This guy I'm dating said he was using the "services" in between relationships. He says he did it a couple of times before we started dating, like 2 months before. He told me about it like a BTW thing when our relationship moved into having sex stage. I said "How gross and unsafe". He took it as a hint and went and did a blood test. He's fine. Even though we had sex already, it still grosses me out. Especially I hate it that he didn't bother mentioning it when we questioned each other about our history. I can't seem to go past it. What do you say? Am I old-fashioned? It doesn' bother me that he had sex with a few girlfiends before me. We're in late 20's almost 30. Serious answers please.
Yes, we use condoms. But they only reduce the risk, not eliminate it. It's more of an emotional issue anyway.
2007-05-23 13:34:00 · 7 answers · asked by Everybody's Favorite 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
His reason was he really wanted it and he felt that a hoockup at a bar is less safe.
2007-05-23 13:46:07 · update #1
You should be careful with this one, if he didn't tell you about that there might be other things he didn't tell you about. It is also a big risk for him to put himself and more so you into.
And I agree there is a big difference between having sex with a girlfriend or boyfriend that you've been with for a little while vs someone you pay off the street.
As I said be careful, I will be the first to admit if a girl lets you off easy for one lie or thing you weren't open about you'll do it again with other things.
However don't just give up on him, tell him it bothers you and that you want him to be honest from now on, if he's ok with that idea then it might be fine, if he gets upset there's a reason he doesn't want to be honest.
2007-05-23 13:41:23 · answer #1 · answered by Yomi Minamino 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he doesnt have any std's then you should have anything to worry about. Its possible that he thought the only option for him is to hire some "services". These days they are more professional and in australia they are borderline legal (think about it, its better then some despo guys doing something stupid).
It should be no different, if you love him you will find a way around it. Besides it will make for good stories later on and hookers probally know all the best moves cause they do it for a living, unlike other females :)
2007-05-23 20:41:48 · answer #2 · answered by ChAtMaN 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You're not old fashioned, that would bother me too. BTW, how is paying someone who has sex with people for money for a living safer than meeting someone at a bar?! He should have told you BEFORE you guys had sex. Drop him, he's probably hiding other things too...
2007-05-23 20:51:28 · answer #3 · answered by Di 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you can't get past this issue, break it off. It doesn't sound as if you're likely to get over it. Also, you mentioned he had a blood test, what about the other tests?
2007-05-23 20:41:38 · answer #4 · answered by The Naughty Librarian 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you should ask yourself why he felt he had to pay for sex instead of getting a barfly or something. Most people can get it for free, right? I don't think you're old-fashioned; this is something that would seriously bother me.
2007-05-23 20:37:15 · answer #5 · answered by Trisha 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
What is gross about using the services? And he doesn't have to tell you everyhting because your not married to him and him to you. Just be glad that he is clean. But if it's gross to use services, how come it's not gross to have other gf's before you. At the services they are made sure to be tested every week, if they don't they will get kicked out. His ex's don't ahve rules and they might be grosser. SO if it's gross with one and not the other. Your emotions are not there for everyhting.
2007-05-23 20:41:20 · answer #6 · answered by Always ready for anything 5 · 0⤊ 4⤋
If it bothers you that much then get out it will always be in the back of your mind
2007-05-23 20:39:25 · answer #7 · answered by nitenurse 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋