After dating for three years Boyfriend tells me he NEVER wants kids. Is it wrong to get pregnant anyway?

Question

I have been dating my boyfriend for four years now. He told me about a year ago that he NEVER wants to have children. He knew that I did all along and just strung me along anyway until he told me about a year ago. I have been taking the birth control pill the whole time that we have been dating. I told him that I would never purposely trap him, but I have been thinking about doing it lately. I even haven't been taking my birth control pill purposely and now I've gotten my period about six days too soon. Is getting pregnant by him knowing that he doesnt want children wrong?

I'm not trying to trap him at all. I REALLY love him and to me hie is the perfect man and that is why I want him to be the father of my child, not to keep him as my man.

Answer 1

Girl i used to think it was okay . cause after my ex promised me for 8 years and then kept holding me off. the way i look @ it he wasted 8 years of my life based on promises and lies so if i would have tricked him, it would have been okay, in that sitautoin, but now... i think if u meet some1 new then its wrong and ou really shoudlnt do it. but if the guy based his promsies for years and years of lies on that to you and then you are wasting your fertile years . but i think the best thing to do will be to dump his sorry *** and have kids w/ someone who will help raise them but if u cant find someone or u dont have tim left til your feritlity is over then i would go ahead and trick the prick.

Answer 2

yeah

but a lot of people do it anyway.


The thing is that in most people's cases the guys have said "later" rather then "never"

You have to consider the fact that he might consider the children you have a huge stab in the back.

Honestly if I were you having children would be a "make or break" of the relationship and I'd make that REALLY obvious.

Look do not deny yourself of children for his account either face the possibility of his wrath, or get out of the relationship. If he's not saying yes now then he probably won't in the near future.

I know a lot of men don't want kids until they're a lot older.... while women want them younger, but then some guys keep putting it off for years and years and one day the woman realises she's 45 with no kids.

Weigh up the pros and cons and if you think that he'll go off the wall if you go behind his back and "accidentily" forget then I would not recommend it.

Also the fact that you said that you would "never purposely trap him" is a bit of a sticking point... it'd be pretty obvious that you were to blame. I know there are chances of getting pregnant while on the pill, but its 0.01 chance.... so hard to convince someone that you're THAT chance.

Answer 3

What your partner has done is wrong, he should have told you right off the bat that he didn't want children. It is one of the most fundamental things that two people have to have in common is order for their relationship to work. I feel that his answer of not wanting to pass on eczema is a croc. Eczema more often than not is easily treated, and it's not like it is life threatening. I feel that perhaps he is just selfish or young. Or maybe has other reasons for not wanting children. Personally I find it a little weird when people don't want children, as it came so naturally to me, and I had come to the conclusion that it was hardwired into all of us. Trapping your partner by getting pregnant deliberately however is absolutely wrong and morally reprehensible. You have no right to take his choice away from him. And if you think that having his child will keep him around, you are dead wrong, you will end up a single mother with no father for your child. Is that really what you want? I can totally understand where you are coming from, but seriously, a child needs the love of family, a safe secure family. I am not against single parents at all, as I was one myself, but I do not think that anyone chooses to be a single parent. Find someone who loves you and wants children as much as you do.

Answer 4

YES !!!
Both for yourself and the child you may conceive .
You should have left him a year ago , when he said he didn't want children . Getting pregnant isn't going to make him marry you and will very likely bring the relationship to an end . Do you want to be a single mother , lonely on your own . It is not fair to a baby to bring it up on it's own without a father . To get pregnant to spite your boyfriend and make him pay child support isn't very nice !!!
If you want a husband who wants and loves children as you do ; have the courage to break free from this relationship , while you are free to do so and find a new man .

Answer 5

It's wrong and it's foolish. He might stay with you if you get pregnant, but there's no guarantee that he will do so. Just ask all the women who have done what you are planning and who now are struggling to survive on welfare. Add to that the fact that once you have a kid, most men don't want you. So there you would be sitting with a baby, labeled with not very nice names and no future for you or your baby.

So you have to make a decision. Stay with a guy who has told you that he doesn't want children, or close that book and look for a new one that has children in it.

Answer 6

Yes that is very wrong. Why stay with someone who doesn't want children when you do? Go out and find some one else who does want them. It is not easy to raise kids, you need two willing people that are married. It isn't easy even then, but you will have a miserable time with someone who doesn't want kids and so will the child. NOT fair to the child or to this guy who doesn't want a child.

Answer 7

Why did you stay with him after he told you he did not want children? Wouldn't you rather have children with a man that will be there for you and them? This man will walk out the door as soon as you say "surprise". In a more perfect world he should be able to sue you. NO NO NO NO NO NO do not do this. This is why I say there is never such a thing as an "accidental" pregnancy.

Answer 8

He was wrong to string you along. However it would be very wrong for you to try to have his baby anyway. If you want children, you should have them, but not with your boyfriend. It having children is important to you than get out of the this relationship and find someone who has the same feelings about children as you do.

Answer 9

Yes, you know its wrong. The worse thing a woman can do is try to trap a man by getting pregnant by him. Because you know what: he can still leave if he wants to.

I don't mean to sound harsh, but people that say they don't want kids shouldn't be forced into it. Maybe everyone isn't fit to be a parent. Sure, he could change his mind and change, but let him do it on his own time.
How would you feel about the possibility of being a single mother?

Answer 10

The perfect man for you would want to have children with you.
Obviously, he is not ready for any commitment; you or children, why force him into it?
Four years of dating? That's a long time not to make a more serious commitment, unless you are very young. Sounds like you are just his "plaything". You know what they say about "buying the cow".

Answer 11

this is probably one of the worst things you can do to him. If you want children and he doesn't move on to someone who does want children. If you want to have children with him give him an ultimatum. If he doesn't want to have children then he'll run away as fast a cheetah and then you'll be free to find a man who does want to start a family. but please do not trap him, this would be so messed up. Having children is a choice, and his is no. it is the equivalent of rape to men.