I have been dating my boyfriend for three years but lately we have been fighting alot. I was raped in febuary and have been depresed and my doctor put me on prozac. I think the medicine helps me and makes me feel better and less depressed, but my boyfriend doesent agree. he feels that i act differently. but he cant tell me how I am acting and what he doesent like about my personality when im on the medicine. He doesent want me to take it and has given me an ultimadum. basicaly its him or the medicine. what should i do?
2007-05-23 19:49:29 · 16 answers · asked by vesper_love 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, you probably act differently. You've been raped for goodness sake - and you need medication to help you cope! You also need support right now. Tell him right now you need the medication and to be around supportive people. If he can't be supportive he needs to go. And don't worry about coping with that - a) you're on prozac b) you will feel better because the pressure will be off and you'll be able to focus on healing.
You see, this relationship is the present. At some point you'll want to be in a good relationship again, you'll want to have sex, you'll want to be healthy towards your special other. All of that depends on how well you heal from the rape episode. Don't sell out your chances for happiness because a guy you like won't support you through this. Rape takes time to digest. It's not about the physical act and "move on" it's about the invasion of your sanctity, your space, your core. And you do not need further pressure. Suggest a breather if you want to, but I'd say if he loves you he may date 20 other girls but still come back to you!... What he's doing now, however, is NOT ON!
2007-05-23 20:22:38 · answer #1 · answered by Sugar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I see 2 possibilities:
1) He cannot get over the fact that you have been raped and feels like rejecting you as you are no longer the "same" as before. If this is true, this proves that he is not the right guy.
2) You have actually change due to the recent mis-fortune which only he can tell the differences in your behaviour as he is closest to you. It may be cause by some guilt in you that you felt you owe him something.
Basically I don't think it is the medication that is affecting you but it is the mental part between both of you in reality on how you both can accept what happened. You both need to break free from what is in your mind. Have a good talk with him.
2007-05-24 03:08:13 · answer #2 · answered by garyget 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay on the medicine. When your boyfriend said that it makes you "act differently" it's because antidepressents change your depressive mood. Obviously it seems like he doesn't want you to be happy. If you feel good on the medicine and your friends and family haven't complained about your personality, I don't see how it would make sense that you stop the medicine and go back to your depressive mood just to please your boyfriend. He can't tell you what you're feeling - you can. If it makes you feel better, then do it.
2007-05-24 03:02:58 · answer #3 · answered by obs3ssive beauty 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's the deal. If you're unhappy, it's time to move on. I know it's hard when you've been with someone that long, but you have to concentrate on the goal. You have to concentrate on your happiness. I would break up with him first and then come off the medicine. I have been on antidepressants too and it is no long term solution. The long term solution is changing your life for the better.
I was raped recently too. Well, attempted rape. I kneed him where it hurts before he could do anything. It happens to the best of us. Just remember that it's not your fault.
2007-05-24 02:54:59 · answer #4 · answered by Karoline M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st of all... your doctor prescribed the medication for a reason. I think that your boyfriend is being very selfish! You may love him but... you should not allow him to give you this selfish ultimatum because it is not fair to you in this situation. He clearly doesn't understand what you have been through and what you are still going through and why it is important for you to be on this medication. You stated that you are "unhappy"... my suggestion is that you realize what is important to you... your well being or your selfish boyfriend. My sister was on Prozac as well... and it just gave her a care - free attitude... she was very calm and less stressed. It didn't make her dramatically out of the ordinary or anything like that. If you are unhappy in this relationship then you really need to break free from it to keep from adding to the problems that you are already dealing with in your life...
2007-05-24 03:07:42 · answer #5 · answered by Candy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't know your boyfriend but it SOUNDS like he's trying to keep you down and he's afraid of you becoming your own person. Fear of change is normal but if someone is depressed they need help. I've been to the brink and back. He needs to understand that being raped is an experience that only the ones that have experienced it can feel. Although there are other ways of beating depression. But I'm not here to tell you to believe and not to believe but I will pray for you.
2007-05-24 03:01:22 · answer #6 · answered by tomb_raider112002 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i understand how your boyfriend feels, i know a few people on antidepressents and its hard to explain but they act different. however, should he ask you to choose between him and them, no. im sure he is just feeling really insecure, something horrible has happened to you and he wasnt there to help you. now that you are still feeling the effects of the rape and the meds make you feel better, im sure it is just one more blow to his fragile ego. it takes a lot of things to get over something that traumatic. talk to your boyfriend about it and tell him how much he means to you, but for now getting over the rape is hard and being on the meds help. he should understand that you need both him and your meds, choosing only one will not help you getting over what happened. if youve been with him for three years im sure he is more understanding that he is being right now. try talking to him. if he refuses to let you have both him and your meds, then maybe it is time to move on. you sound like a very strong person to be dealing with all of this in the past three months. just remember healing takes time, and thats all you and he need is time. good luck!
2007-05-24 03:06:58 · answer #7 · answered by M. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There are side effects to Prozac. You could be acting differently, or your sex life could be affected. You need to speak to the doctor about changing your medication. My doctor had to change mine about 4 times before he found one (Celexa) that did not affect my normal personality and sex life.
No man should give you an ultimatum about taking medication if you need it. Tell him that if he loves you, he will be patient until you get the help you need to pull though this tragedy. Ask him how he would feel if someone he did not know, or want to be with forced themselves on him.
It will take time to get though this, just be patient and be sure to discuss all of your feelings with your therapist. Good Luck to you. I am so sorry that this had to happen to you.
2007-05-24 02:59:44 · answer #8 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your bpyfriend loves you he will understand you. There are medicines that makes a person irritable or act differently. Can you consult the doctor that prscribed you with that kind of medicine and ask why are you behaving that way? If it is possible for your doctor to change your medicine, ask him so that you will be happy in love.
2007-05-24 03:00:45 · answer #9 · answered by Vher 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait, was your boyfriend the one who raped you? You weren't very clear, but if that's the case, he's no good for you! Even if it were someone else, you might want to consider taking time off from your relationship... It might be the best way to clear your mind.
Hope everything will be okay for you, as I guy I really don't know what it's like to get raped but I feel for you. Good luck!
2007-05-24 02:54:33 · answer #10 · answered by Thinksalot 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋