Parents of child in gifted program?

Question

My son will be in 7th grade next year and today his English teacher called me to ask if I was interested in having him tested for the gifted program. I told her I would discuss it with him and then decide. In the past, when it was suggested to me that I should have him tested, I always ignored it. But now that he is older, I am thinking he may actually enjoy the challenge, especially because English/Language Arts is one of his favorite subjects. There are a few things that make me think twice about it. One being he was in accelerated math this past year, and he hated it. Halfway through the year, his math teacher told me that he didn't struggle with the actual math, he was just lazy and not interested. Now he says that math is one of his least favorite subjects. The other reason being that I was in the gifted program in elementary school and I lasted for one year. I burned out on it rather quickly and chose not to participate again.

I feel that my experience changed how I felt about school. I do not want this to happen to him. Of course, I do want him to be challenged but not get burned-out or overwhelmed. Also, I worry about the possibility of his GPA dropping.
What has your experience been? Do you think it is has been a positive thing for your child?

Answer 1

I would caution against it. The talented and gifted programs generally don't address the fact that these students learn and think differently than the general student population. The administrators seem to think that all a gifted student needs is more work at a faster pace. That just burns them out and often turns them off to their education in general. I believe in most school districts your child can be tested for the program with out actually participating in the program. If you choose to allow your son to be tested and he tests well I would suggest thinking about how he feels about some introductory college courses, maybe at a community college. I know that at least at the local university there are a lot of younger than college age students, especially during the summer term. Also the Uni here has a summer program specifically focused towards gifted students that seems to get very good reviews from the students. Just a few things to look into that might help make the most of your sons natural aptitudes with out burning him out.

Answer 2

You really need to look at their gifted program. I remember when I was high school I tested into the gifted and talented found out that it was all busy work and I had to do more than every other student and was turned off. The following year I took the placement test and blew it off so I wouldn't be placed in higher classes. However a year after that we moved and my parents found an innovative school that had things that I was interested in and the work was worthy of attention and I had no problem applying myself for a worthwhile cause that I could see benefit from and I was able to gain scholarships and other opportunities that I desired so I owned it.

There is nothing wrong with your son's gifted and talentedness, but there may be something wrong with your school's one size fits all gifted and talented program. My daughter is gifted and talented and she enjoys the mundane mixed with a little excitement. She at this point doesn't mind busy work but then again I supplement what she is doing with experiences of showing her where some of her developing skills have the potential to take her.

Talk to your son and see why math was an issue, really, and go from there. Lit could be different especially if he finds passion there anyway. Talk to the teacher and see what the program consists of and is it a good fit for your son.

Good luck!

Answer 3

Honestly, it all depends on your son. My personal experience with advanced classes was great. If one of my classes was the hardest the school offered and another was just a simple, required class, I would be aceing the advanced class and failing the easy one. Especially with math, if I was bored with the work and it got too monotonous, I just simply wouldn't do it. I could have passed any test you gave me with flying colors, but if you wanted me to figure out 40 algebraic equations when I wanted to move on to trig... it wasn't gonna happen! And with 'ignoring' the chance... my mom was offered the chance to move me up a grade level, but didn't even discuss it with me. By the time she realized that I would have been better off that way and talked to me about it, they wouldn't move me anymore because my grades had dropped so far from me putting off the ridiculously easy homework that I refused to do. So make sure you have at least offered the idea to him.

If it's one of his favorite subjects, then being 'bored' with the class probably wouldn't be an issue. It will most likely require a lot of reading material to be completed in a shorter length of time, and there will probably be a ton of in-class discussions and homework/tests depending on how the teacher runs the class. Assuming that he has had no problems getting his work in for his current class and his grades have stayed high, then I think he should be just fine.

But the main thing you need to do is talk to him about what HE wants to do. Explain to him that it is going to be hard work, but that it would be an amazing opportunity for him to challenge himself and that you will support him no matter what he decides.

And don't forget that he would be able to include any accelerated courses in a college application, assuming that the college he applies to looks back that far. (Some don't) But even so, this would be a great test run if he is considering taking any advanced classes in high school.

I'd say try it, but I'm always up for a good challenge!! :) Good luck!! I hope everything goes well for the both of you!!

Answer 4

Our 9 year old was placed in the Gifted program at the start of 1st grade. Her Kindergarten teacher recommended testing her, and I was reluctant because I didn't want to "label" her, and also, I was concerned about her being different to the other children, etc... Well, I am happy to say it was the best thing we did! She loves going to her Gifted class each week and really excels. She always wants to do more than the required projects and has an internal love for knowledge and learning. With that said, I personally think your son may be a bit too old to be placed in the Gifted program. He is at that age where "different" is not a good thing. Unless he has other friends in there with him, it may do more harm than good. I would talk it over with him, explain all that you can to him about the program, and then go from there. It is a much better thing to have your child like school than to become more stressed out by being placed in the Gifted program.

Answer 5

Well I was in the gfted child program. It turn into a mess for the kid. I was an A gifted child student. Got a B once and I was a retarded child who shou;dn't even live. And yet, that would be if some kid got a F. And there B is a good job. Then, not to mentio I had the gifted class 4 days a month. And the teacher normally showed up for 2 of them. And it was about 3 hours. Not worth it at all.

Answer 6

No offense mom, but you're hoovering!

I think this decision should be up to your son. But I understand that you want to have a little input in the conversation. When you talk to him about it, if at all possible, only suggest concepts or ask questions, don't offer facts such as "I didn't like it," or "Your GPA might drop." Just ask him if he thinks he'll benefit from it and why, or ask him what he thinks it will do to his GPA.

I was in the honors program in school and I feel like I really did benefit from it. Every teacher is different. Every student is different. And ever honors course is different. So really all he can do is try. I did end up dropping out of the gifted program in school because of a certain member of the faculty who I felt was inadequate in her job, but I still don't regret the good years that I did have. I would say that he'll probably regret it more if he doesn't give it a try.

Answer 7

I may be a dissenting vote but I couldn't have tolerated school without the gifted program. I hated school, my teachers didn't like me because I was always done early and could do things too well. I got good grades but hated school. We moved to a school that had a gifted program and I loved it. I didn't feel like I was out of place anymore and I didn't feel like the teacher wanted me out of the way. It depends on the program but I definitely was better for it. I was in elementary school when I started but when I got to Jr. High, having the challenge was fun. It was a shock at first because I actually had to work a little, it wasn't so easy that I could just coast. That may have been your son's issue, he had had it so easy that having a challenge was a shock and he was afraid of failing so he fought it. I would talk it over with him but encourage him to do it. Stepping up to a challenge and pushing himself will help him far more than a 4.0 GPA. College won't be easy enough to coast through and learning to work now will help a lot. Besides, no one actually cares about your GPA in Jr. High. It will give him the chance to prove to himself that he can work and that he is actually smart, something most gifted people question about themselves as they age. Most of us feel like we are living a lie and aren't what everyone thinks we are. We have to prove our own worth to ourselves and he may need a little push to do that. Just my two cents.

Answer 8

I graduated from high school over a year ago. I had been in the gifted programs since second grade, and I have never regretted the decision to do so. Colleges I applied to looked at the difficulty of the courses I took, and as such, I was accepted to my first choice colleges. I'll admit there were times when I didn't like the classes I was taking. They were harder, of course. But I had the potential to do well and now I see the benefits of staying in the gifted programs. Also, students in gifted programs tend to get more of the one on one attention that can help them with grades and tests. My friends complain about how hard their college classes are, but to me, they seem fairly simple, due in part to the rigor of the classes I took in grade school. If your child qualifies for a gifted program, put him in it as soon as you can. He may not like some classes if they are harder, but few children enjoy doing schoolwork. He'll be thankful he took those classes later. Talk to him and have him tested. Even if he resists the classes, if he is qualified, he should be in them. This is a decision that can affect the colleges he is accepted to, as well as things like his critical thinking ability and the amount of difficulty he will have in college classes. Most seventh graders aren't mature enough to make the decision that forces them to do harder work, so although you should talk to him, this is not a decision he should have the final say in. Don't cheat your child of a wonderful opportunity to expand his horizons and challenge his mind; support the growth of his intelligence, and get him in that program if he's qualified. Best of luck from a student who is still reaping the benefits of a gifted program.

Answer 9

If your son wants to enter testing, certainly allow him to do that. When it comes to the actual classes, it's a good idea for a parent to be pretty involved in the process. Some schools operate a "gifted" program by using whatever teacher is available and providing more challenging course materials. Other schools have designated teachers who specialize in teaching gifted students, and their energy keeps the coursework challenging and interesting. It sounds like maybe your son encountered the first situation with accelerated math, and you certainly wouldn't want the same thing to happen with English. Only proceed with the classes if you are satisfied with the coursework and the instructor, and stay involved so you don't get surprises like the comment from his math teacher. Boredom in the classroom is a terrible thing, but inadequate instruction and motivation can be even worse!

Answer 10

My daughter was in the gifted program, and the worst problem she had was one teacher that I thought was jealous. This was a "pull out" program where the kids were removed from certain classes one day a week for gifted studies (one hour per week only). The teacher resented anybody being pulled out of her class so made it much harder for my daughter to keep up with the class. I discussed it with her and gave her some hints on how to get along with this teacher. It was more work, but she was up to the challenge. Sometimes they got to go on field trips and solve problems. She had a tendency to be bored in class because she understood things right away, particularly math, and because of that got disruptive in class. After overcoming that, she went on to college where she was accepted to the honors program. She dropped out of the honors program because she considered it a lot more work for very little gain. College can be a real wakeup call for someone who hasn't had to study in school -- ever. Gifted programs can be wonderful, and they can be terrible. I think most of them are terrible because they're taught by teachers that haven't a clue about what it's like to be gifted. It is easier for them to teach to the lowest common denominator and let the gifted children take care of themselves. He might be interested in joining "clubs" or working on school newspapers. Sometimes even the "gifted" classes offer no challenge, just more work. I think that was what turned your son off math. Consider contacting your local Mensa group to see if they have any activities for gifted children.