I have a neighbor across the street who calls on me at all hours to take care of her 4 year old. Both of my children are grown and I'm at home most days. She knows that and takes advantage of it.
I suppose if she conpensated me for my time and pay me something I wouldn't be quite so resentful. There's a lot of things myself that I'm not able to get done because I'm babysitting.
I love the little boy. He's special needs and is a very loving child but he can be a real handful too.
My question is how should I handle this. I think it would really hurt the friendship if I told her I wouldn't be able to watch her child unless she paid me for babysitting services. Thanks for any advice you could offer.
2007-05-24 01:59:46 · 5 answers · asked by seashell 6 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Toddler & Preschooler
Honesty is always the best policy. I'm a youth minister at a church, and we consistently run into issues where it appears that someones feelings are going to get hurt. I've learned that there are ways of being honest without crushing someone. My guess is that the mother keeps coming to you because she knows that you have a big heart and you won't turn her away. People come to the church asking for food or help with rent, because "The church can't turn me down. Helping is what they do." However, there comes a point when helping isn't really helping anymore. Helping is allowing a deeper issue or problem to become more harmful. I think that's what you are looking at. You don't want to aid the mother's immaturity. You do want to help, but you want to help her and son be better people and contributors to society. Explain to her how you feel. Let her know that you feel used. If you don't mind watching the child tell her under what circumstances and times you will keep her son, and don't be ashamed to mention reimbursement for your time. You have a life as well! Don't let your good nature and caring heart cause you to be preyed upon by those who aren't that way! God Bless!
2007-05-24 02:18:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she's taking advantage of your friendship. Does she spent time with you other than dropping off and picking up her child? If not, then telling her you want to be paid to baby sit will not hurt your friendship, cause there's not much of one there to begin with.
Next time she asks you to watch her son and you have something you planned on doing, even if it was just gardening or something, tell her no you have plans. If she gets a little insistant or trys a guilt trip, tell her that if she expects you to be a regular sitter, you would like to talk about setting up a fee and regular hours.
2007-05-24 09:20:16 · answer #2 · answered by spunion 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is hard for us to communicate the way we feel to others. Mostly because of fear that we will hurt their feelings, or it will be taken out of context, and some of us just have trouble verbalizing what we think and feel. You should invite her over one day for coffee, tea or something. Set her down and explain to her that you love spending time with her son, but you feel that there are things that you aren't getting done. Also tell her nicely that if she wanted to hire you as a permanent babysitter, you could discuss rate of pay and hours with her. This is a "nice" way of letting her know you will not do it for free anymore.
2007-05-24 11:58:09 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I say talk to her. Be blunt because she'd never see that coming, then in your own way tell her you need one day off from babysitting. That way once per week you can fix your house or whatever. You sound like you don't want to give up babysitting so I say do it in shifts. There is always the weekend or you can get her to clean your house :)
2007-05-24 09:09:57 · answer #4 · answered by Tomas Q 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You should just tell her you're busy....no need to use you like that.
2007-05-24 09:58:32 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋