I've been together with my now fiance for almost 3 years now. Of course everything in the beginning was hot and heavy and then a little over a year ago we had our daughter and it slowly started to vanish. Less and less we'd be having sex...and it wouldn't even be as good. Now I know things change after you have a baby...and I might not be totally the same as I was before...but I'm still okay. More and more he needs porn to get in the right mood and it makes me feel like he doesn't find me attractive anymore...but he says he does. Before we got engaged I slept with someone else and realized it wasn't worth it. But I still find myself thinking of other guys and sort of wishing something would happen with them. I just feel like the spark has gone out in our relationship. What should I do?
2007-05-23 18:15:20 · 12 answers · asked by Mommy of 2 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
In response to lily...I do have a ring...and i do not regret having my daughter when I did.
2007-05-23 18:26:18 · update #1
I think I've done more than most women would when trying to try new things. we sometimes watch porn together, I surprise him dressed up, do "different" things, bought "things" and alot of other things...and it never seems to be enough. I would like to at least have sex 2 times a day...if not I'm feeling moody and thinking about other people.
2007-05-23 18:35:24 · update #2
All relationships need spicing up after several years together. After having a baby, some men will look at women more as a mother than a sex object, as they did before. Do not be offended by this, it is very normal. You have to show him that you are still sexy. Get a sitter for the baby, and plan a very inventive and sexy night with him.
Watch porn with him sometimes. Men are visually stimulated. He is not lusting over the women in the porn movie. The women in the porn, doing what they are doing, is stimulating his imagination which causes arrousal. If you watch it with him, within a few minutes he will be turning to you for the real thing. I'll bet that he misses over half of the movie!!
2007-05-23 18:37:20 · answer #1 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes some people can have an addiction to sex, but if I get you right you said you just had a baby? Well if that's the case it's hormones. Your body is adjusting to this. Give it some time and if you feel you are still "addicted", which I don't think its a bad thing as long as it is with only 1 person, talk with your OBGYN.
2016-05-21 07:47:22 · answer #2 · answered by gale 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its normal to think about other people when ur with someone for a while. But you shouldnt act on it, if you go out and u see a guy you like, flirt and flirt and flirt till you cant take it any more then go home and screw your fiancee. And with the porn issue, hes a guy. hes been looking at porn from birth, maybe hes always had it and is just getting more and more comfortable with you lol if not again whenever hes getting hot and heavy with his collection you two should go at it. bring new things into ur life together or find something else to do :)
2007-05-23 18:22:12 · answer #3 · answered by conair26 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
having a baby really changes the mental mind as well, he keeps on thinking- "mother" when he sees u instead of "women" and its difficult to change that perception in a mans head that u both.
so do u have access to his porn?? lol time to pick out an outfit, go get that and spike that image for good, wear it then slowly tell him seductively how u had a fantasy of another man. . .he will be spiked for good!!
2007-05-23 18:26:45 · answer #4 · answered by Phoenix21 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
take controle in the bedroom, try to spice things up. Grab him when he's not expecting it, in the middle of supper or something equally as unexpected. If you wait until your both climbing into bed, sleep is probably pretty high on the priority list over sex after a long day in a comfortable relationship.
2007-05-23 18:20:34 · answer #5 · answered by Rhuby 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The think the easiest thing is to go to counselling or a help group for other couples having trouble and get some ideas... that has never happened to me so I can't really say any more.
2007-05-23 18:23:20 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I DON'T THINK THE SPANK HAS GONE OUT OF YOUR RELATIONSHIP. I THINK YOU NEED TO GET CREATIVE AND TRY NEW THINGS TO HELP SPICE UP YOUR RELATIONSHIP. FOR EXAMPLE IF YOU ARE INTO SELF GRATIFICATION TRY LETTING HIM TELL YOU WHAT TO DO. LIKE WHERE HE WANTS YOU TO TOUCH YOURSELF. I GUARANTEE BY THE TIME YOU ARE DONE HE WILL BE BURSTING AT THE SEEMS AND HE WILL TEAR INTO YOU WITH THE PASSION HE HAD WHEN YALL FIRST GOT TOGETHER. ALSO IF HE IS OPEN TO IT TRY DOING THE SAME TO HIM. I KNOW IT WILL MAKE YOU JUST AS HOT.
2007-05-23 18:26:48 · answer #7 · answered by james b 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
read my question
http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;_ylt=AnFBktwx4wY.QW38ZNTIcRbsy6IX?qid=20070523185514AAqsuoW\
you are not the only one, most marriage changes after having the first child, this is temporary i hope, don't let your weakness make you do something that you will regret later. the spark is gone because you feel tired from taking care of your child, but once the child grow up a little things may get better.
2007-05-23 18:22:54 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should stop calling him your fiance unless you have a ring and a date set. Second of all you can do anything you want to satisfy your sexual desires since you are not married. I can see how he doesn't get turned on by you, you sold out cheap, had his kid and he didn't even have to legally commit.
2007-05-23 18:21:00 · answer #9 · answered by lily 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you need to be more adventurous! Play around. Pretend to be a nurse, maid, cop, slave, etc. etc. Spice it up and don't be afraid to tell him to dress like someone you like! Fantasies are made to be fulfilled! Have fun! If he wants to watch pornos, then give him a reason not to!
2007-05-23 18:26:54 · answer #10 · answered by mr.rod33 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋