Is chastity, saving onesself for their marriage partner, a moral issue, or just common sense?

Question

Don't you think "playing the field" will lead one to hook up with a great lover? As some lovers are better than others? And then cause them to forever compare thier partner to that great lover, and hate on their partner, because he or she doesn't stack up!Whereas making love with noone but your marriage partner would give you nothing to compare them to, and make you feel cheated, so you hate the person you want to love. Just because they can't fulfill you in that one area?

Answer 1

Both moral AND common sense.

Answer 2

Chastity and practising celibacy are part and parcel of Hindu religion.
It has been proven, that by not 'playing in the field'' you conserve your inner energy and ,there by gain so many mental powers.Your memory,concentration increases like any thing.
But it is not having a desire and suppressing it for future.
Because of the traditions followed the idea of premarital relationship will not enter the mind and so there is no question of suppressing the urge.
I do not say that the traditions of other countries are wrong.it is their custom,and the accepted way in the society there .So no one need comment on that.
Similarly no one need comment on Indian traditions.These traditions have formed after long introspection by our (Indian ) saints and sages and they thought it is good and advocated after practising themselves and finding the fruits there from.So one has to read the Indian traditions ,understand them in right perspective .It is not wise to ridicule any countries customs and traditions.

In India VIRGINITY is given the highest value and the people see it as a scared thing.They value it more than their lives.
similarly celibacy.People automatically from their birth follow it.There is no compulsion.The person unknowingly follows it.because he is brought up like that from childhood.They will not feel sorry that they are deprived of any chance of ''playing in the field.''

The girls feel proud to offer their honour to the husband , in the sanctified bedroom.similarly the boy too feels the same way.in India it is not seen that previous practice or rehearsal is required for this.It is a very sacred thing there, in India.

I repeat that by telling this, I am telling about Indian customs only.They are nnot feelinf sorry to follow them.They feel proud and are reaping the benefits.The marriages so performed are very sound and and divorse rate is negligible.The wife and husband love each other .They are devoted to each other.There may be some exceptions some where.But that does not make the traditions valueless or obslete.still the traditions are being continued without any body forcing them.

So saving chastity is not only a moral issue ,it is a traditional issue and it is done voluntarily and people who follow it feel happy about it and they are not either depressed or suppressed.
The Rishis (Sages ) have seen and they found it it has a lot of sense in it and not meely common sense.
In order to realise the Kundalini power one has (the Sepent power,and six inner chakras) one has to follow the celibacy and practice the kundalini under able guidance of a GURU.

So the values attached to this celibacy and virginity are not universal.they depend on the country's cimatic conditions, its customs and traditions.So in one place it seen acceptable and in other places it is not.It is not a debatable issue at all.

It is a purely individual issue of the person living in a particular land and faith he follows.

Answer 3

I don't know about this statement - <>
If you didn't know better, and had no experience of anyone else, how would you feel cheated? You wouldn't know the difference! So that was kind of an odd statement. I know you'll get answers about how sex isn't really that big a deal in a marriage - wrong. If one is unfulfilled, it leads to cheating. Trying the milk before buying the cow is sound advice. I would never even think of marrying someone I hadn't been with.

Answer 4

Chastity is a moral issue, and 'playing the field' need not be negatively viewed. If you are worried about your partner 'not stacking up' then you are together for the wrong reasons anyway. Gaining experience before marriage can increase the love experience and doesn't always lead to comparison - i certainly never do, nor has my wife ever mentioned her other lover.

Answer 5

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Answer 6

As to morality, it depends on your religious beliefs, but most of the Christian teachings on it come from St. Augustine and not the Bible. As far as "hating" your mate because they don't 'stack up" or because you wonder if there is a better lover out there, this seems like a personal issue and if you think you are going to have problems with this, then do your best to avoid it. Personally, I don't compare my spouse to past lovers, but I do regret missing opportunities before we were married.

Answer 7

Someone wrote: "I do think that 'playing the field' may lead you to a great lover, but it will not lead you to a great partner. It may lead you to a lot of sluts who like to sleep around."

So that makes you a ****, too, right?

Personal testimony: we have been married for over 26 years. We were virgins on our wedding night and we have been faithful to each other ever since. We still greatly enjoy...(draws curtains)... but recognise that a successful relationship is so much more than just what goes on in the bedroom. (Or in the lounge. Or the kitchen. Or standing up in a hammock.) I wouldn't swap what we have for all the sex in Sin City.

Answer 8

In practice, it doesn't work like this. The first few lovers tend not to be all that good because of inexperience. It is only after having a variety of partners that you really learn what you like. Chastity is just setting yourself up for a disappointing sex life.

Answer 9

Chastity is a human concept...originally used to keep women under the thumb.

Chastity is against nature. However it doesn't mean you should sleep with anyone and everyone.

Chastity leads to frustration which helps religions recruit people because the frustration can be turned into groveling energy! It also leads to frustrated individuals that needs to eventually act out.....we shall go no further on this....

Oh....and...practice makes perfect!!! Have fun tonight people!

Answer 10

As a teenager I was discussing the idea of 'one partner for life' and was asked by our youth club leader "Do you love your wife?". My response that I wasn't married was rebuffed with the question "You say that marriage should be for life - shouldn't this include your life before you met?"

To precis the long debate that followed, the argument goes like this. Marriage is for life. After you are married, having promised fidelity for life, being unfaithful is not compatible with this promise to your spouse and your love for them. If you truly value this post-marriage love, is is not reasonable to suggest that this love could precede the two people meeting, thus already having a firm emotional foundation upon which to base the relationship?

There is also the added benefit that, no matter how many years you are together, your partner will always have the knowledge that every time they make love with you, they are the first!

Answer 11

It's neither a moral issue, nor common sense. It is a religious issue, and one of morality only in a religious context.

Morality is not universal; those with a religious bent adopt morals according to their religious dogma.

Contrary to your statement, if one has a healthy sexual relationship with their partner, that can enhance their marriage. Sexual experience can provide for a healthy sexual relationship, allowint techniques other than the church ordained missionary position. This can lead to a more exciting and interesting sexual aspect of the marriage.