This morning, my step son copped a major attitude with me when I told him to go outside and wait for his school bus. He had gotten into the candy jar when he shouldn't have and ended up knocking it over along with several other things and spilling things all over the floor.
When I told him to go outside, he said under his breath, "God, I didn't do anything." so I told him to come back inside and sit down. I asked him what was with the attitude and he said I wasn't being nice to him. He then threw a punch at me. He is nine years old and threw a punch at me. I yelled at him to lose the attitude and he kicked me.
Last day of school, I almost kept him home to disipline him but knew he needed to get his things from his desk.
How do I deal with him once he gets home? Please help.
2007-05-24 01:11:37 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Grade-Schooler
Step parenting is really hard. You didn't say how long you've been his step-mom. If it's only been a short time, I don't think you should have to be in the position to discipline him; it's not fair to either of you. Tell your husband to make some changes.
If it's been a while and you've developed a relationship, then, of course, you need to discipline. But, rule of thumb, stop and try to think about his feelings first. Kids of divorce go through a lot. That's not a reason to misbehave, but it does explain some things. Get down on his level, look him in the face and explain quietly what he has done wrong. In this case, the infraction wasn't spilling the candy, it was disobeying by getting into it. Explain what rule he has broken. Then give him time out, or some other reasonable punishment - for instance, he can't have candy for a couple of days.
As far as the physical stuff, that must be brought under control IMMEDIATELY. You and your husband sit down with him and explain that ABSOLUTELY no physical violence of any kind will be tolerated. If he does that, he is immediately isolated with no TV, phone, etc., for one hour - no exceptions (if he misses a ball game, he misses a ball game). If he's headed for school, he does the time right after he gets home.
Your husband must back you up in this. And he must have a firm talk with him alone and explain that he is NEVER to hit a woman.
2007-05-24 01:21:28 · answer #1 · answered by Terri J 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
for starters make HIM clean up the mess he made. take the candy jar and put it out of his reach and not give him any!!!!
his next line might be ...well u r NOT my mom. either way i would say let his dad deal with him and set the groundrules!!!!!!!! once he sees dad is on your side maybe things change. u can not tolerate him swinging at u and kicking. set him on stairs, with nothing to do. no TV no books i really mean NOTHING. tell him to think about his a ctions and attitude and come talk to u once he has figured out y he behaves that way. make it clear HE don't run the house and tell him for all u care he can sit there till his dad gets home to deal with him........i don't believe in hitting kids and specially NOT with belts and stuff like the 1st person reccommended, all it will accomplish is that he'll resent u more.........good luck.... my 3 don't get hit and i always get complimented on their behavior.
2007-05-24 01:27:05 · answer #2 · answered by germanygirl_us 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
step parent or not its hard dealing with a nine year old ... I am going through it right now!! Taking away stuff and yelling or even spanking does nothing ... You need to try and make him understand who the parent is and that you demand respect, Maybe his dad can also talk to him about voilence against woman aswell
2007-05-24 01:39:21 · answer #3 · answered by lisamarie7901 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds such as you're in a stressful spot. i think of the 1st element you may desire to do is get the mummy to lower back you on discipline. They comprehend that she is their mom and you are the step-father and that they are able to flee with something together with her as a result they are no longer going to opt to hearken to you. She needs to stop permitting them to stroll throughout her. consult together with her, yet while she won't exchange there is not any longer a lot you're able to do. so some distance as hitting and kicking, you will might desire to tell him in no uncertain words which you will no longer placed up with that habit. while he gets abode from college, sit down him down and tell him you comprehend he have been given dissatisfied this morning yet he is going to might desire to regulate his temper and he's not allowed to hit or kick while he gets indignant. i think of you pronounced he's 9 so try doing away with priveleges while he law enforcement officers the recommendations-set and hits or kicks. do no longer pass overboard to the place it sounds such as you dislike him and try to make his life depressing yet next time he swings at you tell him no television for something of the day or no pc or video games or in spite of the fact that he likes. If he kicks then do away with yet another day. And enforce it. My 13 year old daughter has lost pc priveleges for a month because of the fact of her recommendations-set. If he's like her, he won't care what you do to him on an identical time as he's dissatisfied yet later on after he calms down, he will comprehend what he's lost. you do no longer say how long you have been the step-father, they may well be attempting out you. the lads choose a father determine yet because of the fact that their father ran off they might desire to comprehend which you're there and are going to stay. they might desire to sense maintain. tell them you like them and tell the single boy which you like him and your are not going everywhere yet you will no longer placed up along with his recommendations-set and you extremely won't tolerate hitting & kicking. Be enterprise and robust success.
2016-11-05 05:34:32 · answer #4 · answered by speth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This may sound mean but dont feed him for about 3hrs when he gets home. or you could take all the major gaming items out of his room and tell him to get some good sleep.
2007-05-24 01:17:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
he has that attitude inherits with his family.you can't blame yourself of having that attitude.did he knew already that he is not your son?so tell him the truth if you are not telling him.i am sure he will be change his attitude if he knows who is he.
2007-05-24 01:26:54 · answer #6 · answered by swity4u_27 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Take away priveledges for a week.
2007-05-24 01:30:01 · answer #7 · answered by Death Girl Am 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
http://en.allexperts.com/q/Parenting-K-6-3269/9-year-old-attitude.htm
2007-05-24 01:21:20 · answer #8 · answered by legermarianne 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hit them with a belt and slap them until thy start listening to you, that is how I was brought up.
2007-05-24 01:14:53 · answer #9 · answered by lacoste 3 · 1⤊ 3⤋
NO JUNK FOODS AND NO SWEETS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Plus, he NEEDS discipline!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2007-05-24 07:15:50 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋