my husbands 7yr old son wants his dads attention all the time is this just a phase?

Question

my husband has his son 50% of the time.He divorced his ex when tom was just a baby and i have been in his life since he was 2yrs old so this life is all tom knows.But in the last yr or so tom has gotten very jealous of me and wants his dad to himself.Now my husband is the perfect dad and spends quality time with his son alone and with me.But lately tom does not even want his dad to watch tv with me after he goes to bed he wants him to stay with him till he falls asleep.If my husband trys to talk to me about something tom starts climbing all over us trying to get attention from his dad.now my husband spends almost all his time with tom(we never get a babysitter when tom is over we just go out when we don't have tom) playing and doing what he wants. but when we do talk tom will make my husband feel guilty by saying things like "Its my special time with u do something with her when i'm not here" can anyone tell me why he is doing this?

Answer 1

I htink he is repeating his mother words
why don't you play the same game
make Tom your primary concern when he is around that's taking him to a special movy just the two of you
if he like Mcdonalds take him
tell him that you would like to spent time with him as well
and you are kind of jealous that he only wants his father
Tom is feeling scare that he will be replace with a baby
make him knows that he is wanted by you, you are his family as well
I know what I am talking about I was a stepdaughter, have a stepdaugther as well
he is feeling insecure and his father will never no matter what make him feel secure but you can because in his eyes you are the treat
Good luck

Answer 2

He is jealous, and manipulative, and 7. While not acceptable, it is understandable. Try to stay back a bit but don't relinquish your home and couch just because Tom is over. Make sure that you do the fun stuff with them and keep up the good work by not planning to go out etc when he is over. It is important that your hubby makes it clear that Tom is part, (just part) of his life and so are you. This issue needs to be addressed with Tom now, should you and your husband ever have a child, Tom's behavior will become a HUGE problem fast. Your hubby needs to make it clear that the time Tom is at your house is your special time TOGETHER AS A FAMILY and that you will be included. Tom will riot, but it will get better.

Answer 3

WOW, there could be several reasons for this behavior.
1. At this age Tom could be going through a normal round of insecurity that will pass after a few months.
2. Things could be kind of crazy at Tom's mother's place. Is she remarried, has she recently begun to see someone or someone new?
3. Has your husband and Tom's mother had a recent disagreement and Tom is aware of it? ie: maybe Tom's mother is fussing about child support and has said something in front of Tom to the effect that if your hubby does not start paying better Tom will no longer see his dad.
4. Could Tom's mother have an issue with you? Maybe Tom has overheard something or been directly told something to the effect that when he is with dad you are not supposed to take any of dad's time.
I suggest dad talk to Tom and gently ask some questions such as, "hey Tom, you mad at_____?" or "You know Tom, _______kind of feels like you don't like her anymore, what's wrong?"
Does Tom ever call you MOM? if so, maybe he slipped and said it in front of his mom and she got upset about it.
Good luck.

Answer 4

My son is about to turn 7, we spend a lot of time together now. When he was born until about 2 or 3, he wanted nothing to do with me, it was all mommy, lol. Now he's gotten a bit older, we hang out, go fishing, shooting, and are looking into a archery class we could do together.

I understand Tom's frustration, his family is torn apart. He gets 50% of his dad (that is if dad is spending 100% of his visits with Tom) rather then a full time mom and dad (best case scenario) Being that Tom only sees dad half the time, he struggles to make up for the loss in his life. Naturally he can't express his felling like an adult, so he acts the way he does. I think the best case scenario for Tom, is for dad to spend 100% of his time w/him while he is on visits. Meaning one on one time, just dad and Tom. That's what I would do.

Answer 5

This seems to be a normal response to having two women in his life. You didn't mention the (other) mother in his life. My best answer is to just show him how much you care. And that he means a lot to you also. Make some cookies together, just you and him. You can get them by the dairy department where you just have to cut and cook. At this age the child has to deal with school, friends, and wondering what it is. And also, sharing time with the three of you is very important. Go for a walk to the park, down the sidewalk in your neighborhood (laugh at your neighbors lawns and check out their gardens), go to the animal shelter and look at the pets, try to do things together. This is important. If you are a major part of his fathers life, you are also a major part of his also. Good Wishes

Answer 6

Tom sounds jealous.because his dad has another special person in his world. I would let them have special time together, but also Tom has to learn that the three of you can have special time together also. EG the three of you can play board games,go out and get an ice cream etc Always make the little one feel welcome,cook his favorite meal watch his favorite movie together even though you have seen it 10,000 times. Sounds like you could be a little jealous too,even when your there give them time like reading a story or playing a sony play station. If dad has to chose you will lose.

Answer 7

Personally i dont want to sound cocky saying this but i think ur the jealous one i have a 2 year old son and if he wants all my time then hes going to get it they only stay young for so long and if i was your husband i would cherish every moment of it .....u should understand that expecially himbeing a little boy he should want his dad my son is not even that old yet and all he wants is his dad ....but i understand that and i dont get jealous even when they spend time together .....maybe it is just a Phase or mayb he is jealous because his dad is spending too much time with u maybe u should back off for a little while see how things go maybe once he sees he got his dad backk then he wont be like that or u should have ur husband sit down and have a talk see whats going on ....good luck

Answer 8

A boy looks at his dad as an example of what it means to be a man. I am married and have two children.
My wife and I make sure that we each get to spend at least an hour each day alone with each of our children