are for (luck, love, prosperity and such). It will be a good idea if you don't call yourself a "witch" right away either, I'd say "wiccan" if asked directly. Good luck.

Answer 7

I think that you two should get to know each other before talking about religion. If she has already judged you based on who you are, this superficial "difference" will not be as important.

You should also be sure to show interest in her religion and in helping her follow it. She probably isn't mature enough to reciprocate, but perhaps she will at least learn about your faith and accept it if you are obviously willing to accept hers.

Plus, she's fifteen. She might not ACTUALLY be a devout Christian. It may have just been a social thing. Just give her a chance. You never know until you talk. One thing you CAN'T do is hide it from her. You must be completely honest if you ever want to gain her trust and respect in any way.

Personally, I wouldn't worry about it because things will play out how they will play out, no matter what you do.

Answer 8

I am a witch. My daughter is a devout Catholic, as is my ex.

We have had good conversations regarding why I chose this path. My only attitude toward religion that I expressed to my daughter is this: "Please, please believe what you believe. Please don't ever get though, to the point that your belief in your religion causes you to think that everyone else must be wrong."

You don't have to go into the broom closet. Legally, your religion cannot be a cause for your husband to be refused visitation.

At 15, his daughter is now beginning to understand the various religions. I would show her your character, and leave religion out of it for now. Don't hide it, but don't make it a point of discussion. I wouldn't cover up an altar during visits, but I wouldn't point it out. I wouldn't replace Pagan bling with Christian Jewelry, but I wouldn't purposefully wear my largest pentacle for a visit. I wouldn't hide my library, but I wouldn't purposefully place books by Crowley ro Buckland on the coffee table.

In short, be yourself and don't purposefully make religion the topic of conversation. If it comes up, discuss attitudes rather than doctrine. Talk about similarities rather than conflict. Don't malign her faith, but talk about the beauty of both.

It doesn't hurt to become familiar with Christianity. Read the gospels and find the gems that Jesus spoke; many of them would serve anyone well. As a historical figure, he had much to say that is worthy.

Religion needn't be a wedge. It may be for the Christian, but this girl is still his daughter. If she experiences love and acceptance from her father, whatever his faith, that is a good thing. The mother may have problems, but the daughter is old enough to recognzie honesty and love.

Answer 9

Well I don't believe that Wiccan's are real witches. I showed some aptitude when I was young and a real witch worked with me for awhile. I did not hear the word Wiccan until it became a popular religion.

Most Christians are taught that witchcraft is a sin so if the girl believes you are a witch she has a responsibility to tell you that you are sinning. She also has a responsibility to be non-judgmental about it and love the sinner while hating the sin.

That is really tough for a 15 year old and some people who never emotionally matured over 13.

I would handle it the same way my wife and I handle homosexuals with our daughter. We explain that homosexuality is a sinful choice, but, that there is nothing wrong with homosexuals even though Darwinism teaches homosexuals are defective. Homosexuals are sinners, just like everyone else and we still have to love the sinner and hate the sin.

If the girls mother never matured past 13, or if the church family are immature Christians and cannot get past being judgmental you will have a problem. If the girl is not firmly rooted in God, that is a problem I would hate to wish on anyone. that whole "back by 3" rule turns into something like "back by 12".

God put you here to make a choice in your life. You have to make that choice and be who you are. You can't be someone else just because someone would like you to be. You have to make your own choices and live with the results.

Or, you could become Christian and be forgiven :-)

Answer 10

I am a christian. I used to practise Wicca before I "got saved". This is a tough question and probably very unsettling for you. As a christian myself and a former teen, I'm thinking how your step-daughter will feel about your beliefs. Teens can be very "up and down" with their emotions (I didn't know how else to explain it) They can get very passionate about something without complete understanding it. If you are proud of your religion, don't hide it. She may lash out at you or come at you without being very loving towards you but, it also may be because she lost her father for 7 years and you have a close relationship with him that maybe she wished she had.