My bf and I have been together for about a year and a half. When he first met me he told everyone he knew that i was the most beautiful girl he had ever seen. He tells me things like that all the time... That said, I am confused and infuriated as to why he looks at other girls. He doesn't gawk, but he looks nonetheless. What makes me FURIOUS is when our gay mutual guy friend tells me when my boyfriend says a girl is hot when im not there. It makes me so mad, I throw tantrums and cry for hours. I can look at a guy and think he's nice looking but it stops there; I don't go on about it to friends. Yes, I know I sound like a basket case but i really don't know how to deal with this. If he thinks im so hot why is he telling his friends how hot other girls are behind my back? Can i stop it or curb the behavior? it's killing me!
2007-05-23 18:00:04 · 11 answers · asked by L K 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Over the 1 1/2 years you've been together, have you perhaps let yourself go just enough that you are no longer the one he met? Do you tend to neglect him or take him for granted too often? Don't blame him -- he's just being a guy! Give him back the reasons he wanted you in the first place!!!
2007-05-23 18:06:32 · answer #1 · answered by NJGuy 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie, guys do this, almost all of them. You sound very insecure, which means maybe you might want to think about if there's something else about the relationship that bothers you. Maybe he doesn't compliment you as much as you'd like, or you don't get to spend as much time with him as you want to? Talk with him! You've been together long enough that you should feel comfortable talking about important things.
As long as you do trust this guy (you do, right? because you shouldn't be with someone you can't trust) you need to stop listening to your friend's gossip, as well-intentioned as he may be. It doesn't matter what he thinks of other girls, if he's only with you, there's something about you he likes better than all other girls. But, be warned, being petty and jealous, and angry, is not a turn-on! Do you have self-confidence issues (like most of us girls do!)? Think about doing something to improve your self-image, like an aerobics class, or a new haircut. The better you feel about yourself, the less you'll care about him looking at other girls.
Remember- boys and girls are VERY different, and act differently. He most likely talks about other girls when he's with his friends to prove he isn't whipped. All that matters is that he is there for you, and that you have a good relationship together.
2007-05-23 18:12:31 · answer #2 · answered by KyLeth 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its human nature for guys and girls to check out the other sex even when we are in a committed relationship.That said,you need to ask him why he feels the need to tell someone you are friends with that he finds someone other than you attractive.Another thing you can consider,he is looking at other women finding them "hot",but at the end of the day he is with you,not one of them.Next time he "looks"you should pick some random guy and stare as he walks by to show your b/f how it feels.
2007-05-23 18:08:28 · answer #3 · answered by john s 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What you have my dear, is that old green eyed monster, Jealousy. And it has killed many a relationship, and as you know, does you no good at all. In other words, it's pure hell for you.
You have two choices, either dump him and move on, to some one, who won't look at girls, probably a gay guy, or learn to trust him and laugh at his wandering eyes. As long as he stays with you, and is only looking, you will be fine.
All men do it, so it's up to you, to accept it and relax.
It's not easy, but it is doable. Just give it a good try. Let's hope you can improve your self esteem, to handle him.
2007-05-23 18:08:07 · answer #4 · answered by johnb693 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It is perfectly natural for your guy to look at other girls and think they are attractive. Guys generally like to tell other guys about other girls. This doesn't mean anything, and as long as he isn't flirting with anybody, I don't see what the big deal is. what you should try asking yourself is, why do you feel insecure about this? Also ask yourself if you really trust him.
2007-05-23 18:11:23 · answer #5 · answered by Lunachit 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Throwing tantrums and crying for hours won't help.
Kill him with kindness and then make some comments on an attractive guy you see!
2007-05-23 18:06:45 · answer #6 · answered by Ohmyheaven 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loves you you have nothing to worry about. All guys look at hot chicks. Its like a hot car guys look at those things too. I hope your bf doesn't see you throw your fit. That's really mature and it doesn't help.
2007-05-23 18:07:12 · answer #7 · answered by Reta, Bears mommy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Good luck in trying. I was very upset about the same thing with my fiance...until i saw this documentary on the discovery channel, it said that it is in a mans nature to look, literally, they were made to "spread their seed" as much as possible, so dont be too upset about it, he cant help it. Now when it comes to the convos with his boys, thats also natural....if its really getting to you, talk to him about it.
2007-05-23 18:05:24 · answer #8 · answered by Zoila 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are just making mountains out of mow hills. As long as he does not touch, you should not be worried at how much he is looking at other girls. He may just be admiring the hand works of nature. :). No, seriously.
2007-05-23 18:06:02 · answer #9 · answered by Bantree 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats really tough, and im sorry to hear that.
I always thought looks dont matter, so yeah..
Maybe you should talk to him about it or?
Yeah, i hate wandering eyes too.
Talking to him about it might be the best case senario, but im not so sure about it, incase he gets mad or something..
2007-05-26 17:06:32 · answer #10 · answered by Shutout105 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋