Dated a guy, broke up with him because of his anger issues. It's been almost 6 months, and I've had sporadic contact with him. He's had counselling, anger management, he's got a different (less stressful) job, different roommates, and he's inquiring about going back to school to improve himself. He also says he wants me back. Do I trust him? Has he really changed or is all that just for my benefit?
2007-05-23 16:03:27 · 19 answers · asked by Sarah 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Well, he certainly has moved in what seems to be in a better direction. You can be glad for him on those accounts.
You cannot pick up with him where he and you left off. If he wants to re-establish a relationship with you, he will have to earn it. You need to find out what he has learned in 6 months and it has to come from him. Change is a process. What he tells you and how he tells you will allow you to see if he has really changed. He may still have some stumbling blocks, but that is what he can talk to you about. It would be really nice for his humanity to begin emerging.
2007-05-23 16:17:41 · answer #1 · answered by Monsieur Rick 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he is off to a great start, however only time will tell, Sit back and observe, see if he is really doing what he is saying he's doing. I wouldn't jump back into a serious relationship with him, I would let him have a good year to really focus on himself, and for him to continue making the positive changes that he is making.
2007-05-23 23:10:31 · answer #2 · answered by FISHIN 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It hasn't been 6 months yet. Why the rush? Get some counseling from a abuse center before you commit to this relationship. If he is doing this for your benefit, the abuse will be worse if not fatal if he has not changed.
2007-05-23 23:08:23 · answer #3 · answered by gail.gaines@sbcglobal.net 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You know he has truly changed when he shows you actions that he has changed. Personally, I do not suggest that you get back together with him just yet. Spend some time with him on a friendship basis and what his actions. Give him at least 8 months - let him prove that he has changed.
2007-05-23 23:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by fancyface1 l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your guy has taken steps to help himself with his anger issues. Those are big steps and big changes.
I would see him again if that's what you feel. But be cautious. And the best way to tell if he's really changed is to give it time.
In this case also, listen to your gut. If you feel unsafe with him, then do not see him any more. But from what you wrote, it seems to me he is trying and is open to getting help. Those are big pluses for him.
2007-05-23 23:11:31 · answer #5 · answered by LindaLou 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Abuse is a cycle. Even with counseling this rarely ever changes over the long haul. Run and find someone worthy of you.
2007-05-23 23:08:41 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
People change everyday...the question is...was it for himself or for you? If he changed just to better his self, then maybe there is hope for you two. If he changed just for you, then it might not be so promising. Not to sound so harsh, but my experience is that if you try to change someone to be what you want them to be, then they just fall back into the same pattern of their past. It's worth a try if you're willing to risk it. Good Luck!
2007-05-23 23:09:00 · answer #7 · answered by Punkie Brewster 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
erm hi, i also just break off with my girl friend just because of my anger n say words that hurt her. but i really have no intention to. i don't mean to her hurt. Just because of my temper i hurt her. N now i know how much she mean to me. I will change for her and start all over again with her. so please give him a chance if he is sincere to u this time! alll the best
2007-05-23 23:09:17 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
A leopard can't change its spots. So, at some point he'll explode again and you might be on the wrong end of it.
Try finding some one new. Maybe Yahoo personals might help.
2007-05-23 23:09:28 · answer #9 · answered by Aliz 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only way to find out is start being just friends with him. Do not move in with him or do anything else that is drastic. You will eventually see the signs and then you can walk away.
2007-05-23 23:07:19 · answer #10 · answered by luvlisteningtomusic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋