Single mom with a teenage boy. How do I have "The Talk" with him?

Answer 1

put him in a Sex Education class. if he's in middle school its probably the best time to give the talk to him. any time after that its too late he already knows about it. i first learned about sex when i was in elementry school. from me and my friends just talking about it. and in 4th grade it just kinda finished it with the first health class i had when they were teaching us about our bodys and stuff like that

my dad first gave me the talk when i was 17 and it ended with me saying "why are you telling me this i already had sex a year ago"

Answer 2

As a teenager, he probably knows way more than you think he does mom. They have the standard class in 5th grade. No matter what age, the conversation is going to be awkward, and all the books people recommend seem to only make it worse and more dramatic. As a mother who's been through it, I suggest this: Don't have a formal talk. One day in the car, simply say "you know where babies come from right?"...he'll bust out laughing...so will you. Then in a round about sort of way, ask more questions. Then each time he's about to go out with his friends, make a comment about STD's or condoms. It's a sticky situation hon, and either you can do this openly with your son, so he knows that he can talk to you if he ever needs to, or it can become the monster in the room that nobody wants to talk about. This has become so second nature to me that even his friends joke about the sex talk and let me know they aren't going to be doing anything that is going require a shot of penicillin or a trip to the free clinic.

And I learned this from experience. I'm a social worker and I've heard all sorts of stories from kids about "having the talk". When it's done traditionally, I've learned that kids pretty much block out what their parents say and sit there praying for it to be over. Countless times I've heard from kids that they'd be okay to learn this stuff if their parents weren't so weird about it. With that being the case, I've taken a very non-traditional method with my children and it's worked wonders. It opened doors and every now and then they'll ask questions about a rumor they heard about a new std or things they hear their friends saying. To me, that's more than I could ask for.

I wish you luck...and trust me, it's not that bad.

Answer 3

My mom was a wonderful person but being a woman she could not give me a male perspective because she was a woman. There are things guys do, things guys think about, that only other guys understand, or could talk about. This might seem like a rather strange idea, but would it be possible for you to make an appointment for your son to talk with his sex education instructor for private counseling? It might be worth it to pay the person for his time. Tell them to both lay all the cards on the table without embarassment and to swear secrecy if that makes them more comfortable. If that can't be done, is it possible you know some responsible man who you trust who might offer the same kind of male perspective? Anyway, I understand why this kind of talk might make you feel uncomfortable. Best of luck!

Answer 4

I think the best thing is to realize that The Talk is actually a long conversation that lasts for years. Often there's stuff on TV or in the news that you could use as a starting point.

Maybe begin by telling him that you know he's growing up and you want to make sure he has all the information and knowledge needed to make safe, confident choices.

It's a tough thing, but you rock for not avoiding the issue! You'll do great.

Answer 5

If you live in America you probably don't need to have the talk. The school system has done it for you and he could probably teach you some things. Ha. Seriously though, the Sex Education program at least at public schools is pretty extensive. My parents never had the talk with me and I don't think I would have gained anything from it. If you treat it more as a parent child bonding experience it may be beneficial but... As I said they go pretty well in depth in schools.

Answer 6

If you waited this long to think about how you were going to approach this situation ...than you may possibly have waited too long...your children will pick up on cues from you on how you deal with sex and relationships in your own life and issues that are raised throughout life...if you waited because you didn't think the child would understand than you did both of you a grave injustice....I would start by asking your child what they are curious about and what kind of information they have received from other sources and take it from there be open and honest and make sure your child feels comfortable talking to you about it.....you should be the one responsible for educating your child...not anyone else....good luck

Answer 7

you could always use your own experience as an example but that normally only works on girls....

here's what my boyfriends father told him and my boyfriend actually listened and it has worked for all his siblings aswell..

his dad told him
- if you want to have sex do it but in your own house or apartment.
- don't be an idiot- you use protection for your OWN safety
- girls lie- they are not always on the pill and they do not always take it properly.
- if the girl refuses to use a condom than she doesn't care enough about you for you to have sex with her.
- when you have sex you are making a promise to that girl that if she becomes pregnant you going to be there for her for the next 21 years of her life and for the child.
- if you can't even afford condoms, keep it in your pants- you can't afford a child.
- don't give it away to the first girl you see
- if you get a girl pregnant don't look at me for money- it's not my child.
- you need to have a job before thinking about having sex.
etc etc etc


my grandmother gave me a sex/period talk when I was about 8 years old because my father asked her to. Honestly that alone was enough to keep my pants on. Can't do anything when your grandma shaking her head at you pops into your head everytime you think of doing something....plus I really didn't want to be another statistic of teen pregnancy...also my brother had a kid when he was 18..I was 16 at the time and the way the family treated him after that was just horrible...
so I didn't want to be like that...plus it would disappoint my dad and I've done that enough already I'm not going to add an unwanted pregnancy to the list.
I love my nephews don't get my wrong..but wrong timing and kind of ruined my bro's life...plus the girl...lets not go there.

best of luck!

Answer 8

You need to sit him down. Explain to him that when you got pregnant with him you didn't set out to not have his Dad in his life. It was a mistake and you are sorry. You don't want him to repeat the same mistakes you made because your life will be more difficult and it doesn't need to be that way. Unfortunately, when we are teens, we can do things that will change the rest of our lives. If your son would get a girl pregnant in high school, he would be paying child support to that girl for the next 20+ years. That may ruin his chances of falling in love and marrying another girl when she finds out. She may want nothing to do with that child. She will want her own children and has no intention of working to support your child plus deal with the mother of that child. Everything has effects in our lives. So it is very important that you go to school, learn, go on to college or some kind of training and then find a girlfriend.

Answer 9

1st, ask him what he wants to do with his life.
2nd, how much money would he like to make.
3rd, now tell him that there are all kinds of women that are looking for a well established man once he has his life in order.
Now tell him that if he gets a girl pregnant all those's wish's & dreams are not going to come true,and he'll just be living in a van next to a river.

Answer 10

you might want to have a male friend who could casually ask if he has any questions regarding "The Talk" because as a former kid of a single Mom thats how I asked questions.