Are you a single parent?

Question

Do you feel suffocated sometimes
Does it get easier
I'm so fed up with being by myself..
Do you or have you felt like this

I have 3 children and no support whatsoever,
My ex didn't want to know the children and when I asked him to help I was told to leave him alone cos I was a fruitcake
I have no parents,
This feels like a life sentance

Answer 1

yes
yes
yes
yes! just hang in there

Answer 2

In answer to your questions: yes i am, yes i do, alot of the time..

Its tough being a single parent even at the best of times. I have 2kids myself so i can imagine how you feel with 3.. You say you have no parents, is there any group in your area that can help you out? or friends who would babysit to give you some time to yourself? The father of my kids is no longer involved either but while i used to get upset about this a lot i don't anymore, i have come to realise that its his loss not mine. At the end of the day you have your children, it will only be hard for a certain amount of time, i find that as my kids get a bit older its getting easier, they are now 6 and 3. Have you thought about seeing a counsellor? Would you think about doing a course of some sort? I am in college and i always seem to be busy so feeling by myself is not something that really occurs to me. I know its tough but taking the first few steps to sort your life out will make the world of difference in the end. good luck xx

Answer 3

Single parenting is hard. I had a good friend that went threw it the same time I did, and after the kids were put to bed at night, we would call and cry on each others shoulders. We call it our years in "baby jail", but it does get better. They become independent and want nothing to do with you, and then you just worry. It goes fast. Being by myself as a parent was great, no one to give their opinion on what to do with my child. When you do get involved with someone, and they want to be involved with the child, it is unclear on what they can or cannot do, and trust me I had alot of fights over the cannot do's. Please try joining the single parent groups for support, it will make it easier for you to hear how others feel the same way. Good luck and this too shall pass...

Even though he called you a fruitcake...you should take him to child support court, the money always helps with the overwhelming feeling of having to take care of everything alone. Your children need you to be strong and happy, and they know when your faking it. It is up to you to find how to get yourself out of this, so you don't end up worse. Trust me, been, there done it, got the t-shirt.

Answer 4

Yes - I work full time, so that is essentially my "me" time away from my child and home. I do still feel the same way you described though. Luckily I do have family who help out, and are willing to occasionally watch my daughter so I can do something on my own, even if it's something that needs to be done, like shopping, but at least I'm still by myself for a short time. Maybe you could meet some other moms and trade sitting or something. They could watch your kids for a short time, even if it's just a couple of hours, and you could do the same for them. Then you are trading and you won't have to pay a sitter or daycare. Find something to do on your own, and also try to enjoy being the mom you are now. Before you know it, as aggravated as you are now, your kids will be grown up and you'll miss not having them around. Try to balance things a bit, so you are happy, which will make your life and your kid's lives happier.

Answer 5

Yes hun I am a single parent..........(not by choice - he had the affair!)

All the things you list are true, you will feel suffocated and at times get really fed up - But this would also be true if you where in a loving relationship or didn't have any kids.

These are just normal feelings hun and everybody gets a little bit down now and again. You will get through it you have to because your kid(s) need you and you in turn need them!

Things will work out - you've just got to dust yourself off and get on with it - nothing is every really that bad!

Answer 6

Oh yeah - I've done the single parent thing for almost 13 years.

Bad news - Your nerves will be commonly frayed. When my son was a toddler, I didn't just want to shake him; I wanted to take him down to Lowes and put him in the industrial paint shaker. (Everyone calm down; I'm kidding).
Good news - gets easier as they get older. Ages 2-4 was godawful. 7-11 pretty nice. At 13, he's got a tude, but overall pretty self sufficient. I can date, go out with pals, have an adult life.

My advice - you HAVE to make adult time or your head will explode. Find a friend, a babysitter, a neighbor. Someone that can watch 'em for at least a few hours. Take that time to do what you want. Its not independence by any means, but it's a break. Better yet - find other single parents you can hang with - maybe take turns watching one another's kids.

Answer 7

Yep I done it on my own for a couple of years. Ask for help, get the kids minded. I know it can be lonely and your brain can turn all mushy from lack of adult conversation. You know how I know you will be fine- You are a mum and you can and are doing it on your own- that is bloody brilliant!!!!

I got a part time job when my son was 1+1/2 and it gave me a chance to be myself and get out of the house. It led to
me meeting a beautiful man. He is now 'dad' to my son. We have a baby girl and a gorgeous home.

There a great things in store but it's a hard journey in the meantime.

Have a wonderful time with your bubs, value yourself and don't think it will be like this for long.

Answer 8

i am also completely on my own but i was so miserable with my ex that i feel like my sentence has been lifted, it is hard when you cant get a minute on your own and there's no one to make you a cup of tea or just simple things like watching the baby while you make dinner etc but my wee sonny is soooo worth it as I'm sure your children are just hang in there and remember that you are strong and can get through the hard times, if you feel like this all the time though then you may need to speak to your doctor there maybe some one you could speak to about your situation.

Answer 9

I am a single mum of 2 boys, ages 3 and 7.

And it is a hard job, very hard. I am in the same boat as you, no help at all, just me and the kids, no time out at all.

It does get better...what helped me was doing a educational course. It gets me out of the house, away from the kids, and my youngerst son gets to go to nursery the 3 days a week that i go to college, and they pay for it.

I would really recommend it, it saved me from insanity!
How about getting in touch with gingerbread, they are a group for single parents who do all sorts of stuff, go on holidays etc.

It gets easier the longer you have been a single parent, but is still one of the hardest jobs ever!

What really annoys me is that society looks at you like you are scum, yet no body except the REAL fruitcakes, set out to be a single parent.

We are not all sitting on our asses, and feeding our kids nothing but chips and chicken nuggets!

Answer 10

hi yes i`m a single mum and have been for 15 years it is very hard and the days are very long and it can get very depressing !!!!!! i`ve just had my 2nd child and he`s hard work i had forgotten what hard work they can be but when you look at them its all worth while cause children are very rewarding especially when they have done something to make you proud you can stand back and say you raised some good kids there ..... also you have to have you time get out with freinds but if that is impossible like me just get the kids in bed early and pamper yourself then lay on the sofa with your favourite munchies and watch a good film i always feel good after that lol good luck and all the best .x.x.x

Answer 11

YES
NO-but I had wanted a baby for forever, failed marriage because dr said that I couldn't have children-so I'm a lil more appreciative of my miracle
YES
I am fed up with being by myself, her father comes around about once a week, and quite frankly just messes up our natural rhythm. So sometimes I just feel its easier being alone with my baby.