Okay, I have a problem and want some advice on what to do. Me and my bf (the father of my baby) have been arguing for the past week. When he gets mad he makes me ask him over and over to buy the things our daughter needs. Like for the past three days I have been telling him that our daughter needs diapiers. He waits till she has none, then buys them and takes them to work with him. (Just to make it harder on me to get) I was at school, so my dad goes to get them. His car doors are locked, and he wouldn't come outside to unlock them, cause he said he was busy. I mean it only takes a second to unlock a door, he was just counting money. So my dad has to leave and my daughter still has no diapiers. What I'm trying to ask is, should I just go ahead and file for child support or do you think I should just deal with the childish behavior? I really don't want to, because when we aren't arguing he buys whatever she needs, but when we are it's like he takes it out on her, too.
2007-05-23 11:45:35 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
We don't live together. I go to school, and he works. I live with my mom, and she said she would only watch her if I went to school and no other time. I can't find or afford a baby sitter. I make sure my daughter get what she needs even if I have to struggle to get it with out his help. I just feel like he should have to do his part too. I didn't get pregnant by myself.
2007-05-23 13:15:37 · update #1
We don't live together. I go to school, and he works. I live with my mom, and she said she would only watch her if I went to school and no other time. I can't find or afford a baby sitter. I make sure my daughter get what she needs even if I have to struggle to get it with out his help. I just feel like he should have to do his part too. I didn't get pregnant by myself.
2007-05-23 13:15:53 · update #2
File for support. End of story.
2007-05-23 11:50:53 · answer #1 · answered by inzbrkqt 4 · 6⤊ 0⤋
Listen, this man is playing games and the only person suffering because of his childish antics is your daughter. As her mother you have a responsibility to make sure that she has everything that she needs, when she needs it. Not when he feels it's convenient to give. Child support is designed for both parents to equally financially support children until they are able to support themselves. Filing for child support will save you the trouble of having to deal with this idiot and his evil power trips. It doesn't matter if you guys aren't arguing today and he buys what she needs. Tomorrow when she has even greater needs he might just decide to send you on another wild goose chase. How long are you going to allow him to treat your daughter this way? The bottom line is this is not about you and this is not about him. Your daughter is the main priority in this matter and if you have to bring a judge into the middle of this drama to restore some peace, then I say go for it. Years from now your daughter will appreciate the fact that you put your issues aside and went to bat for her. Good luck.
2007-05-23 13:14:20 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Well, if you're living with him, you probably can't file for child support. If I were you, I'd definitely move out and file, though. If he wants to be a child and take out his anger on both of you, by making your daughter suffer when he's mad at you, then he doesn't deserve to live in the same house as her. What he's doing borders on child neglect. He needs to grow up and act like a man.
2007-05-23 12:03:21 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like your boyfriend is a selfish childish idiot.
It's your job to protect your child...even if it's her father you have to protect her from...
Instead of sending your dad to the boyfriend to get the 10 bucks worth of diapers...send him to the store to buy some damn diapers. It doesn't matter where they come from ...whats important is that your baby gets what she needs.
You should get a job, or get a real man or get on welfare if you have to...but letting your baby go without and suffer just because her father is a moron and likes to play games...is not an option.
You sound young. Do yourself a favor and file for child support. You'll probably never get it...but at least the father won't be able to play games anymore. And do your baby a favor and try to figure out some kind of financial stability for yourself, even if it's state funded, so that she doesn't have to suffer.
Personally...I live with my mother, to save on rent and I also work full time. It's hard...but the baby has needs and he comes first. You have to do whatever you need to to take care of that baby...cut that boyfriend loose...he's no good.
*** OF course he should do his part...that doesn't mean he's going to ...and it doesn't do you or the baby any good to drive yourself nuts about it and chase him all over town for a pack of diapers. Nail his @ss to the wall and file for support...that way the police can chase him all over town for your money, instead of you and your dad wasting your time doing it.
2007-05-23 12:19:49 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
It will become more stressful if you don't handle it now. Your daughter deserves to be taken care of. Alot of states now have child support direct deposited into your account. Your daughter deserves this. Children do not become cheaper as they get older, and you have 18 years of this, and I'm sure you don't want to dance this dance that long. If he gets mad he'll withhold it, and it's for your child. It doesn't mean he's a bad person, it's just one less thing to argue about and cause friction. You can also go online and see what it would be, if you do a search on "child support calculator and your state" .
2007-05-23 11:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by briddy29 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
FILE NOW. What he is doing is a power trip to show you exactly who has the power in the relationship. NOT RIGHT, especially when it's the baby that is suffering. A man with enough issues that he needs to prove how powerful he is in that way is going to need a court order to make him take care of his child 100% of the time not just when he feels like things are going his way.
2007-05-23 11:52:05 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
I would just file for child support. Maybe it is okay for you to suffer but not the baby. He sounds like he is very controlling and abusive. All I know is that I would look out for my baby. Don"t let your baby suffer over a jack***. When it somes to your baby, your baby should come first thatn yourself. Don't sit around taking crap off a low life.
2007-05-23 12:30:54 · answer #7 · answered by mizzpretti 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It's not childish behavior...it's his attempt to control everything in his world. Unfortunately, that doesn't work for any of us.
If he's willing to risk the baby's safety and comfort, just for the sake of "getting even" with you, it's time to RUN - NOT WALK - away from him. Seriously...if you wrote to Dear Abby, she'd tell you the same thing. You need to get away from what is, essentially, an abusive relationship...he may not be hitting you, but his behavior is abusive, nonetheless. Get away while you still can.
2007-05-23 11:56:14 · answer #8 · answered by abfabmom1 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
He is just being childish and this is a way to control you. I can tell that you to are not together anymore and it bugs him because he can't tell you what to do, but this is a way he can! If he is doing this now just wait until she needs formula will he let her starve, will you? Just file for child support and get it over with!
2007-05-23 11:58:02 · answer #9 · answered by mammagin 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
That sounds like a tough situation. You must consider the welfare of your child first. Do what is right for your baby. He needs to grow up and take responsibility for his daughter.
2007-05-23 11:51:24 · answer #10 · answered by SAMMY 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋