we have a 6 month old baby and she has been extremely listless and fussy today, has been screaming non stop all day, and coughing and pulling at her ears. the doctors office couldn't get us in until tommorrow night at 7pm, thats over 24 hours away. well I wanted to take her to the ER instead of waiting, but my husband had a softball game, He didn't offer to watch our oldest daughter or to go with me, he said it didn't take 2 of us to go. So i had my dad watch my oldest daughter and i took the baby to the ER by myself. Is anyone elses husband this way?? what would you have done or how would you have react? I called him a Dick head and I told him he cared more about letting his team down instead of letting me down. and that he didn't even have to watch his daughter when i went cause my dad was going to take his responsibility. now that i am back and we are all home should i bring it up or just ignore it and be mad??
2007-05-23 15:31:34 · 18 answers · asked by ilovemykids 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Don't let it go and not say anything. But be the bigger person here and approach it with a calm and cool attitude. Speaking from experience from someone who can become a stone wall if I attack him verbally, it is best to look at this with logic and reason your way through it.
I have two children myself and have often felt like I was the only one doing the parenting. Approach him with the attitude of how can we fix this. He could very well not understand how to handle a situation like this and feels that you are the better parent. Pointing out that he failed again WILL NOT make this situation better.
I sincerely hope your baby is doing better. Good luck and God Bless.
2007-05-23 16:12:08 · answer #1 · answered by gzc721 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should just explain to him that you are sorry and you didn't realize he was expecting a call from work, but on the other hand, how could you have known? If he is always working, it's hard to know when it's important or just him bringing work home. He is your husband, he should separate his work time and his life time. Ask him if over a weekend or after 7 or 8pm he could leave his phone off sometimes and enjoy spending time with you? I hope it all works out. Don't be too nervous, he did marry you :] He loves you and can't stay mad forever.
2016-05-21 05:54:06 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, bring it up and talk about it, but NOT TODAY. Your emotions are high and so as his.
What you (two of you) need is not a type of discussions where you'd call him "dick head" and he calls you something similar. You need to come to understanding of each other's responsibilities and expectations. While I'm surprised you haven't done this already, it is not too late. Your goal is to resolve the issue, and find a way to prevent it from recurring. NOT to decide who's right or wrong. That is almost secondary. (Yes, he was wrong) I believe you gain the most this way.
I say this because I only have your word to read, and I don't have the sense of urgency that you seem to have. I have no idea you really had an emergency or could wait 24 hours. I just don't know. It seems it was irresponsible and priorities ill-placed for your husband to leave, but again, I don't have all the facts.
BUT, definitely, talk about it. Otherwise, it will remain unresolved and it will happen again. Unless you are ready to end it all (I'm sure you are not) over this one incident, the only way to continue is RESOLVE the problem.
I see many are quick to point out he was wrong, but my question is, then what? You still need to resolve this problem.
2007-05-23 15:39:50 · answer #3 · answered by tkquestion 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It definitely sounds like your husband has failed to recognize his priorities or has them out of order. Family comes first, before anything else and he needs to learn that. If he wants to play on a softball team then fine but when you or the children really do need him he needs to put that activity on the back burner. I'm sure when he shoved his responsibility off on your father it made you feel hurt, let him know that too.
However, even though I think you have every right to be angry by his decision, wait until you've given yourself some time to cool down so that you can get to the bottom of this problem opposed to having a screaming match with him.
2007-05-23 16:45:07 · answer #4 · answered by Lwood 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ignore it and stop being mad. Later, when things are calmer between you, sit down and talk about this so that he understands why you were upset and wanted his help. Also, try to understand that, as a team member, he also had a responsibility to play and not let the team down. I think he thought the baby wasn't so sick (he wasn't home all day listening to her cry) and everything was under control, so he didn't think it was such a big deal. However, I'm sure a part of him feels guilty about the whole incident and he'll feel defensive if you argue about it right now.
2007-05-23 15:40:05 · answer #5 · answered by majormomma 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not ignoring it if you're mad!!
He sounds like a good candidate for being an EX husband. Although, I'm sure this wasn't the first time he screwed you or his own child in exchange for satisfying his own pleasure. You picked a loser. I don't think I'd even really trust him to take care of the children--he doesn't seem to hold their welfare in high regard.
BUT....just to play devil's advocate:
Did he understand that someone needed to watch your oldest, or were you hoping he'd catch on. Sometimes you have to be really really blunt with guys, you know. Don't always assume they should know. Cause sometimes their minds just don't work that way. Especially if you've been supermom for him.
2007-05-23 23:30:53 · answer #6 · answered by jjuudee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Bring it up so that you can resolve it. I don't know your at home situation if you are overwhlemed by 2 kids now. If so and you know that it is a big deal with everything in the first place he should have took you to the hospital. That is gone now but let him know how you really felt being as calm as possible, opposite to what he would think and figure out away to give him a dose of his medicine,haha.
2007-05-23 15:51:03 · answer #7 · answered by Nya 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd have a problem with any man making his baseball game his top priority over his children. Since he wants to play ball, I'd play ball with him. I'd strike him out, right where it counts. Just because I'm a woman doesn't mean I can't hit them balls.
2007-05-23 15:40:36 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would be pissed if that happened to me...and its not like u just wanted him to stay home, u had an emergency with a sick infant and thats dangerous...i would not let him back in....and im 18
2007-05-23 15:37:05 · answer #9 · answered by Anastasia F 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The answer to your question is to talk it out, because you don't want to keep things bottled up inside, also most married man can be like this
But DEFINITELY bring it up because it'll only make you madder.
2007-05-23 15:41:52 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica M 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋