Ok heres my situation. I'm 20 years old, and was with the same guy since I was 14. Whenever we were younger we had always planned on getting married and "being together forever". Lately I've grown up though and realize we aren't really right for each other and I ended it about a month ago.
So heres the real question. I work with this guy, and he's easily one of the most amazing guys I've ever met... We have an insane amount of things in common and we just flow really well when we're around each other. Problem is, hes kind of seeing this girl. He says that he doesnt really like her much but he likes being with her because it's some sort of companionship & he flirts like crazy with me...
I have REALLY strong feelings for him, but I just don't know if I should say anything, or maybe wait a while? Or maybe just never say anything and wait to see if he says something?
I dont know I just need some advice..
2007-05-23 19:47:18 · 16 answers · asked by jestergirly1969 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Sorry, I worded the question weird and made it sound like the guy I was with for 6 years was the guy that I work with. But no, they are two seperate guys.
2007-05-23 20:03:33 · update #1
Listen, there is no reason you can't tell this guy your interested in him. Love does not obey the laws of how long you are supposed to grieve for the loss of a relationship. If you are ready to start getting involved with other men then you are ready.
He's seeing another girl but don't let that get in the way of you telling him how you feel. I'm not saying to start up a relationship with him WHILE he's dating this other girl but there is nothing wrong with letting it be known how you feel. If he then decides he likes you better then the other girl well ... kudos to you!
2007-05-23 19:52:45 · answer #1 · answered by kingdante87 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say you should wait a while and see how it goes. Don't come on to strong to this guy otherwise he might think your desperate. Your only 20 years old, you just came out of a six year relationship, you should have some fun before getting serious again. You say that you have a lot in common, so go out together and have some fun, try to enjoy yourself with out thinking about a relationship. The best thing to do is let things happen naturally, don't force it! Its all about anticipation. If he knows you like him then everything will change. Remember, men are hunters, they like the chase! Never take that away from them! Good Luck!
2007-05-23 20:08:37 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just got out of a relationship. Give yourself some time before you do anything. Think what exactly are you looking for. Is it a reltionship? or something else, and does this guy fit the bill? Know him better before you decide on pushing things further with him. Get to know the exact relationship he has with the girl, whom you said he is kind of seeing at the moment. If the girl loves him, but he says he "really do not like her", and is flirting with you, then he is not a guy you can trust. Then he is going to be a guy using both of you. Be smart. Do not let yourself be fooled. You are young.Take time, give yourself some time, and act accordingly.Rest you are a better judge. Best of luck.
2007-05-23 20:02:16 · answer #3 · answered by pearl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If this guy has a girlfriend and he is flirting with you, what makes you think he would ever be committed to you? If you became his next girlfriend what would stop him from flirting with another good looking gal while your back was turned? He probably gets off on having two women after his attentions, that doesn't make for good bed fellows. Find some one else who is amazing and has an insane amount of things in common with you who is single! There are alot of single guys in the world go meet some of them.
2007-05-23 19:57:46 · answer #4 · answered by Sweet Suzy 777! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Give it just a little longer. You did just get out of a very serious relationship and you need some time off. You dont want to get with this guy and realize it was too soon. That might ruin a great frienship. So just ride it out a little longer and see where the situation goes. Good luck:)
2007-05-23 19:52:53 · answer #5 · answered by DitziD 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like your still in love with him and you may have acted a little hasty in breaking it off. Consequintly, your in a state of confusion. The best advice I can give you is to deeply anylise your feelings not only about him but for him and then, if youve decided that you want him back, talk to him about it. One thing to keep in mind is that 2 people dont have to have everything in common in order to have a loving relationship. In fact, its better if they have a few different likes so they dont smother each other.
2007-05-23 19:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Here's a nickle's worth of free advice from someone who has been there.
Dont play any games. Do waht you WANT and do what you FEEL. If you wanna say something. SAY SOMETHING. Men are not interested in being mind-readers or trying to figure out whats going on in your head. Women frequently tend to not talk about what is REALLY on their minds - they enjoy making men GUESS - and then persist on blaming men for why it didnt work out they way they hoped.
People who dont say what they want,
deserve never to get it.
- Madonna
Thats 100% true. You dont want to NOT say anything - or NOT let him know - and then blame HIM later for not knowing. Do you??
When it comes to guys there are THREE simple rules you should always follow. And they are very easy and fair. Respecting them will get you respect in return.
1. Respect his time and property. The most valuable thing to any guy is his TIME. Dont ever be a waste of it. And everything that he has, owns and prizes is something he spent his precious TIME on to EARN.
2. His time spent with you has to be a GOOD time. Its gotta be fun for him. All the time. If you want him to want you, like you, want to be with you, and be comitted to you, you must give him good reason to be. It isn't up to HIM to autmatically like you and want to be with you.... . its up to YOU.
And here is the one that most directly pertains to your situation.......
3. BE DIRECT WITH HIM. No man is remotely interested in being a mind-reader. If something is troubling you, make sure he knows . . . so he can decide what he is prepared to do about it and act accordingly. Don't make him guess. Because he won't. And he certainly wont go out of his way to CARE to guess.
No harm can come of remembering those rules. Alot of women break every single one of them somewhere along the way and they blame the guy when he no longer wants anything to do wth her.
Hope this helped in some way.
2007-05-23 20:16:05 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think he probably would dump her for you but is afraid to be alone so he will not dump her unless he thinks he could for sure have you. Does that make sense? Either way he may be amazing but that is a flaw that he has shown. Your 20. Go out on dates. Don't get serious to quickly. Trust me on this.
2007-05-23 19:53:56 · answer #8 · answered by dager35 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does he honestly know about your feelings? I don't htink you should make it like a neon light but drop a few hints that he might be able to see. Spend more time with him and try to help him develop feelings for you.
Good luck.
2007-05-23 19:51:43 · answer #9 · answered by t3h_hul|<_1sh_m3h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
guys... hes gonna have a relationship with her soon enough. take him in before the beast claws him into her cave. i mean, come fudging on! 6 years!!! if you guyz were together for 6 years another 50 or 80 might not hurt.
2007-05-23 19:52:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋