What should I have done?

Question

Ok, I am in middle school and I recently went back to my elementary school for an ice cream social. While I was there, a young girl (I would guess maybe 8-10 years old) was very rude and insulting to smaller children there, calling them names and hitting them. When I approached her, she began hitting me and calling me very insulting names. She began to punch me in private areas of my body, and consequently I had the strong urge to pound her into unconsciousness. Remember, this was all with no provocation whatsoever. When I spoke to her mother about it, she waved it off as 'typical behavior.' Later, I asked her to explain why she hit me, and I quote, "Why should I tell you, dork?" and "Because you're fat, ugly, and stupid." I weigh 95 pounds, work out, and maintain a 4.0 GPA. What should I have done?

This was at a get together that happened to be at my elementary school. There were no authorities.

Answer 1

Unfortunately there are a lot of psycho brats out there with parents that don't care. You handled it properly. The kid has a big problem.

Answer 2

I am surprised that the behavior of this child did not bother the other parents. I am even more surprised that other parents are oblivious to this abusive behavior at the time. I am sure that reports had been made and no step has been taken to correct this behavior? If she was basically rude and violent toward other smaller children there, I would not hesitate to voice my concerns to the person in charge and even to the principal.

If she were seen hitting and or insulting to my kids or any kids, I would remind the school that there is a liability issue here . The school will in turn force the parents to take responsibility and start disciplining the child before it's too late. You were handling the situation the best you could at the time.

Next time, don't give her the luxury of answering you back; give her a firm, "That was not nice. You need to stop it right now." and give her the most disapproving look you can muster! That should stop her cold.

Answer 3

What you did was correct. You should also notify a principle and/or teacher. For a whole host of reasons you should not strike back unless you could not escape and honestly needed to stop the attack.

It is quite possible that the child was special needs...they can get very irrational and physical (take it from me...a parent of a special needs child)...and they do not always "look" special needs. A person with severe ADD, mania or autism will look just like anyone else.

This could explain why their mother just seemed to brush it off as typical...it may have (unfortunately) been.

Note to others on this question:
Mommy might have raised a spoiled bratt; but it is unfortunate to note in others responses how quick they are to make that assessment. My child is autistic ...looks to be about 9 years old because of his size ( he's only 7) and appears perfectly normal...until he does not get whatever he is focussed on at the time, then he will attack us, his aids and any person in the area. It is hard to watch the other adults when he does this in public because you can tell by the dissaproving expressions that they have concluded that we're raising a spoiled bratt when we're doing everything we can to raise a kid who we hope at best may someday approach the fringes of "normal".

Answer 4

Her mother said it all when she said "typical behavior." She has more than likely been excusing her behavior for years, and so now neither one of them has a grip on reality. I was in the grocery store once buying hamburger. There was this cute two year old black boy in the cart seat next to the hamburger, I smiled at him as I picked up the meat. He responded by telling me he was "gonna cut me" loudly three times. The parents were standing close by laughing. It is true that the apple never falls far from the tree. You obviuosly had an advantage and had parents that taught you better...I share your frustration though. In my case I told the store mananger who said, 'he is just a kid." When these kids wind up in trouble as adults, their parents will be saying, I don't know what went wrong.

Answer 5

Not that I would have FELT like doing this in that situation (I definitely would have wanted to pound her into the ground as well), but the best thing is to do what you did, and then just show kindness to people like that. Know where to set your own boundaries though. I"m not saying you should just stand there and take it. YOu were right to speak to an adult, but sometimes parents don't believ etheir own kids to be in the wrong, so you may have to speak to a third party (someone not involved, like a teacher or principal in this case).

Answer 6

look i believe in live and let live she can't get in any real trouble account of her age.

but i am a parent of a child that is gonna put my kid in school soon.

and if i feel or hear there is a bully hitting other people's kid's the principle should be notified of the this fact.

and that child should be told by a school a official to stop acting out this way toward's other kid's

cause if i found out there was a bully bothering my kid and nothing was being done by the school to protect him i would march into that school and go off on those who are suppose to guard are children from physical and mental abuse.


as far as you leaving it be was the right way to handle it.

Answer 7

Nothing. She's a jerk, that doesn't mean you should act like one. Imagine both of you 10 years from now, you'll be a fine young man, she'l probably be in a whacko hospital or in jail.
If being a dork means having a 4.0 GPA, I wish I was a dork.

Answer 8

Wow! What a mean, nasty child. And her parent, I am just appalled at her not reprimanding her kid. The more I hear about some kids' behaviour, the more I think we should send them all to "nice School" every Saturday since most don't go to church, this should be mandatory, and they have to go until they learn the golden rule SO well. I give up, what a brat!

Answer 9

You did a good thing by talking to her mom, but with a mom that ignores the problem like she did, no wonder the kid is so messed up. I think the child is doing it to get attention. Her mom does not care enough to punish her so she probably does not pay attention to her at all. Besides talking to some school staff, there is not much you could do.

Answer 10

Tell the Principal or the Building Manager. My husband is a Building Manager at a Middle School and will not tolerate it when the students are mean or violent to one another. He takes them and puts them to work emptying trash, sweeping, etc. If they continue being troublesome, they are transferred to another school.

Answer 11

You did the right thing by telling the kid's mother. It's too bad the kid is a spoiled brat, and mommy just thinks her little darling can do no wrong. I see big problems for her in the future. Too bad.