Is the following paragraph good Engish? Like native author writing?

Question

Hi, I bought a book named practical English for business negociation. However, since I started to read it, I began to feel the language was a bit strange. I just doubt if it is good english written by author of native English speaker.

I think most people joining yahoo answer are native English speaker? ( Hope I am not wrong )

Please, give me your idea.

This strattegem starts with one side adopting a harsh and unbending approach which threatnes to deadlock the negotiations. Usually this will be a shock, either because no disagreement was expected or because of the extreme position. The victim feels that there is no way out of the impasse. However, following the negotiation the first party will come back and make an offer acceptable. This creates such a relief due to the release of tension that the victim immediately accepts.

Answer 1

I'm a Brit, and I'd write something like:

This STRATAGEM starts with one side adopting a harsh and unbending approach which THREATENS to deadlock the negotiations. Usually this will be a shock, either because no disagreement was expected or because of the extreme position. The victim feels that there is no way out of the impasse. However, following the negotiation(,) the first party will come back and make an ACCEPTABLE OFFER. This creates such A SENSE OF relief(,) due to the release of tension(,) that the victim immediately accepts.

I've capitalised all the words I'd change, and I've added three commas. The passage is certainly a little oddly written, but it's possible that it's the work of a native struggling to put their thoughts on paper, rather than a non-native. Though the latter is also a distinct possibility.

The use of the word 'victim' in a description of business transactions is perhaps a little odd, but considering that this is a description of a stratagem by which one person forces another into accepting a deal, the word is probably well chosen.

Answer 2

No, not spoken like a native English (at least American) speaker. It should probably read:

The exchange begins with one side adopting a harsh and inflexible approach which threatens to deadlock the negotiations. This is usually a shock because the other party either did not expect the disagreement or was shocked by the extreme postion. The second party will feel that there is no solution to the impasse. However, following the negotiation, the first party will come back with an acceptable offer. This creates a sense of relief in the second party and increases the chance that the second party will accept.

Answer 3

Yes it is quite odd. I am British and to say 'this creates such a relief' is bizarre because it is not keeping in tone with the rest of the paragraph and doesn't sound right. Also the part 'and make an offer acceptable' acceptable offer is correct unless they mean something else which isn't made clear here. There must be better books out there! By the way 你是中国人吗？I saw the Zhao part of your name! Your English is very good if so.

Answer 4

I don't think it was written by a native speaker.
There are several grammatical oddities (not necessarily absolutely wrong but unnatural and inelegant--"offer acceptable" IS wrong, it should be "acceptable offer" (or "make the offer acceptable")). The wording's odd, especially "victim".


There are also some spelling mistakes, but I assume (hope!) those are typos on your part.

Answer 5

I even have been working as a revenues representative in the generating marketplace for fairly much 3 years. as quickly as I worked as an account govt, i mandatory to coordinate with the interior departments and clientele with the intention to substantiate the specs of things and undertaking progression. meanwhile, I additionally mandatory to negotiate the suited cost and transport date with the clientele with the intention to create the suited hobbies for the two the enterprise and that is clientele. If mandatory, i mandatory to symbolize my enterprise to pass to the clientele across the international so as that i replaced into in a position to artwork independently and take the corporation holiday to approach new clientele on my very very own. My pastime adventure as a revenues supervisor required me to habit the product reflects to the foreign places clientele and verify they comprehend the product constructive factors and benefit. I additionally mandatory to check the pending matters with my revenues group weekly with the intention to grant the troubleshooting ideas to the clientele, as quickly as the disputes have been raised. All of my pastime adventure has made me grow to be the qualified candidate for this pastime place. i think of thats appropriate in spite of the actuality which you should to earnings it out with yet another man or woman i'm uncertain proper to the paragraphs!! sturdy success!

Answer 6

definitely odd. not fluid enough. if this is a business strategy, you might want to stay away from words like harsh, unbending, and victim.

Answer 7

get your money back!

terrible.