There are certain situations that people have that I encounter or they bring a problem situation to me. In the past I found myself counseling and giving advice in their situation in which I have not experienced. For example, at least two people have told me about a problem that they are having in their marriage. I believe I have good advice for them, but I am not, nor have I ever been married.
Is it possible to still give wise advice and counsel in a situation you have never experienced.
2007-05-23 17:08:00 · 27 answers · asked by Changed 3 in Society & Culture ➔ Religion & Spirituality
yes
pray,listen,encourage
sometimes people need to just share with someone they feel they can trust.
2007-05-25 18:47:48 · answer #1 · answered by robert p 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think there are many situations that people can offer an objective opinion even though they themselves have not experienced the situation. While you may not have ever been married but I'd bet you've been in relationships that had some sort of a misunderstanding now and again. I'm also pretty sure that you know at least a few married couples that have problems and however they handled things and how it turned out, good or bad. I think you could be reasonably knowledgeable about it to help.
And what a compliment to you that these people have come to you to share their personal pain and think you're loving/caring/rational enough to lend and ear as well as some words of wisdom. Great Job!!
2007-05-23 17:23:35 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Depending on the situation, your advice might even be better than that of one who had gone through the situation. Sometimes it's hard to see things objectively when you are or have been too close to a situation. When a person gives advice about something they've never experienced, they also have no emotional baggage interfering in their response. Thus, it is possible that their advice may in fact be the most logical, rational, and helpful advice given. Theoretically.
The thing to avoid is coming off patronizing. You know: "Well, I can't say I've ever been there, because my marriage is a glowing success, but..."
If you avoid that, I think it's possible to give good advice on issues outside of your immediate frame of reference.
Good question!
2007-05-23 17:19:27 · answer #3 · answered by hoff_mom 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutely. Good counsel can come from a six year old or a tree or a dog or cat. just because you have never been in a situation does not mean that you don't have good advice on how to handle it. The advice you give may very well be why you have never been in a situation
2007-05-31 06:21:49 · answer #4 · answered by Syroth_Talbain 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My husband and I went to about 8 different counselors before we found one that fit our needs. This woman isn't really ethical to tell you she thinks you should divorce. That isn't her place. Her place is to guide you and teach you methods of communication so the two of you can work out your problems. Her place isn't to get involved with your problems and make assumptions as to whether you can work them out or not. That is you and your husband's decision. Get another opinion. Maybe several. When you go ask a lot of questions about the process and what you can expect from each session. Basically there should be a plan where you can follow your progress session by session. It sounds like this counselor isn't very good at what she does and instead of admitting she failed she would rather just blame it on you and your husband. You wasted a lot of time and money for nothing. If you love each other don't give up--that's the bottom line.
2016-05-21 07:01:27 · answer #5 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it is. If you are able to put yourself in their shoes. Step in side the box, while still being on the outside look in. Most often, we do what we want anyway and rely on others for assurance. If they didn't like your advice, I'm sure they found someone to tell them what they wanted to hear. Just don't every try giving advice on rasing children, without first having a child of your own. Things, such as marriage, is like a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship-on a more upscale approach. Otherwise, it's still a basic male/female relationship.
2007-05-23 17:13:35 · answer #6 · answered by crknapp79 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It is not possible for you to fully appreciate how a person feels, if you haven't been in the same circumstance, but I do believe you can give good solid advice regardless.
I would not, however, be dogmatic about what you are telling them, there are nuances in relationships that only the couple know about that will effect the dynamics of that relationship.
2007-05-24 03:05:50 · answer #7 · answered by Eartha Q 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you can give advice in matters in which you have no experience.
Although it is a good teacher, there are better, easier, and faster ways to learn than experience.
It is generally much safer to learn from the mistakes of others. One need not experience the pain others feel to empathize with them.
The most important thing about giving any advice; make sure that you are willing to follow it yourself.
2007-05-23 17:17:25 · answer #8 · answered by danny_boy_jones 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The best thing to do is to get the person/s to look at and solve the problem themselves.
Sure you can give counsel but that counsel is from your viewpoint. The solution needs to come from the ones involved.
2007-05-23 17:16:54 · answer #9 · answered by michaeljripley 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Solomon in the Bible gave counsel to the people of Israel. It is possible to give good counsel to people and not have experienced the situation itself.
2007-05-23 17:18:41 · answer #10 · answered by Matthew Payne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
An objective observer can sometimes give better advice than someone who is (or was) involved in a similar situation. You don't bring any preconceptions or emotional baggage to the problem and have no personal stake in the outcome.
2007-05-23 17:15:16 · answer #11 · answered by irish1 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋