If you don't "do" church, why?

Question

I know what frustrates me (and I work here), but I really want to know what it looks like to people who do not see church as a spiritual option at all.

Answer 1

Perhaps it is because i was disappointed by any type of organized religion as a youth.
Do know that it was not an overnight decision! Between hearing "Jesus Saves" for so long, and wondering why he didnt save me from the abuse.....couldnt keep up with the kneeling, standing, sitting and responses in the catholic church, then there was the pentecostal experiance...everyone speaking in tongues and surrounding me insisting i was posessed..(scared to death is what i was!) Then at 18 going into rehab and sharing a room with someone who happened to be a dope fiend that was having a lesbian relationship with the minister..who by the way was shooting dope too...hearing about all of the molestation going on....Need i go on?
It has just been recently, in the past 5 years that i have come into contact with a god of my understanding.....and that came with sobriety and the program of AA.
On a Positive Note....
I have come across wonderful accepting people who are a part of organized religion...or what i understand that to be. They teach Unity and reverence for all beliefs.....Ecumenical churches and people like leo booth...
For me..that is where the spiritual comes into play....

Answer 2

Well, first of all, I don't believe in the central teachings of Christianity, but I'll put that aside because I don't think that's what you're looking for.

Despite the best efforts of most preachers, pastors, reverends, priests, and ministers, the culture of church is to go and be told what "we" believe. If you have a question about something, you are told to speak to you pastor, which is fine for councelling purposes, but too many people believe that the pastor will have all of the answers, and sometimes that is not the case. I once heard of a "man of the cloth" telling an abused woman to honor the bind of marriage by staying, for instance. wrong. If people were not embroiled in the culture of church, they would be able to see that for themselves.

I think sometimes people allow themselves to be so blined by what a man (or in some cases, a woman) says from the pulpit that they stop using their own god-given judgement. Another example is the Fred & Shirley Phelps fiasco. How many people would come up with protesting at soldiers' funerals? How many of those people would have dreamed of such a thing had their "spiritual leader" not told them it was God's will?

I'm certainly not suggesting that all preachers are idiots like the Phelps - not even close - but PEOPLE put too much weight on what these people say and stop thinking for themselves.

Look around here. How many people don't bother to articulate their beliefs, but rather answer with a cut & paste Bible passage? I'm sure they believe it 100%, but they cannot tell you WHY. They don't say "I believe killing is wrong because it harms another human being, it kills the murderers spirit, it snuffs out potential, breaks the hearts of those left behind, etc." They say "God says it's wrong" because rather than objectively looking at the Bible and analyzing what it says, they listen to a preacher who says "This is the literal Word of God," so there is no NEED to interpret any further.

I'm not saying that there isn't a place for preachers - certainly they do a great deal for people - but I just wish they were, by and large, more humble. If Jerry Falwell had said, instead of "I truly believe that the Pagans and abortionists and homosexuals and feminists" played a role in 9/11, what if he had said "In MY interpretation of the scripture, I think it's possible that the Pagans and abortionists and homosexuals and feminists blah blah blah," he would have opened the door to debate rather than a yelling match. If he had admitted that he didn't KNOW, wouldn't it have been better?

Answer 3

Even back when I was a christian I was becoming anti-church. Then as now I was coming to the opinion that at best church serves to standardise a person's individual religious experience, and there is no way this could be a good thing.

Now as an agnostic my opinion is stronger; that churches actually retard a person's spiritual growth.

These massive christian collectives are not really biblical either - the idea back then was either a temple that you visit whenever to say your piece INDIVIDUALLY to god, or a meeting of maybe a dozen people in someone's house.

The main thing I see about churches now is blind, transparent hypocrisy. Anything to keep up the pretence of community. It is a simple fact that you can't get more than maybe 10 people together in a room and have them all get along, so the pretence is obvious. For those who have seen the BBC comedy "Keeping up Appearances" it is like an entire community of Hyacinth Buckets.

The other thing that irritated the hell out of me was the politicking and senseless micro-organisation. Someone donated a very nice curtain to my church and the parochial church council bickered about what to do with it for a while. Eventually they formed a "curtain hanging sub-committee" (absolutely no joke) of three people to investigate and decide the most appropriate place to put it. I found that completely over the top. There were other ridiculously small 'sub-committees' for equally unimportant things too.

So what is a church really for, when you get down to the nitty-gritty? It's a social club - and I use the word social only with reluctance.

Answer 4

I have been on both sides of this fence.
I struggled to get people to come also.
I would have to say that it is a number of things, maybe a combination of them also.
As a spiritual option...right now, all I see around me where I am is either liberal churches that give a watered-down pacifying "message" or, an extreme form of fundamentalism wherein the members are just about policed on everything.

I want to go, I want the real deal. I don't need to be hovered over and questioned though.
With all I learned over the years, the one thing I can't quite get is how is it that some people take the job of christian cop to themselves.
A Pastor isn't even free from being a target. Especially the Pastors. People want their Pastors to be above any questionable anything, so life goes in the goldfish bowl.

Answer 5

Well, I am probably not what you're looking for in an answerer, but I am having denominational trouble. There are no reformed churches where I live right now, and there's so much feel-good Pelagianism in a vast majority of the mainline churches, so I have not gone to church in about 3 weeks. Prior to that it was about 6. I'm still in my Word all the time and stuff, but lacking that fellowship with believers. Sure, communion with God is enough, yet I wish I had some people locally to call me on my junk. Wow, maybe I just used your question to vent myself. Sorry!

Answer 6

I don't do church because now a days things are not about pleasing Jesus it's about making the pastor rich, and taking money from the people to build a big flashy church house and not helping the people. I don't like that and feel that god don't want it that way. I feel that a person don't have to go to church to praise the lord. He said come as you are. Pray with me anywhere night or day or both. People say oh you want be save if you don't go to church, but I don't listen to that.

Answer 7

I do go to church but not as often as I should. I also am working and going to school full time and sundays seem to be my only day to get everything done. I make it about twice a month and I have a small group at my house every week. I am going to school to help people from church with legal research Probono and I do caregiving for an elderly lady with 2 adopted kids. It is not easy for me as I am 52 with physical problems of my own. I know God knows and understands why it has to be this way right now but I struggle with it. I guess I need to be able to forgive myself as God has.

Answer 8

No, I do not do church, because I am not a Christian. I do, however do worship. The Gods of my understanding. And no, that does not constitute devil worship, as we pagans do not believe in the devil. That is a Christian concept. I do, however see church as a spiritual option - for Christians - and mosque for Moslems, and synagogue for Jews. As a pagan, I firmly realize that "freedom of religion" means the freedom of any and all religions to coexist without hinderance from any other religious or political body. This is what frustrates me - the lack of reciprocal respect.

Answer 9

boring uninspired sermons

bad music - people cannot sing or they pick boring songs with all the same beat

pastor is not close to God and it shows

prosperity message is destructive and non-biblical
collection of tithes and offerings occurs 6 x more often than i get paid...Jesus said even the birds of the air do not sow or reap, yet the Father takes care of them.....but the church says we cannot be blessed unless we sow a seed for what we need. Deut 28 refers to all 613 commandments...how many do the christians keep?

requirement of tithes to be a member....biblically, tithing is no longer required...even the orthodox jews don't do it now....misuse of the concept of the tithe to support the church and administrative costs...it is suppposed to be from the temple tax, which is a fixed amount per household, not the tithe...

rejection of the poor and homeless...."they choose to be that way" "they have sin in their life"....no money available for the poor because the church has buidling projects to pursue and high salaries to pay;.

refusal to help the poor that come to them...they collect money all the time but claim they have nothing to give to those that are in need....a cheap prayer, if that will do....no compassion

legalism.......suffocates, forced submission through guilt

elder rule....forbidden / hated by Christ....where some people in the church are set above others to control them and order them around....."holier than thou" attitudes....sheep are subjected to intense unfair judgements and criticisms

oppression of sheep....only certian ones approved by the elders or pastor are "anointed" to minister..the rest have to just sit there and give money and do what they are told

what really did it for me...was when i asked multiple "christian" schools to help me bring a young, persecuted christian here from a muslim country.....they needed to come in on a student visa to get here...I needed to get them an F-1 visa and a 1-20 from from a private school (US rules)...the schools had this capability but....and they treated me like trash....and snubbed me and the child.....they did not think he (or I) would "fit in." They do not want "probems"...they just want to celebrate christianity in an uncomplicated, easy way...with people they approve of....

I am christian but ...I really hate modern day christianity......it is DEAD spiritually.....I work in the secular world, and it is embarrasing to have to constantly defend a religion that is always doing something wrong....

Answer 10

Spirituality is between each individual and their god so why do I have to go to a specific building on certain days and times to have that connection? I have nothing wrong with people who feel they need to be there but I think a lot of people forget just how very personal this connection should be and we each find what we are looking for in our own way.